Speaking of Irene, she knew she really needed to talk to her about all of this. Helena also needed to tell her some things about herself that Moriarty would undoubtedly use against them. She didn't want her lover to be blindsided by it. Still, Helena was having a hard time wrapping her mind around the fact that she was a fictional character. But knowing her story was out there and easily accessible by anyone, she needed Irene to know. But more than that, she needed Irene to better understand her. Explaining things was the difficult part. It was truly refreshing to have Myka who could read what she was thinking with a look. But this new relationship with Irene, the two women were still learning about the other. It would be hard to explain some of her past, but Helena would do it. She couldn't start hiding things now. Hiding things would only lead her to disaster, and this was supposed to be a chance at a new life.
"In the library with a book, no doubt," she commented with a very faint smirk. She was trying for humor to diffuse the storm of emotions she had within her. To distract her from dwelling on the possibilities of what could happen now.
But even as she attempted to redirect her thoughts to ones of humor, she couldn't help but wonder if she would fall again. It was entirely possible that she would end up dead in this. After all, what better way to upset Irene than to take away the one she cared about? And really, Helena didn't want to die, not like this. She'd had enough of that, and she really wanted the chance to live. She wanted to try and write a happy ending to her tragic and misguided life. She doubted she'd get the so-called fairytale ending after the life she'd led, but she wanted a better ending than being a victim of a serial killer.
But truthfully, could she give her life a better ending than the one she'd written in her own world? She gave herself a noble death, sacrificing herself to save her friends, to save the woman she loved. And yet the Seal decided she should be given life again. To do what? To die again? To find happiness with Irene? To heal her wounds as best as she could and let go of what she'd been through? It certainly couldn't be as cruel as to dangle those possibilities in front of her only to let her die at the hands of Moriarty.
H. G. Wells was not going down today or any day. She was going to live. Despite being tired, despite the emotional storm she had within her, right then and there she made the choice that she was going to live.