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Svetlana Sergievskaya causes lyrical chess wars (thegirlisme) wrote in wariscoming, @ 2012-02-09 13:45:00

Who: Logan and Svetlana Sergievsky plus NPC!Children at the end
What: The art of miscommunication and selective obliviousness
When: Afternoon, 9 February 2012
Where: Streets of Downtown Lawrence.
Warnings: Nothing worth mentioning. Unless you find Logan falling for married women and then being turned down as a hobby offensive?


It seemed that more and more often, Svetlana had a tendency to stay out after dropping the girls off at school. Mostly she just started to go stir crazy in the complex all the time because of all the threats that had shown up at once. Before, it was a means to get away from Anatoly at times, but at the moment, the two of them were doing relatively well. Nothing had really happened to upset the balance of their personal affairs and for that the blond was thankful. It had taken months before they had recovered the alternate reality incident, they really didn’t need help from the Seal in making their lives difficult when they already had so much to overcome in regards to the man Anatoly had become after Molokov had entered their lives. Now though, it was just a desire for tea and getting some fresh air before things once again got out of hand, before some new drama entered the lives of the displaced now that the venom situation seemed to be currently taken care of. In some ways, it was as if she never left Moscow. There were always things that needed to be watched out for, one always had to be on their guard. It was just different reasoning.

There was still a lot about Western culture that Svetlana did not understand. She could read up on it, hear people talk about it, yet there would still be things that just didn’t make sense. One such thing was Valentine’s Day. Apparently they had it in Russia now, but from when she was from? They didn’t. And the idea that people tried to put all the romance into one day was just strange. If two people loved one another, they shouldn’t be regulated to a day to have to be romantic. It seemed too fixed, unnatural. If she and Anatoly would do something, she wasn’t certain as they both had the same view on the matter. That and she was still trying to get used to him being around in that capacity. Their ten year wedding anniversary had been strange. True that was because it had been a week or so following the alternate reality issue as well as Freddie’s surprise proposal to Florence on that day which made it more awkward, still, it had been strange.

Perhaps something would be done, perhaps not. Truthfully, Svetlana didn’t mind one way or the other. She had some ideas on if they decided to perpetuate the need for romance on a single day, but she still had yet to determine that. So for now, it was walking in the down town area of Lawrence having gotten herself some tea and watching people fret about Valentine’s Day, worrying about whatever their partner had planned or their own plans, bemoaning being single and other such things.

Yes. Westerners were definitely different.

Logan was finding it harder and harder to find things to occupy his time with. Yes, going to bars in the seedier parts of town for drinks and fights was fun, but now, most of the regulars knew of him and the bars would no longer be rowdy. It was aggravating at times when he really wanted a decent fight. But, it wasn’t like he could force a fight. People in this world didn’t know about mutants and he had to make sure that it stayed that way.

At least he had sparring with different partners to keep himself occupied. And the patrols he did at night making sure no one was out causing trouble.

But, as it was day and he wasn’t in the mood for a drink (yet), Logan had decided to wander the town of Lawrence and see what all was going on. He was also trying to find a way to ask Svetlana out for Valentine’s Day or at the very least, get her something. But she played things close to the chest and he wasn’t sure what all she was in to. He liked the mystery though. It gave him a new challenge to overcome. And he was determined to overcome it.

As he walked, he caught the familiar scent of his favorite Russian woman and grinned some. Spotting her was easy after that and he sauntered over to her.

“Svetlana,” he greeted with a warm smile.

It was true, Svetlana kept most things to herself. She was getting better at the opening up bit, though. She still didn’t discuss things deeply with others beyond Anatoly, but Darcy had said if she needed to, she could go to the other woman. It was just getting used to that idea, as well as still being fairly certain that Darcy was slightly uncomfortable around her. Something was going on but Svetlana didn’t want to dwell on it because then she’d question her friendship with the other woman and given her track record with friends back in Moscow? Svetlana was going to ignore it unless it got to be too obvious and too much to handle.

Having a shop owner ask her if she had plans for Valentine’s Day, Svetlana just shook her head with a slight smile, resisting the urge to roll her eyes when she was told a ‘pretty thing’ like her could easily get a date. Shaking her head slightly at the obsession of dates for Valentine’s Day, the petite blond continued on her walk until she noticed Logan in front of her. Now, while she normally was good at figuring things out and being observant, this particular issue was completely lost on Svetlana. Mostly because she thought it was obvious that she was married (she did have a wedding ring she always wore, as did Anatoly and the two lived together with the girls) and that Logan would respect that as in her experience, it was just women who didn’t respect such things. And as she didn’t make it a habit of watching things other people were from, she didn’t realize that this seemed to be a habit of his.

Instead, Svetlana just gave a small smile.

“Hello, Logan.”

“How are things going?” He stepped to the side so as to not be blocking her path. There was nothing wrong with walking and talking. And it was a fairly nice day out as far as winter days went, so there was nothing wrong with a bit of a walk. Besides, they were friends. Friends often wandered aimlessly, didn’t they?

Oh Logan knew Svetlana wore a wedding ring, had two kids and lived with another man. But that didn’t mean anything. And given said other man came across as, well, not straight? Logan was certain that Svetlana was just wearing the ring to put off annoying suitors and to help her friend out so as to seem normal. Logan knew how it felt to be different and he admired Svetlana’s willingness to help her gay friend seem normal. Not everyone would do such a thing for a friend. It took a brave person to do something like that.

But for now, Logan would wait for his answer to his first question and then would ask if Svetlana had any plans on Valentine’s Day. Oh he was well aware that Russia in her time had no such day. So he wouldn’t make a big thing of it. Just treat it like a normal day. She might appreciate that.

While it was indeed true that she and Anatoly were different here, the way Logan thought her husband to be different was so far from the truth. But neither of the Russians were ones to discuss their private lives in public. There was no need to, really. True, their marriage had its problems at the moment, it was far from what it had been five years ago, before Molokov. But they both knew that pride could have interfered in some other, perhaps not as badly, but that didn’t matter now. What mattered was fixing their relationship and family and it seemed as though they were on their way to doing so. Once they discussed the things they were still avoiding discussing. All in due time, though. First they had to rebuild the foundation where talking about things like that could be done.

