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Helena Wells has "disappeared" with the Astrolabe ([info]ismellapples) wrote in [info]wariscoming,
@ 2012-04-14 14:45:00

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Entry tags:helena g. wells, myka bering

Who: Myka and Helena
What: Helena is freaking out hardcore over Moriarty's post to her. Oh and they are sort of fictional.
When: This afternoon a little while after Moriarty's post
Where: Helena's apartment
Warning: Cursing, probably some angst, everything else is TBA



She was fully aware she shouldn't have clicked the link Moriarty had given her. She was fully aware even commenting to him about it was a bad idea. And oh she'd tried to keep her comments neutral and not give him the answers he was looking for. But there had been no way she could answer that last one without him using it against someone. But she finally responded and made the decision to walk away from her computer. Though the page with the video was still on the screen. Helena really didn't know what was worse, that she'd just discovered she was fictional from Moriarty or the fact that he knew her weak spots. Well okay, so she knew it was the latter that was worse. Glancing up at the ceiling, Helena was feeling a storm of emotions. Pain. Anger. Hate. Frustration. Fear. Moriarty obviously knew what buttons to push with her now. How the Hell could she keep a poker face to him now?

And it all fell back to that one unfiltered conversation she'd had with Irene that set all this in motion. Letting out a curse, Helena balled up her fist and drove it into the wall, not even wincing as she did so. The kenpo had been good for something. She started pacing furiously, trying to come up with some way to keep Moriarty from using her, from getting to Myka and Claudia. She refused to let them fall into his games. Helena would rather be the one he played with, which she was now completely certain he'd do just to get to Irene.

"Yes. I know. She's not the version from the books but that doesn't make this a good idea." Myka's written words played through her head, and she couldn't help but know the other agent was right. If only because now Moriarty would hurt the Victorian woman, and he now knew how to best hurt her. Feelings tears stinging her eyes, Helena didn't even bother to try and hold them back, letting them trail down her cheeks as they wished. Helena was firmly between a rock and a hard place, and she hated it. She wasn't used to being the hunted. She was used to being the hunter, the one seeking out its prey. Which is perhaps why her mind so quickly turned to finding a way to locate Moriarty and kill him before he could hurt anyone else. Helena had people she wished to protect here, and she wasn't about to see them harmed because of one simple lapse of judgement.

"Am I even capable of having a relationship that doesn't end with my lover betraying me or having one of us be the focus of a psychopath?" Helena mused in frustration. The other side of this was that this would practically force Helena to actually telling Irene everything. Of course, she'd all ready planned to tell her, but in her own time. It wasn't exactly light conversation to talk about being a cold-blooded murderer and trying to kill 6 billion people. The only question would be if she'd be able to tell her before Moriarty got to her. Casting another tear-filled glance at the computer and seeing the YouTube video sitting there, Helena let out a pained whimper and punched the wall again.


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[info]ilikepuzzles
2012-04-14 11:56 pm UTC (link)
For now, it was important to just let Helena get everything out. That had been part of what had caused the whole Trident Incident of 2010, or at least, Myka felt so. If Helena had allowed herself to express what she was truly feeling, hadn't kept all that pain and anger internalized, perhaps she wouldn't have felt that destroying the entire planet, resetting it, was the best course of action. Of course it was too late now to know for certain, but Myka firmly believed this and thus she let Helena speak her mind in regards to what was going on with Moriarty to keep her from going after the bastard.

That. And Myka had a strong desire to go after him herself. He hadn't physically harmed Helena, hadn't killed her. But he had still hurt her. And she didn't want to give him that chance to turn it physical. She wasn't losing someone she loved again. Not that it was the love she had for Sam. It was it's own love. That was friendship. Because... it was. And she wasn't thinking about this because when they got sent home, Helena would still be dead and she would have lost her all over again and she wasn't dealing with that. The fact remained, that Myka wanted to kill Moriarty herself to keep Helena from being hurt or going down that path of darkness again.

Did she think Moriarty would pull her into this? Perhaps on a subconscious level. After all. Helena just said that her being threatened made her lose her impulse control. If Moriarty actually knew that, well, she was in danger. Both Claudia and herself. And Myka saw Claudia as a younger sister, which meant her being in danger because of Irene's folly was not all right and made her more annoyed with the other woman than she had been before. Really. If this hadn't happened, Myka would probably still disapprove of the relationship between Helena and Irene, but it wouldn't be also complete anger at her for putting both Claudia and Helena in danger.

"You won't. I won't let you." The words could be considered laughable. No one could promise such a thing. But Myka was determined to keep Helena from dying. Determined that she be given the chance at life she so desperately deserved after all she had lost and sacrificed, momentary lapses in judgment and all.

Pacing in thought, Myka twirled a curl around her fingers as she didn't have a twizzler in which to chew on.

"The good thing about toying is that it means he won't do anything right away.... at least nothing physical." Or so the hope went. But Moriarty had been here longer than Myka had and it seemed that this was the first time he had outright done something to get those who were displaced thinking. It was the first time he had shown what he was capable of. If he could wait that long for that, messing with Irene would be slow and fun for him. Which meant that outright hurting Helena on the get go wouldn't get his desired end game.

Then again, Myka didn't speak psychopath so she could be completely off base with that assumption. And while that was what she would prefer to believe, they still needed to plan for anything.

