By the gods he'd done this to her. Given her that look of pain and hurt. She'd opened up herself to him and he'd thrown it all back at her because of Cersei and now, here they stood and Jaime felt himself so conflicted. So utterly dismayed at the choice that lay before him. His sister, his Queen, his love for as long as he could remember, and this firey passionate pirate, Dornish in appearance and Ironborn in attitude. Exactly the kind of woman he'd have spurned in Westros and here he was, falling for her. What exactly was he supposed to do? It was originally a mistake, one mistake, a kiss that had lead to more, and Jaime had believed his secret was safe and would always be kept safe. And it was, that was the thing, no matter how much he'd hurt her, she would never tell Cersei. Never be that woman though many would say she had every single right to be.
"I won't treat you as I did. Not again. That was cruel of me and I see that now. I was just so scared Isabela. Scared that she'd know I'd broken my vows for another woman than her, scared that I'd be without her, don't you see that I didn't know how to be without her. In truth I'm not altogether sure if I know now. But I know that I'm here with you because I want to be and that is a truth as blunt as I can make it. I wouldn't want to see you run. For more reasons that I wish to see you stay though I will admit that's first to my tongue."
He turned to her, wanting so desperately to make a move, lay a hand soft on her arm, show her that he truly did care, but he waited. He had so much more to say. "My brother always used to say I was wasted in the Kingsguard. 'Find a woman Jaime' he'd tell me, 'one who'll fuck the duty right out of you' I joined it for her though, because she wished me close. And then the death of one king changed so very much, for the both of us. She became Queen and I became...well you know what they call me. Robert let me stay amongst his guard though he was counseled not to by so many, I believe my sister had a hand in that. So I stayed in the capital and I watched, stole moments with her where I could. Watched her bear three children, mine all of them, and watched the King, once so proud, grow fatter and weaker with each passing day. When I came here I wanted to kill him. Another king though this one for much less honorable reasons. I had given up on my honor and then there was you. I suppose, you gave it back to me."
He finally dared take her hand in his, moving just so slightly closer toward her. "I'm not sure where we go from here my lady. But I promise to honor you. I won't be cruel. I won't make you run. But it will not be easy. I expect you know that already."