At the question, Svetlana sipped her tea before brushing some hair out of her face.

“Things are going well. You?”

Slight lie, but Svetlana really didn’t discuss her emotions that often with anyone. She was making progress, she even had been honest with Darcy that she had both good and bad days in regards to her PTSD, but one, Darcy had seen a minor freak out in regards to that, and she had known Darcy longer and while Svetlana did indeed like Logan and didn’t mind his company, it took time to build up to a level of trust where she would discuss things of that nature. And even then, she still didn’t go into the details with Darcy. That aside, in that exact moment, Svetlana was doing all right. There were things that had happened that upset her severely such as the death of the mother in Kentucky because she had unknowingly led to her murder by discussing a television show, she was worrying about the girls, but all things considered, it wasn’t that much of a slight lie.

Logan nodded. Something in her stance, maybe her voice inflection, something, had him feeling it wasn’t the whole truth but Svetlana could keep whatever she wanted hidden. He didn’t particularly care. Prying into her personal life wasn’t what friends did unless their life was in danger. And Svetlana’s life was not in danger. So, he let the half truth slide and gave a shrug at her turning the question back on him.

“Trying to keep myself busy.” He doubted Svetlana would approve of what he did for fun. And he really didn’t want her knowing about his darker side that had no problem with killing. He saw that part of him as a monster at times. He had seen it in his victims eyes. Hell, he’d seen it in that Drake kid’s eyes when he had killed those soldiers storming the mansion. Oh, Logan knew that side of him was a part of him. But he didn’t want Svetlana to be scared of him. He doubted she would be, but best to be safe than sorry. At least for now.

“This town is kinda borin’ for a guy like me honestly,” he added. “Back home, in my world, we got a room that can simulate any combat scenario. I usually spend time in there blowing off steam or in a garage working on a motorcycle. Here, I got neither. It’s...frustrating.” Saying that he wanted to rip off arms of people probably wouldn’t win him points with Svetlana. He really needed to work on his anger issues.

It really wouldn’t win him any points whatsoever. Svetlana really was not one for violence. Beyond the few times where she’d been so worked up she’d slapped someone, or the one time when she had beat on Anatoly weakly while sick following the watching of Chess? It wasn’t her thing and she didn’t understand the need for it. She didn’t understand why people were so quick to jump into physical altercations, though she supposed it had something to do with everyones emphasis on the physical nature of things. Still, it was rather sad in her opinion.

“Understandable.” It was, in it’s own way. While Svetlana really did not like violence at all, and did not exactly understand the necessity of it, she could at least understand the whole sentiment of not being able to spend time the way one normally did while here. Thankfully Svetlana didn’t have that option as chess was more or less universal, but she still did understand just the whole aspect of different worlds and not being able to settle in the long run because of the differences.

“I am certain you will find a way to adapt. Truthfully, it has been relatively quiet for here... mass killing clowns aside.”

Did Svetlana think Logan would find a way to adapt? Of course she did. Everyone did here, or they went mad. So believe he’d be able to adapt and such was a good thing. She hoped he would, at least.

“It’s the quiet I’m not use to. Even if we weren’t trying to save the world and humans from Magneto and his beliefs that humans would put us in camps like they did back in World War II with the Jews, there was always the anti-mutant rallies and constant hatred we had to endure.”

And it was true. Things in his world didn’t stay quiet for long. Still, this wasn’t his world and he’d need to get use to the quiet when it came. “I keep hoping one day I’ll find a motorcycle or two to work on and fix up.” He shrugged and shoved his hands in his pockets. “So, did you maybe want to grab a drink or something on the fourteenth?” He spoke nonchalantly, as if Valentine’s Day was any other normal day. Truthfully, it had always just been another day for him. And with Jean taken, he didn’t have to worry about dates or such things for Valentine’s Day. Though now she was dead. Dead by his hand. He clenches his fists and it was only sheer practice that kept his claws from coming out with his muscles tightening like they were. He didn’t want to ruin his favorite jacket in this world.

“It makes sense.” And it did. Just as Svetlana was used to always looking over her shoulder back in Moscow. It didn’t matter that she had been in Lawrence for eight months or so, it was still strange to not have to worry about the KGB all over the place. Oh, she still worried about Molokov, she still saw him every corner she turned. Lurking. But he had yet to do anything to warrant her full paranoia. Here, she didn’t have to worry about that. Demons and whatever crazy the Seal brought? Yes. Government spies who destroyed your life? Not so much. At least right now. Once Molokov gathered his power and strong hold, she was certain he would show up on the boards and ruin everything so she’d always worry on that. But the KGB as a whole? Not so much.

And then there was the question about getting a drink on the fourteenth. While he had taken her to get a drink once in order to thank her for showing him around, that was a very specific request. Especially given the Valentine’s Day thing. So she merely just quirked a brow at him.

“That seems a rather specific day...”

He wasn’t asking her out, was he? Because if he did, that just ruined her theory on men being more upstanding than women. Not that Anatoly was the picture of upstanding, or Freddie, but her experience still tended towards men being more upstanding than women. Though.. no one cared in the end about other people so maybe it was all her deluding herself

“Why? Are you asking me on a date...?”

Oh, she could put two and two together. When it was obvious in this case. Then again, she hadn’t actively been pursued by anyone in thirteen years. There were the random guys who tried to flirt with her that she shot down, but nothing like this. And given that had been back in the sixties in the USSR? Things were definitely different.

Logan really needed to work on his word choices. Usually he just let his actions speak for him but with sharp people like Svetlana, he needed to work on the verbal aspect of things. He should really have known Svetlana would have figured it out. No matter. At least it was an open discussion now. He just needed to make sure that Svetlana knew he cared about her and would be the man she wanted and needed. He would change for her. Jean? Not so much. But Svetlana was so much more, at least in Logan’s eyes.

“Well...I suppose I am. I mean, I like you, you seem to like me.” He shifted in front of her and looked at her. “We have a lot in common in being outsiders after all. I really don’t see the problem.” And with those words, he leaned in and kissed her gently.