"He'll have counter moves for everything, which means we need counter moves for everything...."

But Myka wasn't a chess player. She could come up with strategies to protect people, even the President of the United States, but that didn't mean she knew how to prepare for someone like Moriarty. But she could still use what she knew to protect Helena. Or at least try. It was a bit more difficult when it was really just herself and Claudia but she'd find a way to make this work.

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[info]ismellapples
2012-04-15 12:52 am UTC (link)
Holding everything in was definitely not the way to go. Helena wasn't walking that road again. She couldn't walk that road again. She truly wanted to take this chance to be who she'd used to be. It was difficult, and the guilt of her actions was crushing her, but she knew she had to work through it all. She wanted to work through it all. More than anything, she wanted to see the future with optimism again, to be able to hold her head up high and know she was stronger for getting through everything instead of being one of the great figures of history whose downfall and end could not have been written more beautifully or tragically than how she'd lived it.

At Myka's promise, Helena looked at her. Instead of scoffing or pointing out it was impossible to promise such a thing, Helena managed a small, grateful smile. She greatly appreciated the sentiment, and it was reassuring. Perhaps if Myka and Claudia were watching her it would be easier to avoid such an unfavorable outcome. But Helena well knew all bets were off when dealing with a psycopath. After all, she'd seen plenty of the type working at Warehouse 12 and in those she'd encountered after being deBronzed. Namely Sykes, who was someone she was trying to forget about.

"At least Moriarty does not have access to the Janus coin." No doubt he would use such a thing against her, if only to watch her with glee and no doubt turn the body she left behind into some psychopathic killer or something. "Or access to any artifacts for that matter."

And for the first time in several minutes, Helena took a breath and actually felt a little of her anxiety ebb away. But not much. She still paced back and forth, listening to Myka.

"That is my hope, but Moriarty's endgame is always Sherlock, not Irene. So it stands to reason that sooner or later he will get bored of playing with Irene and turn back to Sherlock." Which undoubtedly meant they didn't have all the time ever to come up with counterattacks for Moriarty's moves. It was going to be difficult planning because Helena truly didn't know what to expect from Moriarty. He wasn't the one from the books, so it made it harder to know if his plans would flow the same or not.

While Myka wasn't a chess player, Helena was. She had a mind geared towards strategies and being able to see the pieces on the board and defend and attack successfully. But she needed more information about Moriarty's game in order to better defend against it. She needed to see where more his pieces were. She needed to know exactly where Irene stood on the board as well. That would no doubt be the key to this.

"I know you will hate this, but we need to talk to Irene. Whether you like it or not, she knows Moriarty better than either of us do. She no doubt has better in sight into his games than we would." Yes she knew Myka would sooner shoot Irene for causing all of this, but Helena also knew Myka would listen to logic. And really, talking to Irene was logical. "If we are to successfully keep making counterattacks, we need to know more of where his pieces lie on the board. I need to see more of his strategy."

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[info]ilikepuzzles
2012-04-15 01:19 am UTC (link)
The good thing was that Helena recognized that holding everything in was a bad move because at least then it would hopefully be easier to talk her into opening up to people. So long as it wasn't Irene. But anyone else who didn't have questionable objectives and that was fine. Helena deserved to have friends who would be there for her. Still, Myka had faith that Helena would find the woman in her she wished to be, to see the future with optimism again despite the pain. Still, it was going to be a long and difficult road. Myka still struggled following Sam's death, even knowing it was artifact related. For Helena... she couldn't imagine but she could be there for her even after she had betrayed her. Because in the end, they saved one another as they always did.

Still, at least Helena didn't scoff at her. Myka would have been extremely offended by that. She was well aware that she was at a disadvantage here, but she was still determined and when Myka Bering was determined, she would protect Helena. And they would get rid of Moriarty and that would be one less concern for the people here.

"This is true... I wouldn't want him to have any artifact, though..." That would make him more dangerous than he already was. If even something as simple as a string could turn someone into a psychopath like Sykes? Someone like Moriarty having access to any artifact was dangerous beyond all compare.

"It does stand to reason he will grow bored with her. But hopefully that can work to our benefit. If he bores of her, he bores of you. If that happens before he stops with the mind games, that is one less thing to worry about and we can find a way to help be rid of him for good without the added need of looking over our shoulders at all times...."

Sherlock being his endgame could be a good thing. A very good thing. She didn't envy the man that. He was an ass from what she saw but he was still Sherlock Holmes and she had seen his conversations with others. Harsh, but true. Still, Helena would have to handle the chess strategies and Myka would find a way to make a protective detail with that information.

Or Helena could say they needed to talk to Irene. About to protest, Myka quickly closed her mouth as Helena continued on. Damn her. Damn her using logic. She was right, of course. And Myka couldn't let her emotions get the best of her only to get someone else killed.

"Fine."

Oh, she was so far from pleased by this. But she still knew it was the best option to get information about him.

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[info]ismellapples
2012-04-15 05:24 am UTC (link)
Helena was more than grateful Myka was standing with her now, ready to protect her. While Helena didn't exactly like having to be protected by others, she was so glad to have that now. To have others watching her back when she couldn't because not even the great H. G. Wells could see in all directions at once. She couldn't even always anticipate where enemies would come at her from. And when it came to Moriarty, Helena needed all the reinforcements and allies she could get. While it may not help her overall anxiety over the whole thing, it would at least be reassuring that should something happen, if Moriarty got a hold of her, she would have people to come find her and save her.

