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John Watson internationally smuggles tea (imhisblogger) wrote in wariscoming,
@ 2012-07-17 13:17:00

Entry tags:

john watson, lexi branson

Who:John Watson and Lexi Branson
What:John goes to sit with Sherlock and figure out what to do with the body.
When:Today
Where:The Park
Warnings: um..badness!

24 hours at least Sherlock had been in that park alone. John felt like an incredible failure as a friend. He should have been there with him, he could have helped. He at least could have made sure that Sherlock didn't die alone. He could have made it hurt less, or tried to keep him warm. Anything was better then nothing. Even if that nothing included shooting Jim Moriarty. Sherlock was more important to him than any revenge, none would bring his friend back. Nothing could ever make it better. He walked toward that park in silence, if anyone had said anything to him he hadn't noticed and didn't respond. He couldn't trust his voice. This was the second time he'd lost him, he couldn't do it anymore. What had he done to deserve to have his best friend and heart trampled on twice?

Was it his time in the war? Did he deserve it somehow? He'd done nothing since then but try to help people as a doctor and where did it get him. Burned. It was still raining from the night before, the sky was grey but the air was warm. Blond hair matted against his face, his shirt stuck to his skin. John didn't even feel it. Without Sherlock his world made very little sense anymore. Without his best friend he never felt more alone. Sherlock understood him on levels many had never bothered to try until this world.

John wasn't sure how to process any of that. And it didn't matter. Upon seeing Sherlock's limp and pale body wrapped in his familiar trench coat, everything froze even his breathing. He stopped and stared, his lips dry and his eyes hard. It took all his will power to approach the body. He barely made eye contact at all with Lexi. Looking down at Sherlock's face all he could do was drop down beside him. "Sherlock.." His hand touched his face and down to his wrist to check for pulse upon pure habit. Blond brows knit together as he gently lifted him into his arms and held him. Just sat there and held him, not caring if the blood got on him. He was still wearing some of Moriarty's as well from shooting him so close.

"You promised you wouldn't leave me."

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feelingepic
2012-07-17 08:55 pm UTC (link)

Lexi had spent a lot of the time with the body wondering if John felt now how Lee must have felt. Lost, unable to stop what had happened, wondering what came next. If this was it. If this was the best he could do. John wasn't going to suffer the same way if she could help it. If she could stop him feeling as lost as she imagined Lee would have felt then dammit she'd do all she could to help him through this. And she knew she wouldn't be alone in doing it either. Of course she wouldn't. The people here did care, no matter what people like the bastard that had done this thought. And he'd killed him. He'd gotten that, for whatever good revenge ever did anyone. Poor guy. It had to mess anyone up. Lexi had lost friends of course but never someone this close. Never someone that close to her heart. But she had been lost.

When John got there Lexi's heart broke. He looked like hell, still blood splattered, still broken. But he still went to check a pulse before seeming to accept it and pulling the body close to him. Lexi had done what she could, wiped some of the blood away, cleaned him up a bit. And moved him out of the way of people because they didn't need that on top of everything else that Moriarty had done to them.

She didn't say anything for a long while because what could she say, sorry his friend was dead, sorry he hadn't been there. It was all so trite.

But finally she needed to. He was just sitting there. Hurting, not even crying but just staring. She needed to do something and all she could do was reach out, take his hand in hers, the one not clutching at his friend and spoke softly. "John, we need to move him. Its not right him being here, we need to get him back to the complex at least. Can you do that with me?"

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imhisblogger
2012-07-17 09:19 pm UTC (link)

There was no force on Earth that could make him let go of Sherlock in that moment it was good that Lexi didn't try. It wouldn't have gotten a single reaction. He was very much still in shock. This was just the calm before the storm. Any light that had once touched his eyes and face was simply gone left with empty despair. His fingertips brushed against Sherlock's coat as if he was trying to reach out for anything left. There was nothing of course. Sherlock might have been right that all that was left after death was the ground. John didn't know what he expected to find by holding him like that. Maybe some sort of hint that there was more, but he was met with nothing but silence and a chill.

His hand instinctively clutched Sherlock a little tighter as he felt Lexi's against the other. He tried to speak, but he found his voice didn't work. So for another long while all he could do was to stare. He couldn't move, he could barely even breathe. Finally he nodded and began to lift Sherlock with some effort. "I'll do it." Any warmth that had once been in his voice was just gone. He was a shell of the man he once was.

With Sherlock's body in his arms, he closed his eyes. "Nobody else touches him." He looked over at Lexi and then at the walk they had infront of them. A walk he'd now had to make without Sherlock for the rest of his life. He didn't even want to think about the rest of his life without Sherlock. Sherlock gave him purpose and a reason to wake up in the morning.