This was not good. Because Svetlana did like Logan. He wasn’t one of the jerks she used to go on one date with to shut them up and then involve her brothers to scare them off. And as she liked him, she didn’t feel comfortable just shooting him down. It wasn’t like he had done anything to warrant it. He wasn’t using ridiculous pick up lines, or being a jerk. He was just... so sadly mistaken. But before she could try to let him down, he was kissing her. It wasn’t forced or rough, but it was enough to startle her and her mind quickly went back to Russia or the alley before she forced herself to not have a panic attack during this situation.

Not returning the kiss and instead stepping away from Logan to end it, she looked at him in confusion.

“What?” Really, Svetlana was just confused on this entire situation. She hadn’t hidden the fact that she was married. She might not have exclaimed it loudly from the rooftops or anything, but it had never come up. Add in wearing a wedding ring that matched Anatoly’s? It should be pretty straight forward. Of course, she didn’t realize that Logan had a very strange theory on why that was so she was wondering just why he had kissed her and seemed to think there was no problem in doing so after asking her out. Was it customary in the West to kiss someone after asking them out before getting an answer?

“While I do like you, it is not like that. I am married, you know this...”

That...was not the reaction he had been expecting. He blinked, a bit confused as to why she hadn’t bothered in returning the kiss. Then he heard her reasoning. “Wait... you’re... how... but... that guy’s gay.” Logan didn’t have anything against gays. Far from it. But to not go out with him because of a facade? He ran his hands through his hair.

This couldn’t be happening. Not again. Bad enough that he had fallen for Jean when she was taken. But to be falling for Svetlana and her being taken? No, this had to be a mix up. She was just confused, that had to be it. It needed to be it...

“Look, you don’t have to lie to me. I get he’s gay and your helping out by seeming normal. But you deserve happiness too. And I get why you wear the wedding ring, it’s to keep the idiots and assholes away and to not bother you so much.”

And now all Svetlana could do was just stare at Logan in shock. Did he really believe that she would just wear a wedding ring to keep people away? She didn’t know whether to be amused or insulted by that.

“No.. I wear a wedding ring because I am married. It has nothing to do with keeping people from bothering me...” Really, she was quite good at deflecting idiots for the most part. Usually she just had issue when there were more than one at a time. Or she was being blackmailed. But that wasn’t the common rule of how things went so she saw those more as anomalies.

Then the comment about Anatoly finally registered in her mind.

“Wait. You think Anatoly is gay?” Quirking a brow, all she could do was shake her head. It wasn’t that she had issue either, Svetlana was fairly certain that Erik had been gay. But to assume Anatoly was gay?

“Is there any particular reason you think this? Because I can assure you, he is not gay...” Svetlana had it on very good authority that he wasn’t gay. That would have been easier to handle in his infidelities if that had been the case. Oh, it would have hurt, but still.

Logan needed a strong drink. And once more wished that he could get drunk. Sometimes he hated his abilities. But if Svetlana was telling the truth, and from all indications he could see and smell she was, then she really was married. He somehow managed to keep his face schooled to avoid showing his reaction to the news.

“Well, he’s...I mean...” Okay, if Anatoly wasn’t gay and truly was Svetlana’s husband, he didn’t want to directly insult him in front of Svetlana. “He’s not exactly like a normal average guy. That intimidation he tried to do at that cafe was sadly pathetic. I wasn’t spying or nothing, just passing by when I saw that. And I mean really, what grown man who isn’t gay plays chess?”

Well, she had asked for his reasoning. And he had done his best to lay it out in the best of terms he could. At least he hoped he had.

And he was being a typical male. Of course. Really, it was upsetting to be honest. All focus on intimidation and physical stature. Just because Anatoly wasn’t all that intimidating shouldn’t determine his sexual orientation. Still, she did just let him say what he wanted. She had indeed asked for his reasoning so she might as well give him the chance to say what it was. The fact that he had seen the interaction at the cafe was a bit unnerving, though it was also possible that he had just been passing through.

“Just because he is not exactly intimidating does not mean he is gay....” Honestly. Sighing in slight frustration, Svetlana ran her fingers through her hair. “Though please, make the comment about chess somewhere so Freddie can see it.” Because well, she knew plenty of people who were straight that played chess. And for once it wouldn’t be something she said that riled Freddie up into a fight.

“I am sorry if you thought I was available, but I am not....” Right, being nice because she did at least like Logan as a friend and so wasn’t about to go crushing his dreams and other such things as that.

Logan knew that just because Anatoly wasn’t intimidating didn’t mean he was gay. He knew plenty of people, human and mutant alike, who weren’t intimidating and not gay. But for whatever reason, that’s how Anatoly came across to him. As Svetlana spoke, Logan kept his face neutral of emotion, relying on his years of being on the run and searching for clues as to who he was.

Hearing her apologize, he gave as best of an uncaring shrug as he could. “You got nothing to be sorry for Svetlana. I was an idiot...” And ignored all the signs...again.

But something occurred to Logan. He could try to win Svetlana. Oh sure he’d need to find out more about what kind of man Anatoly was, but he could win her heart. He would find a way to do it. And like he had told himself before, he would change for her. He shifted some.

“Sorry ‘bout the kiss. I just...well...you struck me as the kind of woman who wasn’t keen on settling down so permanently.”

It was definitely a good thing that Svetlana had no idea that he was planning on trying to find a way to win her heart because the fact remained, Anatoly had her heart and always would. Despite the distance, the cheating, he was the one who made her complete, the one who knew everything about her yet had so much to learn. The one who made her want to feel emotions and not always guard herself. He was the one that made her believe. And to try and break up a family? Well, that wasn’t okay in Svetlana’s book.

Still, she was unaware of that, even though she could tell that Logan was upset. He may keep his features schooled, but Svetlana did that all the time. She knew the signs to look for, she knew how to read those who were normally closed off. So she instead just gave a small nod when he said that she had nothing to apologize for.

And then the comment about the kiss and not seeming the type to settle down permanently. She wasn’t really certain on how she should take that, so she just quirked a brow.

“You misread the signs. It is fine.”

