The darkness would always be there and he would always have to fight it. It was almost a comfort to hear it. Ironically it wasn't entirely true, there had been a time, in the few memories he had of his time in that place he could only call damnation that he'd been Jacen again. Jacen as before, without the anger. But with the seal pulling him from that place to here and restoring his life it had restored the anger with it. And he had not had the decades of control over it that his aunt possessed. No, he had to take the long way around. Maybe Mara could be an example. If he had any right at all to think of her being here that way. The rest of the family could say blessing but for Jacen, her presence was a lesson. "I remember well how you fought on Kavan and part of me wonders sometimes if you might not have bested me if not for the dart. I mean, I had skills you didn't expect but then you went for the old tricks and I find I couldn't tell for sure. My predictions were off. You'd thrown me off my game. But in the end, I had to. I just had to."
He said nothing of his own family. He'd made the point and Mara was now focused entirely on her own family. Those boys she'd left behind. Husband and son both. And of course she wanted to know their fate. Ben's fate.
The punch was expected. And just as sore as he'd remembered her attacks being much as pain meant something so different to him now. But he winced all the same because of the emotion behind the punch. It was entirely deserved. He had done that to Ben after all. "Yes I altered them, even before I began my training. He couldn't know. I'd done it once before, just once when he discovered Allana was mine. It was so easy, just a simple act with the strength of power I have at my disposal. I'd done it once, could I not do it again, just the same to save him knowing of Nelani's fate? Such an easy thing, I said, won't harm him. Do you know part of me used to believe Jaina was right in something she said once, she said she thought a part of me died in the Embrace of Pain and what was left was different. But another part of me looked at Tenel Ka and Allana and knows that can't be true because it wasn't until after that we were a family. The Embrace changes you yes, but destroys you...no"
And why was he mentioning this?
"After your death he did everything he could to find your killer, and all evidence pointed to Alema Rar so, well I let it. I stood by them at your funeral as it happens. No one was pleased, I'd tried to have Mom and Dad arrested, it seemed a convenient time. I wasn't planning to be there but Tenel Ka had asked me to make my amends with Luke and for her support I had no choice. I'd have stayed away but...well you know that part don't you, some part of you remembers. Anyway Ben, I suppose he began to suspect. I don't know all the details. What I do know is, he acted like a GAG officer, followed the evidence trail, followed it all the way back to me but he didn't let me know. Oh he asked me outright and I denied it and Ben...he played it so well, he did what he had to do, Omas died...more at his own hand than Ben's but it fooled me. And then I took him back into training. I'd turned my hand to Tahiri by then...that I won't go into now. But I had decided Ben wasn't ruthless like Tahiri was becoming. He would never be worthy to kill me and take my place. But I have to admit now, looking back, he got there, he actually waited, played the apprentice. It finally worked helped me attack Kashyyk more viciously. Until he took his moment to strike and tried to kill me. Failed of course. He wasn't lucky enough, maybe someday he would have been but..."
Closer to the line between Jacen and Caedus than he'd have liked he stepped back. Taking a couple of moments to focus himself, find the ever dimming twin bond with Jaina and find his wife and daughter in the Force. Mara deserved all of the truth.