"I hope it does, but I'm not going to sit and hope for such a thing to occur. After all to do that would only spell my doom." Which she hated to think about, but they couldn't let themselves get lazy in this respect. "Considering he just finished toying with Sherlock, I have no doubt in my mind his focus now will be on Irene, on me, to try and stay under Sherlock's detection for the mean time."

The one word response, and the tone of voice in which Myka said it, only reinforced Helena's belief of how much Myka truly disliked Irene. "I need Irene to tell me everything she knows about Moriarty. It is the only way." Yes she could talk to Sherlock or Watson, but Sherlock was from a point in time before he'd met Irene. And Watson...she wasn't sure, but she would rather get Irene's take on things. After all, she was the ultimate target in this, and perhaps she had experiences in her own world she could lend to this. As much as Myka disliked and distrusted Irene, Helena had a great affinity for The Woman. She thought of her as a friend, and so she would obviously take her opinion into consideration.

That's when she remembered she'd managed to finish the receiver earlier before Moriarty had blown her out of the water, so to speak. Turning, she went over to her dining table, which was currently cluttered with papers and a few inventions, and picked up the tracking bug, then pulled her locket out of her shirt and opened it, slipping the bug inside it and closing it. Grabbing the receiver, she walked over to Myka and handed her the device.

"Insurance, in case the worst may occur. You will always be able to find me." She looked Myka in the eye. She was so incredibly scared, and the fear was overpowering in her dark eyes. For the first time in the time they'd known each other, Helena appeared truly frail because of the fear. It went well beyond the fear she'd shown in the Sanctum when she believed she was about to watch Myka die because of her inability to open the chess lock. "I'm so scared..." She didn't exactly need to give voice to it, Myka would be able to see it all over her body language, but Helena vocalized it, and she couldn't help another wave of tears filling her eyes, a couple more finding their way down her cheeks. Honestly, she could've used a hug about now, but she felt a little awkward just latching onto Myka in such a fashion since she'd never actually hugged the woman before. Invaded her personal space more often than not and suddenly latch onto her to save her life, yes, but never a hug.

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[info]ilikepuzzles
2012-04-15 08:10 pm UTC (link)
Well, it wasn't as if either woman was used to having to be protected by others. Not in this sense, at least. Having a partner to have your back on the field? Of course. But nothing like this, where psychopaths were targeting on you and you needed someone there to help protect you. And it wasn't as if either of them were weak. They were Warehouse agents. They were trained for weird and survival. But that didn't make Moriarty focusing on Helena any easier to deal with. It didn't give them insight on how to handle this. All Myka could do was hope her training with Secret Service would come in use now.

"I'm not saying that. I'm just hoping that will be the case..." Still, Helena had a point. He had messed with Sherlock, even drugged him. There was no need to bother him at the moment. Move his pieces, yes, but nothing focused on the man. He would get lost in his cases again while Moriarty played with his other intended victims as a means to pass the time. Too bad they couldn't get Sherlock's input on this. While Irene would have a better idea than they would, Sherlock would be the one with the most information but between the drugging and his own cases that he was working on to locate the man, it probably wouldn't be wise.

"I know." But just because she knew didn't mean she liked it and she didn't bother masking it in her voice. While she had already decided talking to Sherlock was out of the question because of his own schedule, she would still prefer him or Watson to Irene. But Helena would believe her so what was the point. Myka would just have to find a way to get answers in other venues as well. Ones she could actually trust.

As Helena went and put something on her locket, Myka just blinked before she was handed the receiver. It gave her the memory of Claudia making a tracking device to keep track of Artie's glasses case as he always lost it. Simple but efficient. Assuming he didn't lose the receiver. Still, Myka wasn't absent minded like their leader and so she just took it and nodded.

"Good. I'll keep it on me at all times."

And she would. Myka wasn't losing Helena. Not like this. Not when she had her back. But to hear her admit to being scared? To looking so... defenseless? It was surreal and Myka didn't like it. Helena was strong, had been through so much... And Myka didn't know what to do. Not this time.

"I know... but we'll get through this." Somehow. Somehow they would get through this. That was the only option.

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[info]ismellapples
2012-04-16 03:51 am UTC (link)
Typically, Helena could adapt to new situations fairly easily. She could handle nearly every situation she was thrown in to. However, this was something she was unprepared for. This was something she didn't know how to handle. This was something she hadn't had to deal with before. There had been Sykes, but he hadn't exactly been angling to kill her or hurt her. He needed to put her back together in order to open the blasted chess lock. Sykes needed to exploit Helena's mind. Moriarty? Oh he'd undoubtedly exploit her mind, he well knew who she was. But ultimately, he'd want to hurt her. And all to get under Irene's skin. And if Helena didn't play along, if she didn't at least try to keep his interest, he'd undoubtedly drag Myka and Claudia into this, and she was not going to stand for that.

"We can take one thing to our advantage, though it won't be much of one. Moriarty will have done his homework, he would have seen all there was to see of whatever it is we are characters in here. No doubt he will try to exploit my mind first." Helena well knew she had a great mind, but why did the psychopaths always try to exploit it? "I really don't know who I would prefer exploiting my mind, Moriarty or Sykes. Moriarty is far more dangerous than Sykes, but Moriarty does not have the chess lock to force me to stick you in." Helena shuddered slightly. Oh she hated thinking about the chess lock. Hated thinking about how close she had come to being responsible for Myka's death.