Even though it wasn’t. Not really. Maybe some people liked being kissed without warning, before they made a decision. But Svetlana wasn’t one of them. She wasn’t certain why she didn’t seem the type to settle down, she was. She might not trust easily but that didn’t mean she hadn’t wanted a family. She just never thought she’d trust someone enough to start one until she had met Anatoly.

Logan nodded some. “Well...whenever you feel like grabbing a drink with a friend or something, I’m up for it.” He knew he would need to find out more about Svetlana. About her world. And it probably meant he’d have to go on the computer for research. Something he wasn’t particularly good at. No matter. If it meant having a chance at happiness with Svetlana, he’d try it.

But a small voice in the back of his mind told him that he should just let it go, accept that Svetlana was married and had a family. But he was stubborn. He was going to try. Hell, he had tried with Jean but she had chosen Scott. He banished the memories of her from his mind. The last thing he needed was remembering how it felt to hold her limp body in his arms. Yes, it had hurt killing Jean, but he wasn’t as devastated as he thought he would be. Perhaps he hadn’t truly loved her. Not like he had been falling for Svetlana.

“So...how are the girls doing?” he asked, changing the subject.

While Logan did indeed say they could still go and get drinks as friends, Svetlana didn’t know if she would. Mostly as bars were not really her scene to begin with. It had been fine the one time as he had wanted to thank her. Though if that was the real intent now was up to debate. But no matter. She would let it go. Logan had been mistaken and she would let it go. Because she did like him as a friend even if she disapproved of his ways of keeping entertained.

Thankfully though, the topic was changed and she could instead talk about something she knew more about and wouldn’t make her feel uncomfortable. Because talking about her relationship with Anatoly was indeed something that would be awkward and uncomfortable. She hid it from people, but it would still be something she didn’t want to discuss.

“The girls are well.”

Logan nodded. Even though he had only met the girls a few times, they had both gotten him wrapped around their fingers. Jelena because she was simply adorable and Fayina because, well not many people had the balls to go up to Logan and kick him. But Fayina had done just that well before they knew each other. Thus, she was more than all right in Logan’s book. Still, he did go out of his way to make sure she didn’t realize that he wasn’t exactly a nice guy. He doubted she’d like a killer hanging around her mother.

“That’s good. So, is Fayina still kicking people?” He couldn’t help the smile that made a corner of his mouth quirk up in a half grin. He really would like to train Fayina. He had a feeling that the discipline might help her learn some self control on when to kick people. That was his goal at least if Svetlana decided to let Fayina train. Or if Fayina told him to train her. Because if she asked, he probably would train her. True it would probably piss off Svetlana to do it behind her back, but self defense was a good thing. At least that’s what he’d say if he got caught.

“Currently, no. She only does so if she thinks that there is a threat and so far, no one has done anything to make her think as such.”

It was true. Fayina didn’t like people who she thought would hurt her family, physically, mentally, emotionally... She was just Fayina like that. So Logan was right in assuming she wouldn’t like a killer around her family. Even before she had gotten shot and killed, she didn’t like people hurting her family because they did it before in Russia.

As for the training thing, Svetlana wasn’t certain still. She knew that self defense was important and she wanted her daughter to be able to defend herself, but given what she knew about how Logan spent his free time at random? She was worried that Fayina would think that randomly picking fights was a good thing. She was a sponge, she picked up on more than training. She picked up on feelings and insinuations. So if Logan liked fighting for fun? She’d pick it up, think it okay and do the same.

Logan nodded some. At least there were no threats. That was a good thing. “The offer I made about training her still stands.” True he didn’t know about Fayina’s habit of picking up more than what was taught. “You too,” he added, looking at her. Hell, Logan would train Svetlana so she could train Fayina if need be. At least he would think that when he found out the reason a no was given on his offer.

“I know my...extracurricular activities aren’t exactly child friendly, but I can change those while training her if need be. Or something.” He shrugged a little and resisted the urge to pull out one of his cigars and light it up. One, Svetlana didn’t like it. Two, he didn’t exactly have a clipper to nip the end of the cigar to light it up. And he doubted popping his claws out in the middle of the street would be wise. Three, Svetlana didn’t have his ability of self healing and not having to worry about cancer. It was one of the reasons he didn’t smoke as much in his apartment just in case he came across Svetlana and the girls in the complex. No sense in smelling like cigar smoke all the time.

Svetlana was thankful for the fact that Logan didn’t smoke as often with her and the girls around. It was nice being able to actually breathe and not worry about slow death. No matter though, there was the issue of his less than child friendly extra curricular activities. She knew her daughter would pick up on it no matter what. Which was a main reason she was worried.

“I know, she has been asking about it. I just worry she will decide to follow your lead in fighting. You do not need to mention things, she will still pick up on it.”

Because it seemed if you were Russian, you were crazy observant. At least Svetlana and Fayina were. Anatoly was also very good at observing. And Jelena was a five year old who had the attention span of a goldfish and thus wasn’t as good at observing. She had her moments though. She was very good at picking up on things no one would expect her to, though.

A brow was quirked at Svetlana’s mentioning of Fayina’s observing skills. Impressive for a kid her age. But he shrugged some at Svetlana’s words. “Fair enough I guess.” A bit disappointing. He liked Fayina and with some honing of her fighting skills she’d make one hell of a fighter. But given her age, she probably wouldn’t be defying her mother to ask him to train her.

Oh well. “Offer to train you still stands too. Anyways, what are your thoughts on Valentine’s Day? I know they don’t have it in the Russia you’re from. Personally, I’ve never paid it much heed. Never had to. Still don’t have to.” He shifted to the side so they could resume walking if she wanted.

Well, it was Fayina, she could decide to ask anyway, but she also didn’t want to upset Svetlana given her current stress levels so she probably wouldn’t. As such, the blond was thankful for that.

“We will still consider it, it is just something we need to take account of.” And then he mentioned the offer of training her as well. That was something Svetlana wasn’t certain about. Mostly as she wasn’t the type to fight. But she should probably know how to fight. It was the same thoughts she’d had when it was first mentioned. The question was, would she take up the offer.

“Thank you, I will consider it as well....”

