Tweak

InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I AM antisocial! "

Username: 
Password:    
Remember Me
  • Create Account
  • IJ Login
  • OpenID Login
Search by : 
  • View
    • Create Account
    • IJ Login
    • OpenID Login
  • Journal
    • Post
    • Edit Entries
    • Customize Journal
    • Comment Settings
    • Recent Comments
    • Manage Tags
  • Account
    • Manage Account
    • Viewing Options
    • Manage Profile
    • Manage Notifications
    • Manage Pictures
    • Manage Schools
    • Account Status
  • Friends
    • Edit Friends
    • Edit Custom Groups
    • Friends Filter
    • Nudge Friends
    • Invite
    • Create RSS Feed
  • Asylums
    • Post
    • Asylum Invitations
    • Manage Asylums
    • Create Asylum
  • Site
    • Support
    • Upgrade Account
    • FAQs
    • Search By Location
    • Search By Interest
    • Search Randomly

Tate Langdon ([info]normanbatesjr) wrote in [info]wariscoming,
@ 2012-02-08 18:09:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:tate langdon, violet harmon

Who: Tate and Violet
What: Truth telling
When: Evening
Where: The Complex lobby
Warnings TBA


If he could dream, he would have written this off as a nightmare. But the dead couldn't dream. All they had was reality, and if this was his new reality, he was torn between wanting to go home, and wanting to embrace this... whatever this was supposed to be. Maybe it was the freedom, which seemed brand new to him, or maybe it was Violet, who didn't know the full extent of what he had done. Maybe it was not living in a house that was a giant cage full of people who hated him, with walls like iron bars and windows that let him look out to see his mother and that baby who always turned his head back to look up at him.

It was cold in Kansas, colder than he could remember California ever being, but Tate didn't feel the change in weather, not like the living would feel it. There was only the breeze in his face and the silence of his footsteps and the soft whishing of cars whose passengers didn't see him. They didn't see him on purpose. They didn't see him because he didn't want them to see him. Being invisible was so much easier. Nobody could look at you and see things that you didn't want them to see. Tate wished his kid was invisible too. Just so he didn't have to gaze out a window and accidentally catch a glimpse of the child's eyes.

Doing this all over again was torture. The first time around had been a disaster and this time around couldn't possibly be any different. That woman who had typed out his secrets and sent them to Violet, that woman made his chest hurt and his hands shake, and if this had been three years ago, Tate thought he'd probably have wanted to gut her. Now, however, he just wanted her to go away. Crawling into a dark corner sounded like a good idea. But there was Violet to think about, and he couldn't leave her wondering.

Tate had not arrived wearing a jacket, but there was a jacket that he didn't need on him now. There was no appearing behind her like he'd always been there, no coming through a wall, no coming out of nowhere. He pulled the door open, stepped inside and waited for her to come to him first.


(Post a new comment)


[info]black_violet
2012-02-09 12:09 am UTC (link)
Violet had no idea what was going on any more. Tate was gone, and then he was here, but he was from a different point in time than she was and he acted like they weren't even together. He said that she told him to go away. She couldn't imagine why she would have told him that. And then that woman....all those things she said. Were they true? She hoped they weren't. They couldn't be. If what she said was true, that meant she really had killed herself that night, that Tate hadn't saved her like she thought. If it was all true, it meant Tate had been lying to her all this time.

Her head was spinning and she wasn't sure that she could tell up from down at this point. She felt sick and she just wanted to go to sleep and let all of this be over when she woke up. She wanted it to be a dream, a nightmare. But as she walked into the lobby, she had a feeling it really was all real because Tate was there, but he looked...worn somehow, like he had been through so much more than she remembered. And that scared her.

She walked up to stop just a bit in front of him, trying her hardest to keep a blank expression on her face. She had to take a second to steady herself before she spoke. She didn't want him to know she had been crying earlier. "Hey..." she said softly, it was all she felt she could manage to say without letting her voice waver.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]normanbatesjr
2012-02-09 01:02 am UTC (link)
The first urge Take got was to hug her. His brain, on the other hand, was telling him to take a step back, to let her have her space, to not get too close because Violet wasn't ready for that yet. The rational part of his conscience reminded him that this Violet hadn't experienced everything she should have, and that meant she didn't feel like she would feel in the future. Maybe that meant she wouldn't flinch if he got closer. Maybe it meant something else.

So Tate refrained from reaching out. He didn't touch her. He was quieter than he'd ever been before. In a way, he felt like he was walking on shards of broken glass, trying not to break them even more than they already were. It seemed deathly important, that he not shatter the glass, that he make no mistakes, that he take his time and say everything right. Hell, he had three years to think of things to say to her. He had three years to ponder over imaginary meetings, to wonder what he would do if they came across one another in a hallway.

Nothing had prepared him for this. Tate never thought he would have to tell her all over again.

"We did this already." He said it quietly, not quite a whisper, but not with his full voice either. "I showed you. I tried."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]black_violet
2012-02-09 02:18 am UTC (link)
She stood there, still, quiet, like a statue. Her eyes were wide and she couldn't take her eyes off of him. She didn't know what to do. How to act. This was all wrong. They were supposed to be fine now, but they weren't and she didn't know how this was supposed to go.