"And you know I always wear my locket, so you'll always be able to find me." Unless, of course, Moriarty took it from her if he would manage to capture her. But Helena pushed that thought from her mind quickly. She didn't need to sit and think about the possibilities of what could potentially happen. It would only make her more frightened, and she needed to calm down right now, not continue to get worked up.

She all ready knew Myka would find sources of her own that she trusted for information on Moriarty, and Helena was grateful for that. She would take any and all information on the man she could get right now. Helena was also very aware that she'd just gone to two different extremes of the emotional spectrum in the time Myka had been here. She felt like a pendulum, but she couldn't help it. At least she was expressing the emotions as they came and went. And at least in this current moment, she was feeling less murderous than she had a couple minutes earlier.

She finally sank onto her couch, able to stop pacing for the mean time. She reached out and closed her laptop, not wishing to see what was on the screen. Helena truly hated feeling this vulnerable, this defenseless. But all she needed was to lay the groundwork for getting through this. She took a deep breath and looked up at Myka. "This will be the hardest case yet for Bering and Wells to solve, but I have faith that we will get through it." It was meant in a more light-hearted manner, though the fact she didn't attempt to put her own name first, as she'd once done, spoke volumes to her mental state at the moment.

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[info]ilikepuzzles
2012-04-16 03:59 pm UTC (link)
"It's still an advantage." It really wasn't much of one, especially if Moriarty found a way to physically control Helena to use her mind to his advantage but if he kept it at mind games, they still had one less thing to worry about. Unless he pressed the wrong buttons which he knew how to do. Still at the mention of the chess lock, Myka tensed and looked to the side. She knew she'd survive because she knew that Helena wouldn't let her die. But that didn't exactly make it an easy memory to have. To know how close she'd been to death. Death by a psychopath. But it was true. Moriarty didn't have that.

"He doesn't have access to anything artifact related. Instead he has his gangs he's in control of and a witch to keep him appraised of things. So long as he doesn't utilize the witch or vampire, all of the threats he will pose will be human in nature."

And human in nature threats Myka could handle far easier than artifact or supernatural ones. Oh, she could handle artifact issues and she would learn to handle supernatural ones. But if they could only have the human threats to worry about, that would be good.

"I know."

Even though Myka knew that, if he could, Moriarty would undoubtedly be rid of the locket. He may not know she had a tracking device on it, but it would just be a means to hurt Helena. And if he was able to determine if she were bugged or interference was an issue, then there would be that as well. Still, not the thing to worry about right now.

The wide spectrum of emotions Helena was expressing was understandable but strange as she wasn't the type to just do so. Still, it was what it was and she just quirked a brow at how she said Bering and Wells instead of putting her name first. True it sounded better this way but it was a clue to knowing just how upset Helena was.

"I'm going to make you tea."

It was the only thing she could think of doing at the moment, so she made her way to the kitchenette and put the water on for the tea. Hopefully it would help to calm Helena down more.

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[info]ismellapples
2012-04-17 12:29 am UTC (link)
The fear that was starting to creep into Helena's mind was what if Moriarty had his witch enchant objects to make them like the artifacts? She truly hoped that such a thing wouldn't be possible because Helena did not want to be subjected to such things. Though she was starting to think Moriarty wouldn't re-create the chess lock. After all, she would find her way through far too easily. But if he created something similar... No, she couldn't think about that.

"Human threats is far easier to deal with. Though we can't forget about the witch or the vampire. There is no telling how he will play this, and we must be prepared for anything." It was at least reassuring to her that the threat would most likely be human. That meant it would be easier to defend herself against it. But of course, Moriarty was intelligent, he would find ways to throw her off, to force her into whatever box he wished her to be in. And she well knew that Irene wouldn't take well to this. After all, Irene was the ultimate target, and the more Moriarty could upset and hurt Helena, the more upset and hurt Irene would get.

Running a hand through her hair with a soft sigh, Helena was trying to think. Her mind was still racing, still in a whirlwind from the video she'd seen. She was trying to get a grip on her emotions, knowing that just letting them out as they came was probably just as destructive as keeping them all bottled up inside. But she had at least expressed them, let Myka know just what was currently going through her mind and heart. Now she just needed to focus on calming down so she could then focus on devising a strategy to defend herself from Moriarty.

"Thank you," she responded when Myka went to make her tea. Really, that should've been something Helena thought of to do, but it was understandable that she hadn't because of her current mental state. But as she sat there, she started feeling the need to pace again, unable to truly sit still. But instead of pacing, she stood up and went into her bedroom momentarily to grab a box, then bring it back out and sat it on her coffee table. She then crossed over to her dining table and fished around, moving some papers around until she finally found what she was looking for, which were some tools. She then grabbed two in-progress inventions off the table, then returned to her couch and sat down. She set aside a Tesla-looking device, only larger and more gun-like, on the coffee table and set about working on the second invention in her hands, which was her Grappler. Grabbing a couple parts out of the box she'd brought out, she set about fastening them into place. The Grappler was roughly half finished. It would have been finished sooner, but she'd been distracted by other inventions and trying to get the Farnsworths mass-produced.