And then the question on her views on Valentine’s Day. Well, this should be interesting. Though she did shoot him a side glance as they walked when he made the comment on still not needing to think about it. Passive aggressive? It didn’t seem his style but still, you just don’t there was no real reason to make that comment after just being turned down by the person you were talking to.

“It seems.... “ What was the word she wanted to use in this conversation? She hated this sometimes, but no matter, “Fake?” Shrugging as it seemed the best word at the moment, before explaining her reasoning.

“I do not understand the need to put such an emphasis on being romantic in just one day. While it may seem sweet, there is pressure when there should not be.”

Logan just nodded. Valentine’s Day and Sweetest Day both seemed far to commercial to be considered genuine. With all the chocolate and card companies cashing in on it and who knew how many other places of business? Yes, it was fake. You couldn’t confine love to a day.

“I know at the institute in my world a few of the kids talk about how when they were little they passed out those store bought card things to give to friends. Never saw why Valentine’s Day was made such a big deal of. Then again, I’m sorta like that with every holiday. It’s just another day on the calendar.”

That might sound bleak to some but Logan was a realistic guy. He really didn’t have the luxury of enjoying holidays since waking up in a science laboratory. Hell, he couldn’t even remember if had enjoyed holidays before his amnesia. No matter.

“They got another holiday like Valentine’s Day in October. Call it Sweetest Day or somethin’. People should just let the days be days and be romantic or whatever when the mood strikes ‘em.” Those were his views at least. But he figured a topic change was once again in order. Talking about romance with a married woman who wasn’t married to him was probably not an easy subject.

“So, you and the girls are safe with all the evil crazies running around?” They only had psychotic clowns, vampires, and an Irishman but still. It’d be nice if the crazies weren’t around but that would make things too simple.

Svetlana was confused about the Sweetest Day mention, mostly because she hadn’t heard about it even though she’d been in Lawrence in October. Of course, given she had been completely closed off at the time from everything that had taken place in Moscow and then in Lawrence with the girls dying and Anatoly being the wrong version of himself, it made sense that she might have missed any mentions of it. Or it was for a different part of the country or world. Really, there were plenty of reasons on why she had missed mention of it so she wasn’t going to dwell on it. The fact remained that there were a lot of manufactured holidays, at least, that was how it seemed to Svetlana given growing up in the Soviet Union.

“Most holidays seem to have lost their true meaning over the course of time it seems. Of course, we only had public holidays back in Russia so they seem over the top here to me.”

And then there was the topic change in regards to all the craziness that was going on. And it was time to maintain her perfectly poised reactions, showing nothing, not in voice, not in body language. After all, she was an Ice Queen, controlled by the KGB to ensure her family’s safety. She didn’t let people close. And while she knew that people would tell her that it wasn’t her fault about the pageant mother in Kentucky being killed, Svetlana still felt it was. Had she paid more attention to the boards and not gotten caught up in Fayina’s school project or Jelena wanting stories, perhaps she would have noticed the warnings about the extra filters. She had skimmed, seen names, but none of them had registered to her because the government managed to censor everything and if it wasn’t propaganda, if it was from the West, it was not exactly known. And being told after the news report that she should filter away from Moriarty? Well, it bothered her.

“Yes, we are safe.” It didn’t go unnoticed that he only referenced her and the girls and left out Anatoly, but she wasn’t going to push on it. Besides, they were safe, at least for now. There was always the worry of the unseen threat from October, the watching. Molokov lurking in the shadows, apparently Moriarty. But they were safe.

The only reason the mutant hadn’t mentioned Anatoly was because Svetlana seemed pretty certain he could fend for himself and didn’t need to be intimidating. Or something. At least that would be what he said if called on it. In truth, he didn’t really care about Anatoly. He was an obstacle in his quest for Svetlana’s heart. Still, he had an image to maintain.

And he noticed how calm and cool Svetlana looked. She could hide her body language, have perfect voice inflection, but she couldn’t mask her scent. Not without a ridiculous amount of perfume and other scents to confuse his nose. But as before, he didn’t call her on it.

“Glad you’re all safe. Listen, if you ever need someone to watch the girls or whatever else you need, don’t be a stranger. You all are the closest things I got to family here. So, if I can do anything to help, I want to.” There, that offer was in place. And it was all true. He’d do anything to keep the two girls safe. Svetlana too. And if he really had to, Anatoly. But only if he really had to.

There were so many things that could go wrong if he had made his comment on Anatoly had she called him on it. Just because Svetlana didn’t let pride control her did not mean she didn’t have it. She had managed to survive on her own while the world turned against her because her husband was too busy playing chess and sleeping around that she was left to fend off the wolves on her own. She had raised two daughters and maintain their innocence in that time. She had failed them here, had seen them die, but she was able to be there for them now. And yes, Anatoly as well. But she could fend for herself and she didn’t need someone insinuating that Anatoly didn’t need to be mentioned because he could fend for himself and she couldn’t. Nor that Anatoly would let anything happen to the three now that he was becoming human again and not the chess playing machine Molokov had turned him into.

Instead she just gave a small nod at the offer. She was thankful that people seemed willing to at least look after the girls given when she and Anatoly had first shown up, the only two people they knew had been Freddie and Florence, which meant that Freddie ended up watching them because Florence would just not be a good option in regards to Svetlana’s complex regarding the other woman. It was still strange to her, but it was at least nice to know so that she wasn’t having to rely on Brittany or Rei. So instead, Svetlana sipped her tea before responding.

“Thank you...” What else could she really say?

Logan fell silent, unsure of what to say next. He took in a deep breath through his nose and slowly let the breath out. He wrinkled his nose a bit at the smells of the city. True he didn’t mind them too much but he missed the smells of the forests in Canada. Rubbing his nose to keep from sneezing, he glanced at Svetlana.

“So, you mentioned you come from the Soviet Union. No pressure to answer, but what year are you from? I mean, I don’t know much about you and no matter what, you are probably one of the few if only people here I consider a friend. Or if you’re interested I could tell you what I remember about my life. Or both. Or somethin’.”

There. Maybe if he asked to know about Svetlana she’d tell him what she felt he should know and he wouldn’t have to feel all guilty about trying to pry into her life. Because he had a feeling such a thing wouldn’t end well if she found out. If. But for now he’d wait to hear what she decided to reveal to him or possibly ask him.

