It would be a complete miracle if Helena managed to get through this without snapping, without losing control. But she had to prepare herself for the very real possibility that she would face that part of herself once again. Helena didn't want to go through that again, but she knew it could happen. She just didn't know if she'd be able to come back from it once again. Right now, she was far too raw, too lost within herself because of all the changes she'd been through.
But this is where Irene, Myka and Claudia came in. Having the three of them there for her, she knew she had a good chance to come back from that. Though at least this time there were no Regents to rip her consciousness out of herself and store it on the Janus Coin because that was a better solution than simply Bronzing her. At the thought, she involuntarily rolled her eyes. Oh she understood that the Regents had still wanted access to her if they needed it, but how was it better to turn her into a hologram? Oh she was bitter, if only because she felt that the Janus Coin had been a fate worse than Bronzing. And really, Helena hadn't thought anything could be worse than sitting in the Bronze Sector immobile but completely conscious for a century.
"After this, I strongly request that the psychopaths focus their sights on someone else for a while." Helena took a sip of her tea and sighed heavily. "I am so tired of this." It was a statement that carried more meaning than most would think. She was tired of being hunted. She was tired of being a pawn in a psychopath's game. She was tired of drastic changes in her life. She was even a bit tired of her life. It was more than difficult to try and put herself back together when her life would suddenly change course and then she'd have to adjust. Helena was just tired in general. It wouldn't stop her trying to fight her way back to herself, but it would make it infinitely harder to get there.