"It's not something I can explain, Abby," he defended quickly, as if it was something he'd personally done to her. It wasn't, of course it wasn't. Yes, his words would hurt, but he couldn't help that. This wasn't his fault. If he could have, he'd have chosen to stay in their world. He'd have worked with Danny, he'd have faced Helen one last time, he'd have spent that year in the Cretaceous with her. The Seal had denied him all of that. But it wasn't his fault.
He gave her his little, crooked smile, trying to be reassuring. Reaching out, he touched her arm to stop her mad dash in the wrong direction. He didn't speak again right away, just nodded towards the sidewalk that would take them to the complex.
"Allana told me not to look myself up," Connor finally said into the darkness. "And I didn't. I was really good about it. I found the guy with my face...you know, the actor who plays me on the telly? I found him in a movie and that was weird but it wasn't me so I figured it might not be so bad. And then... I was just flipping through the channels and there we were. So, like an idiot, I watched the whole thing." Right up until the moment she'd asked him to marry her. And a tiny thrill had gone through him, even though he'd been happily with another woman. One day, when he had to go back, he'd at least be happy. Still putting his life in danger at every turn, but happy.
The place was so complicated. How many other people in the world could say they were worried about that?
He kept walking, now silent, his hands shoved in his pockets to keep from reaching out and touching her. Because it wouldn't be the touch she wanted from him. She wanted her boyfriend, her fiance's comforting touch and that wasn't him. He'd wanted it for so long. That password he'd made, it was used so rarely he'd thought he'd never need it. But it was there for a reason. And then the future happened and he would actually make good on that promise to make her Abby Temple.
But not here and not yet. And that was so complicated for him.
"I missed you," he finally said quietly. "I know, you've had me all along, we haven't been separated for you. But for me? It's been a long time."