The silence was definitely awkward but no matter. Svetlana was sadly used to that, she just felt bad that it came because both she and Logan had been oblivious. Her on his feelings and him on the obvious signs of her being married. But it was too late for regrets in regards to that so all she could do was move forward and hope they worked past this small hitch and that things would go back to normal. Or normal for Lawrence. Still, they were both mature adults, this would pass. She hoped.

At the question on when she was from, Svetlana gave a moment of pause. Mostly she wasn’t the most forthcoming with information on herself, nor did she want to tip him off to Chess. That was too much privacy revealed to the public through song in her opinion. And it only covered two weeks or so in a year time frame. Nothing about what happened in that year, nothing about the past. Just... two chess tournaments and defection and heart break and blackmail.

“It is fine. I am from 1980.”

Really, it wasn’t that revealing. If he knew about world history, he would know that it was the height of the Cold War. Which would probably explain some things, but no matter. It didn’t go into her personal history, her relationship with Anatoly, her insecurities and complex about Florence or why she and Freddie had a strange understanding between the both of them that verged into friendship.

“If you wish to tell me what you remember, I do not mind, but it is up to you.” After all, it was his business, it was his place to tell or not.

1980. It didn’t say much about what specifically was going on but Logan could guess. He’d been alive then. Hell, that had been around the time he had done his European tour. Though the nearest he ever got into a communist area was West Germany. He had seen the Berlin Wall with his own eyes. So much hate and fear had gone into building that wall. Part of him could understand why Magneto did what he did.

“I’m sure you know that the USSR doesn’t stay such a distant cut off country.” He fell silent, mulling over what to tell Svetlana. Telling her he had killed wasn’t something he wanted to share. Not at least right now. That could come in time. For now, he needed to tell her something about himself. That was how trust was built. Sharing things between people and slowly learning how to trust.

“I have no idea who I really am or where I’m from. Let alone when I was born. I’ve looked like this since the ‘60s.” His eyes grew slightly distant as he remembered. “First memory I have is waking up in a science lab.” He rubbed his knuckles on his right hand. “It...wasn’t a pretty sight to wake up to...”

Svetlana gave a small nod at the comment about the USSR. She had read as such, but it still seemed so strange to her to know that they lost. That Western Culture could influx her home now and people wouldn’t be sent to a gulag or something similar. She wasn’t certain on how well they had progressed, but the fact that the wall came down? It was so strange to her despite being here thirty years in the future, twenty since the fall of Communism. At least there.

As silence once again fell, Svetlana sipped her tea, wondering if they would part ways or he would tell her things on his past. She understood the desire to keep things private so she really wouldn’t fault him one way or the other about not telling her, though he was the one who brought it up. But she wouldn’t push the matter. It wasn’t her nature unless she thought it absolutely for the well being of the person to push for information. But then he was talking about what he remembered and she remained silent, thoughtful.

“I see. I am sorry to hear that, I doubt it would be. Though just because you do not remember your past does not mean you do not know who you are. Your actions define who you are. Perhaps you were someone else before, but the person you are now, what you do now, that determines who you are.”

Logan felt a smile form on his face. “You sound a bit like my friend Ororo from home. She’s told me something similar...multiple times.” He brushed a hand through his hair and glanced at Svetlana. She clearly saw that he could be a good man if he tried to be one. So he would. No more going to bars to pick fights. That was the first step. Then perhaps that whole working on his anger bit. That would be good too.

“I’ve been trying recently to become a good person. Spent most of the time since waking up in that lab on the run from whoever did this to me and trying to find out who I am. In that time, the only place that’s felt even remotely familiar to me is Canada.” And it was true. Of the places he had visited, Canada had felt the most familiar. The most like he could call home. At least until the mansion. Now they needed him and he was no longer consumed with knowing who he was in the past.

“A while ago, I decided to stop chasing my past, to stop living in it and try to live in the now. Hasn’t been easy but I’ve been trying. But sometimes...the past has a way of coming up and biting you in the ass.”

Svetlana let Logan talk. It was his story to tell and sometimes it helped. Not really for her, at least, not usually, but that didn’t mean it couldn’t help others. And sometimes it helped her, she just had to trust someone enough to feel comfortable in talking about things. So instead, she remained silent. It seemed he had things to say, but it was nice to know that she wasn’t the only one who felt that way in regards to people being who they are based on actions and that he had others telling him the same.

“Understandable. It is instinct to seek out the familiar...” Which was all but impossible for some people here. At least she had chess to go to when things got to be too overwhelming. It was familiar and comforting. But what of those who were not from this planet? What did they have? Be someone human, or alien or mutant, that base instinct to find familiarity would always remain.

Then there was the comment about trying to live in the now and not holding onto the past. Well, that was definitely something she could respect. It was hard, he was right about that, but it was possible. If Svetlana allowed herself to dwell on the past, especially the past five years. She knew that she held onto the past before, it was why she hadn’t left Anatoly. And now she was thankful for that. But she also knew that it could be dangerous.

“It can, yes. You can learn from it, yes, but that does not mean you should dwell in it. You need to move forward.”

Was she moving forward in holding onto Anatoly? It was a tricky question. Because most would say she should let him go, but they needed one another in their own way. They helped one another when no one else could to grow. And neither of them were relying on the past. They knew they had to move on from it, to accept the changes and growth of the past five years, to work with it and learn so they could become a stronger unit. Right now it was just rebuilding the foundation.

Logan nodded in agreement with Svetlana. Xavier and the institute always pushed for people to learn from the past so they would not be doomed to repeat it. Especially with all that was going on in current events in his time and world. Still, it rang true for any world really. “It does mean one needs to move forward. Though sometimes good things can come from the past.” He was enjoying their walk. True it had been awkward at a few points (due to his unwillingness to see the truth right in front of him) but it seemed to be turning around. That was good.

“Finally have a chance of a future in my world. I plan to try to make the most of it if I go back there.” He stared up at the sky and smiled some. “Things are starting to finally look up in my world...” he closed his eyes and gave a bitter smile. “Though it wasn’t all happy and rainbows...we had to fight off an army that had come to kill a single boy just because his powers could cancel out mutant abilities. We did so but...we...I....” he fell silent, the pain clear in his eyes. How could he tell Svetlana he had been forced to kill a woman he had fallen for?