Tea, building and Myka would undoubtedly be a combination that would help her calm down enough to where she wouldn't run out and kill Moriarty. They could then try to devise some sort of plan. Or they could just talk to keep themselves distracted for a while.

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[info]ilikepuzzles
2012-04-17 03:27 am UTC (link)
Myka wasn't even thinking of that potential because it was far too dangerous. If Moriarty found a way to recreate artifacts? Then the danger of this place would intensify. Especially if they weren't ordinary artifacts because the three from their world wouldn't be able to know what to do because undoubtedly he'd modify it so their normal techniques wouldn't work. It was a headache even thinking about it. Which was why she wasn't doing that at all.

"No, we won't forget about them. Just knowing that it will most likely be human helps matters. We need to prepare for anything but focusing on the human aspects would be best."

And that was something Myka could handle. Human cruelty. She could protect about that. The reason Sam died was because of an artifact. She still felt guilt over it, but in the end, it wasn't human error but an artifact. Which was why she hadn't been there. He'd gone early. She'd been frozen in time for only a few seconds. So long as something like that didn't happen here? Well, they'd be fine then.

Myka didn't mind that Helena hadn't thought to make the tea herself. She was overwhelmed and rightfully so. Besides, it gave Myka a chance to re-center herself again as well as Helena in case she wanted to. It wasn't like she'd judge the other woman for her reaction to this, but they both had pride. As the kettle whistle blew, Myka pulled down two mugs and placed the tea into them, pouring the water into them and letting it steep for a bit before she moved back to the living room, handing one mug to Helena.

She wasn't surprised to see her working on building things. It would hopefully help ground her. Though Myka already knew she'd be spending more time with Helena now just to ensure her safety. Just because it seemed likely that Moriarty would start with the mind games didn't mean Myka was going to be lax in this. Not at all.

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[info]ismellapples
2012-04-17 05:00 am UTC (link)
At the moment, it didn't make sense to Helena for Moriarty to use the witch or the vampire against her. To her, Moriarty seemed more the type to want to cause the pain himself. And considering he was doing this just to get to Irene? Helena was fairly certain she'd only be dealing with him. Of course it still stood to reason he'd use the witch to help him with something, or using the vampire to kidnap her if that was in his plan. But to have them directly attack her? The odds were against that. Or so Helena hoped. She would confirm this with Irene, though.

"I am rather thinking he would rather be the direct cause of the pain and suffering, so the witch and vampire may just be fringe elements." It was only slightly reassuring. Helena would rather not be involved in this at all, but she couldn't change it now. All they could do was adapt and survive. And Helena was nothing if she wasn't a survivor. Nevermind the fact the things Helena had suffered through had almost completely destroyed her. But the fact of the matter was that she was here and she was alive.

Helena was thankful Myka had decided to make the tea. Even though she'd used the time to retrieve a couple inventions and set to work, she'd also used it to pull her emotions back. She pulled them back under the surface, but she didn't lock them away. Looking at her, Myka would be able to see she wasn't repressing the emotions. She just wished to keep as much pride about her as she could at this moment. The last thing they needed was for her to fall apart completely when this was only the beginning of the game.

"Thank you, Myka," she replied, setting a tool down and taking the offered mug. She set her Grappler in her lap as she took a sip of the tea, taking a few moments to take in the aroma of it. Tea was always relaxing, and that was exactly what she needed right now. After taking another sip, she set the mug on the table and picked the Grappler back up, turning it this way and that as she looked it over. She then reached into the box and shuffled around for some moments before she pulled out the part she needed and went about putting it where it belonged.

"I'm glad you came when you did." She looked over at Myka. "Thank you." And that was meant for so much more than the agent simply having good timing. It was for pulling her back from the edge, for listening to her, for just going with the emotional tidal wave. And also for not saying anything about the tears she'd actually shed.

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[info]ilikepuzzles
2012-04-19 07:46 pm UTC (link)
"He may want that but that doesn't mean he's going to succeed."

Because Myka was determined in this. Determined that Helena would not be caused any more pain by this psychopath. Okay, not like she really could control that. She was no genius and that meant she was so far from being on level with Moriarty that it was troublesome. Even so. She was going to do everything within her power to keep him from hurting Helena. She couldn't control the boards. Unless... no, she didn't know if Claudia would have that ability to keep messages from Moriarty showing up. Or if that would do more harm than good. If he didn't have attention paid to him, he'd take more lethal methods undoubtedly. This was all a headache.

Returning with the tea, Myka was relieved to see that Helena wasn't holding her emotions in, that she wasn't repressing them as that was when disaster struck. So as long as she didn't do that, there was a better chance of them surviving this. If Helena allowed herself to feel and process the emotions that this was doing, she wouldn't succumb so easily to the pain and need to destroy and kill.

"Of course."

As Helena worked on the Grappler, Myka sipped her own tea, already trying to piece together a strategy on how to protect the other woman. It was much more difficult than working with the Secret Service because there she had agents on the ready. Here? It was her and Claudia. Oh. And Irene, but she didn't trust the woman so really it was her and Claudia.

"Hmm? Oh. Of course... you'd do the same for me."

Smiling some, Myka looked to the side. She knew the thanks was more than her timing. It was everything. And she knew that Helena would do all of that for her as well. So really, it was fine. So long as they had one another's backs, they'd be fine. They had to be.

