She kept thinking about Pete. Because Pete would distract her. Or let her be. Or just... be there. And Anatoly was doing that. She could tell. Just as she could tell that he and Svetlana knew one another better than anyone. It was silent most of the time, but there. If they had destroyed the coin, they wouldn't have lost the Warehouse. But Myka had been selfish... she hadn't wanted to lose Helena. She still hadn't known if she could completely trust her. But she hadn't wanted to lose the woman who knew her better than anyone. Better than even Sam had and she had never thought that possible. It was why she had known that she could get Helena to stop trying to destroy the world if she forced her to shoot her point blank. But she had still been used. And that hurt. How she had lied for Helena when she never lied. How she had left the one place that was her happiness. It was too much to come back from. It had only been a year since that, really. And she still didn't know.
But Pete... Pete wouldn't let her brood about Helena. At least she didn't think so. Because he didn't like her even if they had made their peace when they had learned the truth of what had been done to her. Then again, Pete wouldn't have let her run off to save someone without back up and thus nearly get blown up. Just as had nearly happened back home. Helena had died to save her and how did she repay her? By nearly getting exploded herself.
The comment of knowing the pain of losing someone, Myka just gave a small nod. It wasn't like they had really ever talked so it wasn't like she knew Anatoly's past. She knew what she had learned in Paris and over the weekend.
"Okay. Fine. You know what it's like to lose someone. But then what? Seeing them here. Seeing it happen again and knowing that going back home means they're gone again?"
Oh, the word loved would have been a bad decision. Myka couldn't handle that truth. Not right now. She couldn't face that openness and vulnerability. She lost control when she loved. She had to hold onto her control or else... she didn't know but it would be bad. And the fact that she'd been forced to crack just made it worse. There was no business to focus on. Nothing to distract her from the overwhelming pain. So she found herself here. In a bar with Anatoly.
"You didn't have to come, you know.... I'm sure you have better things to do than watch me drink."