“Yes, there are good things that can come from the past. The trick is not letting those good things hold you back. Or the bad.” Because people could dwell on the past, the bad things, and never allow themselves to move forward. Or then there were people like Svetlana who would ignore what happened to her so as not to dwell on it and try to push herself forward only to have break downs from PTSD at random intervals. Thankfully that only happened around Anatoly and the one time around Darcy.

Hearing Logan repeat himself about things looking up in his world, Svetlana looked over to him curiously.

“Sometimes the path to a better future is paved with pain... if you wish to talk about it, I will listen, if not, it is fine.”

Because really, again, it was Logan’s tale to tell. She could over an ear to listen but other than that... well, she wouldn’t force him. She just hoped that one day, the pain that was currently covering her own path would lead way to the happiness she and her husband were trying to find again. Still, she wasn’t going to bring it up. No need to give Logan false hope that she might one day be available for him. Because she knew that wouldn’t be the case. Even if things didn’t work out with Anatoly, she knew she would be done. That ability and willingness to open up and trust would be destroyed. She had thought she had the option to do so, that she didn’t deserve to be lonely and who did? But that was one of the reasons that kept her from severing her relationship with Anatoly, from seeking love elsewhere. Knowing it would never be the same, knowing that the only one who would ever truly see her was the awkward man who stumbled over his words in their first meeting in wanting to learn chess. Life was strange like that.

Logan knew he needed to talk to someone about it. He’d prefer Ororo. She knew about his feelings, about what he was... But perhaps with Svetlana, it would be good to at least try and talk about it. Just so he didn’t go completely depressed or hateful.

“...shortly before comin’ here...I lost someone...someone I...” he stopped, stopped walking and stopped talking and bowed his head. “I loved her...but her mutant powers...they were uncontrollable. Xavier tried to replace the blocks but...she killed her closest friend. And she had to be killed...” He couldn’t add the words and I killed her. Even if Svetlana would understand, he didn’t want her to know that about him. Not yet. Maybe never.

But there it was. He had opened up to someone he hadn’t known truly all that well. But the important thing Ororo had been pushing him on was to share his feelings with someone. Hell, anyone. And he had.

And so Logan took the talking about it path. It was probably good for him, especially from what he said. Though while he didn’t say the words that he had killed her, Svetlana was able to pick up on it. It was in the way his voice trailed off, the way he held himself, the guilt. Because if there was one thing Svetlana was good at recognizing, it was when someone felt guilt thanks to Anatoly. It was glaringly obvious to her. Still, she didn’t say anything on what she had picked up. It wasn’t her place, after all.

“Sometimes things happen. They do not make sense, they hurt us, but they happen and we have to learn from them. To move on and grow from them...”

Perhaps that was all everything was. She knew that life was painful and a learning experience with each thing that happened. And sure, sometimes things seemed more hurtful than others, but what could really be done about it beyond learning and growing?

“Still, you have a chance to have a better life if you get sent back. And you can make a life here as well. Find yourself if you like...”

Shrugging Svetlana folded her hair behind her ear. She wasn’t sure if it would help or not, but she at least voiced it for him.

Logan looked up, listening to what the Russian woman said and felt a sense of relief. It was as if a slight weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He ran his hands over his face to wipe away any traces of tears and it gave him a chance to compose himself. The mutant looked at the Russian woman and gave a small smile.

“I hope so Svetlana,” he said in regards to the comment about a better life in his world. Hopefully she was right. He hoped she was. He let a slow breath out. “Part of me is...wary to find myself. Afraid of what I might find...and that I might like it.” He was glad to be talking about this, he really was. And he was making sure that no one was eavesdropping. Svetlana wasn’t the only one use to looking over her shoulder.

Most people might not think they needed to be so cautious, even those who were displaced, but between Svetlana being from the Soviet Union and Logan being a mutant who had to fight for survival, for them, being overly cautious seemed to be second nature for them. Even as they walked and she appeared completely calm, the Russian woman was always making sure to keep an eye out for Molokov. So far she hadn’t seen him that day, but that didn’t mean a thing. He could be there, lurking, just like he always was when no one else saw him. Eight months he’d been there but so far she was the only one to see him. Just what was he up to?

So while Logan regained his composure, Svetlana made sure that the KGB rat bastard wasn’t following them while appearing as though she were merely observing the people around her. Nodding at his comment on being afraid of what he might find, the blond pursed her lips together in thought. She wasn’t really sure how to handle that particular comment.

“You cannot always live in fear of the unknown, especially if the unknown is yourself. At some point, you have to face your demons and move on. Running will only backfire in the end.”

As it was with Anatoly. The difference being he kept running because he knew that he wasn’t really winning. He knew that he had lost everything and so he ran to avoid it. Threw himself into chess, into a meaningless relationship to try and maintain what he thought he wanted, all the while knowing the truth beneath it all. Just as Svetlana had run from the memories of Moscow and Molokov, of what he put her through and now those memories came back to haunt her with the slightest provocation. Running got people no where, no matter what they thought.

Logan listened to Svetlana and knew she was right. He couldn’t keep running from finding out what kind of man he was. Doing that wasn’t practical in any sense. Still, he was afraid of showing Svetlana that side of himself. Part of him liked the rage and the violence. Maybe he could try to voice it in a way that she wouldn’t pick up on. It was a hope at least.

“I know. I just...part of my mutant ability with the whole fast healing is my senses are better than a human’s. Like, I can smell the perfume of that woman over there talking with that guy. If I concentrate enough, I could hear what they’re sayin’.”

He shoved his hands into his pockets with a shrug. “I guess I’m a bit worried that maybe I’m more animal than man.” There, it was out and it was true.

Hearing that Logan had heightened senses, Svetlana sipped her tea in thought. She could understand the worry, but at the same time, just having the senses didn’t mean much. Yes, he had mentioned being on the run all the time and being different but that didn’t really add up to being more animal than man.