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[info]ismellapples
2012-04-19 11:41 pm UTC (link)
"He won't succeed as long as I have any say in the matter." Of course she well knew those were probably hollow words when it came to Moriarty, but she wasn't a coward. Helena wasn't going to just curl up in a corner and never leave the complex until Moriarty was dead and gone. She was a fighter, and she needed to embrace that aspect of herself so she wouldn't give in to the fear. Because she was truly scared now that Moriarty knew her weaknesses.

Which really was not sitting well with her. Helena knew just one well-placed word, or even one well-chosen video that Moriarty sent her would be enough to push her over the edge. She would again become that woman that lived only to cause pain, to unleash the fury of her heart and she wouldn't differentiate between friend or foe. She would try her hardest not to turn down that path again, but Helena also knew it was a very real possibility that she would snap. And she knew Myka knew that. Even Claudia would know that to some extent. But everyone else that she'd befriended in this world? They all had no idea how close they all were to danger simply because Moriarty now knew what buttons to push with Helena. One move, and she would once again become a murderer. And if that happened, the only question would be how many people would be hurt before Myka could stop her?

Helena smiled gently back at Myka. "Of course I would." And she really would. She had moved beyond using Myka as a means to an end she wished to see, and saw her as a friend, someone she trusted more than anyone else. Myka would have her back and she would have Myka's. And that meant more than Helena could ever say. It was something she hadn't had since before she'd been Bronzed. Yes Myka had such a stance before Helena's betrayal in Warehouse 2, but she hadn't seen it, hadn't seen anything other than her own rage and anger and pain. But now, it was something she held close to her heart because it was one of the only things keeping her from losing herself completely.

Setting her tools and Grappler aside, Helena picked her tea back up and sipped it, leaning back against the couch. She went into thought about things, about how to protect herself against Moriarty. Ensuring complete safety was undoubtedly out of the question, there never was a plan that would ensure complete safety. The closest to that would've been the Barrier Field around the Warehouse, but even then there were holes, as Helena herself was more than painfully aware of.

"I don't suppose you would support using a body double for myself to try and throw off Moriarty?" She glanced at Myka, one eyebrow raised in curiosity. It was mostly a suggestion made from amusement alluding to that woman who looked exactly like her. She was fairly sure Moriarty wouldn't fall for that, but it did amuse Helena and she wished to lighten the mood before she got too stuck on a train of thought she didn't want to entertain anymore.

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[info]ilikepuzzles
2012-04-20 04:52 pm UTC (link)
Shaking her head in slight bemusement, Myka let it go. She knew that Helena was strong and determined. Knew that if she put her mind to something, she'd find a way to make it happen. Even at risk of betraying everyone. No. She wasn't going down that line of thought. It didn't matter. It was the past. Helena had moved past it and was no longer a threat. It couldn't be.

Even with all of her faith in Helena, knowing she could overcome a lot, she worried about what would happen if Moriarty said just one thing. He knew her weak spots. And while she wanted Helena to find a way to fight against it. To know that he was just trying to get under her skin and not to let him no matter how much it hurt... she worried he'd still find a way to make her snap despite all of Myka's attempts to keep that from happening. And deep down, she worried that he would branch out in who he would try to hurt. The end game in this particular branch was Irene. The way to get to Irene was Helena, but while Christina was not there, she and Claudia were. If he tried to hurt them to hurt Helena? It could be bad. It could spiral.

The comment about a body double gave Myka a moment of pause as she considered it.

"I wouldn't be opposed if this were a normal situation. Or, well, normal for what I'm used to. But with his use of a witch, it could be difficult to make that work. And while Gaia is here and could easily fit the part, I have a feeling she wouldn't go along with it." Not that Myka knew the woman or spoke to her. But somehow she had a feeling that she wouldn't willingly put herself in harms way for a woman she didn't know. Not many people would. Body doubles were often trained agents as it were.

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[info]ismellapples
2012-04-20 11:58 pm UTC (link)
Oh there was great potential for things to spiral. Helena knew her control was thin at best. It wasn't just because she was still trying to get past the things she'd done in 2010. It was the having been a hologram for a while, then suddenly put back into her body. Then there was the being incinerated and then showing up here. Really, she was still trying to gain a foothold in this place, but it was getting easier with Myka being here. But that didn't mean she was anywhere near ready to deal with someone like Moriarty trying to tear her down only to get to Irene. And if he did anything to Myka and Claudia, Helena knew she would lose it. Even now, her control was starting to fray from seeing that video, but she was trying so hard to center herself again.

The company and the tea were helping. As did her emotional outburst. Now she was just sitting and finding her center again and trying to keep as calm as she possibly could be. At least with Myka here, if she tried to act in the heat of the moment and run off, she wouldn't get farther than the door.

"Probably not. Then again apparently she uses drugs, so she might not even be sober for such an operation." Helena took a longer drink of her tea, drawing her legs up under her, keeping the mug firmly in one hand as she braced her elbow against the back of the couch and propped her head up with her hand. "At this rate we'll be experts on dealing with psychopaths. Though I advise we should not make a habit of it." Sykes. Moriarty. Helena didn't even want to know what other psycopaths they would face here. Though as long as Helena didn't get blown up in the end this time, and all those she cared about also didn't get blown up, she'd consider it a victory.

