So she had guessed right in why he'd chosen poison. And of course he would have let Alema take the fall for it because of the manner of her death. But Mara needed to hear this, as difficult as it was. She knew Jacen wasn't lying to her now, for which she was grateful. Mara had had more than enough of lies being told to her. And the truth was certainly refreshing, at the very least. It meant that she could then accept everything that had happened and try to move on. No, she had to move on from this. If she didn't, then what good would she be in this new life some Seal had decided to give her? Nodding to Jacen's explanation, not feeling the need to respond to that particular subject. All that remained was to accept it and move on.
The topic of Ben was, however, a harder one for her to hear. After realizing that Jacen had fallen, she had second guessed herself, wondering if it had been wise to allow Jacen to teach Ben. But what was done was done now, wasn't it? There was no going back. "And some will go to any lengths necessary to keep their secrets hidden." It was a fact she knew and, to some degree, understood. While she herself had never been one to keep her own past a secret, she had been an assassin and espionage expert long enough to know some people would do whatever it took to protect their secrets. Mara just had never expected her nephew to go to the lengths he had to protect his. But that was the thing about falling, feeling that you were doing the right thing. Not that Mara had ever fallen herself, she'd been raised only knowing the dark side, but she knew the allure of the dark side well enough.
There was a part of her that wanted nothing more than to kill Jacen. Kill him for what he had done to her, to her son. But the better part of her knew it would be a kill made in anger. That was a road she would not walk, nor was she even sure she could take her nephew's life. Not after he stood there, obviously not as dark as he had been on Kavan. There was a hope, she could see it. Did she wish things had been different in their world? Of course. But here, perhaps things could be different. Mara well knew the meaning of second chances, of being given an opportunity to be different, to be better. Perhaps Jacen would never be a Jedi again, but he could perhaps be her nephew again. And if Darth Caedus ever made a return, she would be there to stop him.
After she managed to calm herself enough, she listened to Jacen, doing everything in her power to keep herself from falling apart right then and there. She wanted to cry, to scream, to just break under the weight of having died and brought back to life. To break from the weight of everything Jacen was telling her. But she wouldn't. She couldn't. Perhaps when she was back at Jaina's and had a moment alone, she would, but not now. She put on her brave face and kept as much of a calm demeanor as she could. "Was I Sith? No, I wasn't. I was a Hand. Vader was the Sith." Though she was rather glad she had never been Palpatine's apprentice in that manner. Who knows what course her life would have taken had she ever taken Vader's place. At the question of trying to find something redeeming, Mara looked at Jacen. "I am because as much as I hate what happened, as much as I hate Darth Caedus, you are still my nephew and I am standing here now for a reason. I do not want to spend this time consumed by hate. And I want to believe in you again. Perhaps that sounds strange coming from me, especially now, but I will not hold onto the hate. I can't hold onto it." It would, of course, be easier said than done, but she would strive to work towards it.