“Just because you have the heightened senses does not mean that you are automatically more animal than human. I can understand the concern, but animals rely on base instincts. Humans are able to see and comprehend. They are able to know when to walk away from a fight, are able to judge the different courses of actions available to them to make a decision as opposed to just doing the first thing that comes to mind.”

Shrugging, the blond looked up at Logan for a moment before focusing on the path before them.

“I suppose it decides on what course of action you end up taking. While you lived on the run, instinct would be more necessary, but that does not mean you are unable to think through the courses of actions to take. I believe that is the distinction. Having the ability to make those choices.”

Svetlana had just perfectly described Logan whether she knew it or not. But still, he listened to her. Should he tell her he had relied on instinct for decades? That he didn’t know how to be a man anymore? Though to be fair, that wasn’t true. He had been learning at the institute. Actually, ever since meeting Rogue he had started to care about more than just himself and surviving.

“Won’t lie, spent a decade or two with nothing but base instinct keeping me alive.” He owed Svetlana the truth. At least some truth. And he had walked away from a fight. Maybe not a physical fight but with Stryker, fights weren’t always physical. They were manipulative. And he had walked away from that. So, there was hope for him. He just needed to work on his anger issues and not always put his foot in his mouth. Though he doubted that would ever stop. It was a skill he seemed to have to say or do the wrong thing. Still, Svetlana was right. This could be his chance to make something more of himself.

“But you’re right. Can’t keep running. And this could be my chance to make a good life for myself here.” He felt a genuine smile form on his face and he looked at the smaller Russian woman. “Thanks Svetlana.” And this whole conversation had only made him like Svetlana more.

At least Logan was listening to what she had to say. That also was part of being more human than animal. Listening and taking things into consideration, willing to work on things. Yes, he used to have to rely on base instinct alone but even then, there were options and choices to be made. Those just were the ones necessary.

“Precisely. For some people, this place is a curse, but for others, it is a second chance. To fix things that went wrong...” She had to wonder if it would do any good. Though she supposed it was also contingent on if the people here remembered their time here or not when they got sent back. But she had a feeling that, even if they didn’t have the exact memories, perhaps they’d have the instinct. At least if it was something the tied into their lives back home. She could hope. Otherwise the progress she was making with Anatoly could be for naught and they’d return to Russia when the Seal got tired of them and they’d be back at square one, perhaps not even able willing to try then. But that was neither here nor there so she pushed the thoughts aside and returned the smile some.

“You are welcome.”

At that, the two ended up at the elementary school. Svetlana hadn’t really been anticipating showing up there, but a look to the clock showed that it was time for the girls to get out, which meant she was going off of routine. And just then, two blond girls raced up to the two, Jelena latching onto Svetlana’s legs as Fayina stood back and eyed the two some before addressing her mother in English as they tended to stick to English if they were around those who didn’t speak Russian so as not to be rude.

“Where’s daddy?”

“He is back at the complex.”

She knew that Fayina was more wary of Anatoly disappearing on them again but she didn’t fault the girl. But at least the answer satisfied the eight year old who then gave a slight wave to Logan before taking Svetlana’s hand while saying something to her sister so that they could head back to the complex and attack their father.

Logan smiled some at seeing the girls. This hadn’t been planned but no matter. It was nice seeing the girls and Logan was rather happy he hadn’t had a cigar for the entire day. He knew the girls didn’t like the smell of it, not to mention how unhealthy it was for them.

He kept his hands in his pockets and joined the three Russian ladies in walking back to the complex. Okay, so two of said ladies were kids but no matter. He looked at Fayina and smiled at her. He really wasn’t sure what to say to the girls but sometimes things didn’t need to be said. That and talking about his violent past probably wasn’t good with two small children nearby. And he really wasn’t up to date on the whole school thing and asking about school seemed more a parent thing to do.

So it was silence for now on his part unless someone asked him a question. Still, he would walk with them because of all the crazies and everything running around. Not that he doubted Svetlana’s ability to keep her family safe, but he was fond of the two girls. So he didn’t mind walking with them. Though the two girls being there had put a genuine smile on his face.

And so came the end of the serious conversations, though it was probably for the best at the moment. Mostly because Svetlana didn’t feel up to getting into her own history. While it was good for Logan to feel comfortable enough to open up, getting Svetlana to such a place was much harder. Especially given that Logan was no longer just a friend but someone who seemed to have feelings for her, which would make discussing things with him that much more awkward. Besides, the things in her past and that she was dealing with were private matters for her and Anatoly. There was no need to involve anyone else.

With Jelena talking quickly about something that had happened in her class and stumbling over her words, throwing random Russian in, Svetlana smiled faintly. Despite all the drama that had gone on the week previous, her unwitting hand in the death of that pageant mother, today was a relatively good day all things considered. She still felt guilty, though oddly enough, Freddie of all people had made her feel at least slightly better in regards to that given the cultural differences and no one saying anything to her until it was too late and even the previous posts that had mentioned anything hadn’t registered as it had been a name and nothing more. Hopefully she would stop feeling guilty over that soon, though. But so long as she didn’t let the girls know, it would be fine.

As they got to the complex and the apartment, Svetlana gave a small nod to Logan.

“It was nice talking with you, Logan.” And it had been, all things considered. Of course she was upset about what had happened, feeling guilty for that as well, but at least things seemed to have worked out in regards to that. At least she hoped so. With Jelena detaching herself from Svetlana to hug Logan’s leg, Svetlana watched as the five year old raced into the apartment followed by Fayina.

“I will see you around then.” With that, she slipped into the apartment and closed the door behind her. So much for normal friendships. Hopefully though, this would be the end of that and they could go back to being friends.

Logan smiled and returned Jelena’s hug on his leg by ruffling her hair affectionately. See you girls later,” he called after them. He grinned some before turning to Svetlana. “See you around Svetlana. Thanks for listening too,” he added as she walked into the apartment.

With Svetlana and the girls safe, Logan moved into his room and let a slow breath out. He had a long road ahead of him to stop relying so much on base instinct and be more willing to talk things out. He needed to stop relying so much on violence to solve his issues. It wasn’t needed here unless violence was the only course. But he would succeed. He cared deeply about Svetlana. And he would change. For her.