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[info]ilikepuzzles
2012-04-21 01:40 am UTC (link)
Realizing that she and Claudia could easily be pawns to get to Helena, Myka realized that she would have to find a way to protect all three of the Warehouse agents as opposed to just Helena. That.. made this infinitely more difficult. Because the three of them were the only ones from home, they needed to stay strong together. Really, though? They just needed each other and it was foolish to think otherwise. And given Helena seemed to have shown up after being blown apart right in front of her? It was no wonder she was having trouble adapting. They'd discussed it, of course. Before all of this. How she had gone from being bronzed to unbronzed to hologram to physical to blown up. Add in Moriarty?

At least her presence was helpful to Helena and not hurting or making it worse. Because Myka was pretty determined to just stay there until this entire thing blew over. And who knew how long that would be. Either way, Helena needed someone who could ground her with her and apparently that was Myka, so the curly haired agent would do just that. Ground Helena and maybe have the other woman ground her in her own way. It was what they did for one another, after all.

"I doubt she would be... " It was strange to think of anyone with Helena's face on drugs but what could she say, apparently the Seal thought it funny to bring that person here. Which made it more difficult to trick Moriarty. No. Body doubles wouldn't work at all, sadly enough. So they'd have to find another way.

"I wasn't planning on it. But we probably will be after all of this is done."

Because there were so many worlds here and thus so many chances for psychopaths to show up. Which meant no one was safe from it. Hopefully Sykes wouldn't show up. Then again, if he didn't have the artifacts at his disposal, who knew how much of a threat he'd be. Still, better not risk it. They'd already dealt with him. No need to deal with him again.

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[info]ismellapples
2012-04-21 09:36 pm UTC (link)
It would be a complete miracle if Helena managed to get through this without snapping, without losing control. But she had to prepare herself for the very real possibility that she would face that part of herself once again. Helena didn't want to go through that again, but she knew it could happen. She just didn't know if she'd be able to come back from it once again. Right now, she was far too raw, too lost within herself because of all the changes she'd been through.

But this is where Irene, Myka and Claudia came in. Having the three of them there for her, she knew she had a good chance to come back from that. Though at least this time there were no Regents to rip her consciousness out of herself and store it on the Janus Coin because that was a better solution than simply Bronzing her. At the thought, she involuntarily rolled her eyes. Oh she understood that the Regents had still wanted access to her if they needed it, but how was it better to turn her into a hologram? Oh she was bitter, if only because she felt that the Janus Coin had been a fate worse than Bronzing. And really, Helena hadn't thought anything could be worse than sitting in the Bronze Sector immobile but completely conscious for a century.

"After this, I strongly request that the psychopaths focus their sights on someone else for a while." Helena took a sip of her tea and sighed heavily. "I am so tired of this." It was a statement that carried more meaning than most would think. She was tired of being hunted. She was tired of being a pawn in a psychopath's game. She was tired of drastic changes in her life. She was even a bit tired of her life. It was more than difficult to try and put herself back together when her life would suddenly change course and then she'd have to adjust. Helena was just tired in general. It wouldn't stop her trying to fight her way back to herself, but it would make it infinitely harder to get there.

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[info]ilikepuzzles
2012-04-22 01:08 am UTC (link)
Losing control was fine so long as it was in a safe environment. That Myka could handle. Getting upset, angry. Fine. It was taking it to the level of murdering people or the entire human race when Myka started having issue with lost control. There was a healthy way to lose control and then there was an unhealthy way to do so and she was determined that Helena do this healthily. And so long as Helena did so in a healthy manner, she'd be fine in coming back from it. Of that Myka was certain, and she'd ensure that was the route taken or die trying.

Which... was probably not a comment to make. Not in a place or time like this with psychopaths like Moriarty on the loose. She knew that she and Claudia would be there for Helena. And the friends she made. Irene, well, Helena seemed to think the other woman would be there but Myka had her doubts. Or it was irrational anger at the entire situation and placing the blame on Irene's idiotic mistake. That, too. Really. There was no excuse in her mind. Perhaps she'd feel differently had she been turned into an animal and in shock. But she still maintained that if one cared, truly cared and knew they were at risk and knew that the one who was a threat had no qualms using others.. that they would still find a way to keep them from knowing.

Still, at least Helena would hopefully be given a chance to adjust to her.. whatever numbered chance at life this was for her. Hopefully she would be able to live as a regular woman in an ordinary or as ordinary as a place like this could be.

"I'd prefer they just stop, but I'll take that..."

And then the comment on being tired. Oh, there were so many layers to that one comment and only someone who knew the truth of everything, who had been there and seen could truly grasp it. As such, Myka just reached over and squeezed Helena's hand.

"I know, but you don't have to face this alone."

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[info]ismellapples
2012-04-22 07:19 am UTC (link)
At least a positive in the event she did snap was that this time Helena wouldn't be responsible for it. It wouldn't come about as the result of actions did and choices she'd made in the wake of Christina's death. This time, it would be Moriarty's fault for pushing her buttons. Or should she put the blame on Irene for not filtering that one conversation? Though at the same time, she couldn't exactly put all the blame on Irene. After all, Helena could have filtered her own comments, but she'd been more upset and freaked out at having been turned into a bloody cat so she hadn't even thought about filtering. So knowing all that, she couldn't completely blame Irene.