What was his reason now? How was he supposed to go on from there?

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feelingepic
2012-07-17 09:56 pm UTC (link)

Lexi waited watching the man, giving him whatever time he needed but knowing that they really did have to get the body out of the open air. And god, body. Even saying that, even for someone as old as she was, it made it final. It made it real and the chill in the air more real. And she just wanted to hug the doctor and tell him it would all be okay. But it wouldn't would it? She couldn't promise that. She could make him believe it, but it wouldn't make it true. All she could do for the man was be there. Help him.

"Of course." she said, to his insistence that he be the one to move the body, she'd called for some people to come with a car, they could get him to the complex and then John could make the decisions. The horrible cruel hard decisions that needed to be made now. The ones about funerals, and burials. Lexi would have saved him all of it if she could have. But that wasn't how the world worked.

"No one else touches him John. Just you. Okay. But people are going to come and they're going to help us get him into the car and back to the complex. That'll be okay won't it? And then you can sit with him. No ones gonna make you do anything you don't want to. I promise you that, okay. I would kick their asses and you know I would."

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imhisblogger
2012-07-17 10:24 pm UTC (link)

John couldn't say body yet. It was still Sherlock and still him. He still personalized the corpse and even then he could practically hear Sherlock telling him that was pointless and stupid. That he shouldn't make a connection to a body. It was Sherlock's way of telling him he cared. He didn't want John to hurt more than necessary, but John was already hurting. He was broken hearted and it was as plain as day on his face.

If a car was coming that meant he didn't have to lift Sherlock just yet, so he rested him back down as gingerly as he could and watched him a while longer. If he squinted a little it almost looked like he was just sleeping there. Like he'd gotten tired after dealing with Moriarty and his insanity and just couldn't make it home.

"Who is coming?" Any other situation he might have tried to make conversation, but he was too tired and too defeated to try anymore. He should have been happy that Moriarty was finally dead by his gun but he wasn't sure he'd ever feel true happiness again at that point. "I should prepare him." He still couldn't say body. He doubted that he ever would.

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feelingepic
2012-07-20 01:45 pm UTC (link)

"Just one or two people. Stefan and Jaime, they're just gonna help us get him into a car and back to the medbay. From there maybe we talk to Molly, she knows about this kind of thing. They're friends John. We're all friends and I won't lie to you. Its going to be hard. It's going to hurt you to do it but you know that you have to. He wouldn't want you to hurt like this forever. You know that. He's your friend."

Past tense, such a difficult thing, especially for a vampire but Lexi had tried, tried to get to him in time, tried to get him healed, but it had been too long. He'd been left there, unknown for too long and it hurt her heart to think how it must have affected John. The ones left behind always bore the brunt didn't they? Just like Lee must have done when Damon had taken her life. John talked about preparing the body then and Lexi knew how that happened, she had a little cloth handkerchief in her pocket and handed it to the doctor so he could clean the body up as best he knew how.

"Do what you need to do. I'm not going anywhere. If you need to stop, if you need to talk. Hell if you need a hug I'm right here, and I'll be right here for as long as you need me. You know that don't you?" She didn't wait for an answer, simply stood back a little to wait until John had done what he needed to do, and for the others to get here. It was the best she could do for John, and for the fallen detective now, and she'd do it because it was the right thing, she liked to think its what anyone would have done in the same situation.

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imhisblogger
2012-07-26 08:55 am UTC (link)

Those names didn't sound familiar, and honestly John was beyond the point of caring. Whether it was a good thing or not remained to be seen, but Lexi had at least made him feel comforted enough to trust the ones picking them up would not force him to do anything with the body he didn't want. The body. Sherlock's body. It was hard not to break down infront of the vampire. "He should have let me help. He drugged me. I could have prevented this. I could have bloody done something." Worthlessness about summed up how he felt, he couldn't even be there with Sherlock when he died. What sort of friend had that made him?

He knew Lexi tried, he didn't blame her. But Sherlock's death was a thing that was going to weigh heavy on him for a long time to come. It was already on his face, he was worn emotionally and physically. There wasn't much more he could take. He was barely able to clean him up with a ginger but shaking hand. His were normally so very steady, the hands of a sniper had to be. This wasn't just any victim though, this was Sherlock Holmes. His best friend and partner.

"Can't stop..not yet. Not until he's.." John's voice trailed off and he just nodded to her words. He wouldn't have turned down any of those options at this point save for the stopping, but he could no longer find his voice. He was cleaning blood off of Sherlock. There was a body infront of him. John suddenly felt as though he was going to be ill.

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