And really, she did believe that Irene would be there for her. While Myka might try to keep Irene away from her, Helena would be steadfast in allowing Irene to help her if she wished to. Because really, Helena had been there for Irene when she'd needed someone. Okay so for part of that time it had been the future Irene, the one that had become a victim to Moriarty's cruelty. But even without that, she had a deep affinity for the woman, one that she couldn't even properly describe. It was just there, and while perhaps she should be more wary than she was, Helena was wanting to believe in the goodness in people. And she seemed to bring it out of Irene, or at least that's what she had so far experienced.

Yet at the same time, she knew the only person who truly knew her, who could pull her back from the edge was Myka. Of that she had no illusions on. Myka always managed to get through to her, and she needed the agent there with her now. Otherwise she knew there would be no way she'd make it out of this intact. Or alive.

Helena truly had no idea what a normal life consisted of. Yes, she'd had one once, before she was recruited to Warehouse 12. Of the one hundred and forty-five years she'd existed, only twenty-two of them were spent as a normal person. And even then, she had broken all the social norms for women, almost to the point of her mother disowning her. But even with everything she'd been through, she just wanted to live, to have a chance to be alive and just not have to deal with being Bronzed or being a hologram and just...living the life she should have had. But what such a thing meant, she didn't even know right now. She just wanted a life that wouldn't break her very soul at every turn she came to.

When Myka squeezed her hand, she looked over at her, a soft little smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. She squeezed Myka's hand back. "And for that I'm grateful. Without you, I would not be able to make it through this." And in that moment, the look in her eyes and even her body language showed every single day of her one hundred and forty-five years. In that moment, she truly felt old and tired, something she had never shown before. But right now, all of her defenses were down, and she was rather an open book, even moreso than she usually was to Myka.

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[info]ilikepuzzles
2012-04-22 04:22 pm UTC (link)
As much as Myka disliked Irene, she wasn't going to say the other woman wasn't allowed near Helena. It wasn't her place to make such demands or put such limitations on someone. As much as she disliked her, she was still Helena's lover and while she thought it was a stupid idea and dangerous, and even if she blamed Irene for this because she didn't think to filter in the first place that one time, it was Helena's decision. She wasn't going to monitor every single thing the other woman did. Because that meant she didn't trust Helena and strangely enough, despite what happened with the trident, the attempted ice age, she did trust Helena. Knew she wanted to live an actual life and she had that chance here.

Returning the smile, Myka just gave a small nod.

"Well, I don't know where else I would be."

For the first time, Myka was thankful the Seal pulled her through. She'd been thankful for the chance to see Helena of course, to be able to be near her again, but she still wanted to wake up. She wanted to be home and to find out that the Warehouse hadn't exploded. That all that had happened with Sykes was a horrible dream. Or that Artie had some way to change it. He had escaped death before with an artifact. Perhaps, just perhaps, he would surprise them again and find a way to preserve the Warehouse. To bring Helena back and let her have the life she wanted.

Those were foolish thoughts, of course. How could that be possible? There were artifacts that could do astounding things, but what would the cost be for such a thing? She knew that every artifact had a negative part to it. What cost would they pay to bring back the Warehouse and Helena if it were even possible?

So for now, she'd be thankful that she was here, with Helena, and able to help her. She was still frustrated that she was given no leads on what to do with herself here but she would figure it out. She always did. She just... needed to take it one day at a time.

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[info]ismellapples
2012-04-23 04:56 am UTC (link)
Speaking of Irene, she knew she really needed to talk to her about all of this. Helena also needed to tell her some things about herself that Moriarty would undoubtedly use against them. She didn't want her lover to be blindsided by it. Still, Helena was having a hard time wrapping her mind around the fact that she was a fictional character. But knowing her story was out there and easily accessible by anyone, she needed Irene to know. But more than that, she needed Irene to better understand her. Explaining things was the difficult part. It was truly refreshing to have Myka who could read what she was thinking with a look. But this new relationship with Irene, the two women were still learning about the other. It would be hard to explain some of her past, but Helena would do it. She couldn't start hiding things now. Hiding things would only lead her to disaster, and this was supposed to be a chance at a new life.

"In the library with a book, no doubt," she commented with a very faint smirk. She was trying for humor to diffuse the storm of emotions she had within her. To distract her from dwelling on the possibilities of what could happen now.

But even as she attempted to redirect her thoughts to ones of humor, she couldn't help but wonder if she would fall again. It was entirely possible that she would end up dead in this. After all, what better way to upset Irene than to take away the one she cared about? And really, Helena didn't want to die, not like this. She'd had enough of that, and she really wanted the chance to live. She wanted to try and write a happy ending to her tragic and misguided life. She doubted she'd get the so-called fairytale ending after the life she'd led, but she wanted a better ending than being a victim of a serial killer.

But truthfully, could she give her life a better ending than the one she'd written in her own world? She gave herself a noble death, sacrificing herself to save her friends, to save the woman she loved. And yet the Seal decided she should be given life again. To do what? To die again? To find happiness with Irene? To heal her wounds as best as she could and let go of what she'd been through? It certainly couldn't be as cruel as to dangle those possibilities in front of her only to let her die at the hands of Moriarty.

H. G. Wells was not going down today or any day. She was going to live. Despite being tired, despite the emotional storm she had within her, right then and there she made the choice that she was going to live.

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