"Did what, Tate? I..." she bit the inside of her cheek to keep the tears threatening to spill onto her cheeks in check. She didn't want to cry. Not here, not now. "Is she...is she right? Am I... That night, did I..." She couldn't even bring herself to say it.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]normanbatesjr
2012-02-09 02:32 am UTC (link)
There was no body under a house to show her in Kansas. There was no scheme to make the truth easier on her. All he had were words and that didn't seem good enough. His throat tightened, his hands clenched and then unclenched at his sides, his eyes blinked and Tate bowed his head to look down at the floor. In his eyes he felt the presence of unshed tears and he blinked them back. Crying in front of her would tell her more than his words ever could. So Tate didn't cry this time.

He looked back up, swung his bloodshot eyes toward her and kept them there. Then he swallowed, took a breath that he didn't need to take, and tried to keep his voice from shaking.

"I tried. I tried so hard." It had been one of the few good things he had ever done.

"You took too many. I was too late."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]black_violet
2012-02-09 04:03 am UTC (link)
She shook her head as soon as he started to speak, "No," she mumbled, not looking at him. "No, no, no..." She felt like her whole world had just shattered into pieces. Her stomach was in knots and she wasn't so sure she could stand here much longer.

Despite her attempt at holding it back, a sob escaped her and that was all it took for her to just collapse right there where she stood in a heap on the floor. She pulled her knees up to her chest, buried her face in her knees. She couldn't take this. She couldn't handle this. After everything she had been through, she was really at the point where she thought that it was impossible for things to get worse and now this?!

She just sat like that in the floor, crying for awhile before she finally managed to gain at least a little composure about her. Her breathing was still uneven and she still had hot tears rolling quickly down her cheeks, but she finally looked up at him and only four words came out of her mouth. "Why did you lie?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]normanbatesjr
2012-02-09 04:21 am UTC (link)
Tate knew what Ben would say to Violet if, three years ago, she'd asked him why Tate had lied to her.

Because he's a psychopath. Because he's a goddamn liar. Because he's a monster.

Why did anyone lie to anybody? There were a million reasons and none of them were good enough. Tate had created so many lies that they had come together in a web and he had gotten stuck in it. Three years later, he was still stuck. He was starting to think that there was no way out. You imprisoned yourself and you stayed imprisoned for the rest of your life. Or afterlife.

After a moment that seemed to go on forever, Tate fell down onto the floor after her. While she cried, at first, he kept to himself, stayed in his own little space, didn't intrude into hers. This was like a movie he never wanted to see again. It was like somebody had rewound everything and he was under the house again, standing in a dank crawlspace with Violet's body rotting and Violet, the real Violet, crying, and him trying to say the right thing and make it better.

The realization had hit him, after Ben had died, that it was impossible for him to make it better. He couldn't fix this.

"Because you didn't know. You woke back up and you didn't remember and I didn't know how to say it." Finally, carefully, he reached out to touch her hand. It was the first time in three years that he'd touched her and the tears were there then, just like before.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]black_violet
2012-02-09 04:53 am UTC (link)
She stared at him, waiting for him to talk, to move, to do anything. He was sitting next to her now, but he was still silent and it was driving her crazy. Her stomach was doing somersaults and she felt like she had been spinning in circles for too long. "I don't understand....how did I not...I don't..." She couldn't even form a proper sentence, and that was probably pretty understandable considering the situation, but that didn't make it any less frustrating.

She had lost herself somewhere inside her head and didn't notice when he'd moved to take her hand, so the contact startled her and she jumped, her attention back on him. She was frozen, like a deer in headlights. She didn't know what to do. "You should have said something...I don't...you were supposed to be protecting me...I...how is lying protecting me?!"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]normanbatesjr
2012-02-09 05:16 am UTC (link)
The truth was that he had failed at protecting her. The second he'd gone into her mother's room and gone back out knowing that in nine months Nora would have her baby, he had failed. If he could go back and do it all over again, everything would be different. Violet would be alive. He wouldn't have a child who looked at him, as if he could see him when he wasn't visible, as if he weren't a child at all. If he could go back, he would leave the gay couple alone and he wouldn't talk to Nora, because in the end, she hadn't wanted a baby after all. All the disaster and the hurt and the death had been for nothing in the end. It had been for nothing because Nora couldn't stand having to listen to a screaming baby.

And after it all, Tate was just the Murder House's resident monster.

"I don't know." It came out as half a cry, half sob, half something that was broken. "I don't know anything anymore. I thought I was protecting you. I wasn't. I thought everything would be okay. Nothing was okay and I..." His sentence trailed off and he found that he couldn't pick it back up.

Afraid that she would disappear if he let her go, he held onto her hand. "But you're not alone, Violet. You're different than most of us. You're happy."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]black_violet
2012-02-09 01:28 pm UTC (link)
She sat there and stared at him as he spoke, not sure what else to do. Tears were still poiring down her cheeks, but she didn't even wiping them away. "Oh, yeah, my life's over, I'm dead, let's fucking celebrate." she spat out. She couldn't imagine being okay with this, being happy that she was dead. And then something crossed her mind, "What about you? You said I told you to go away....and that woman was talking about a lot of other stuff...is there anything else you need to tell me, Tate? Because if there is, you need to do it now. Come clean right now, about everything."

Thinking over that woman's words made her shudder. She spoke in broken, kind of mixed of sentences, but she sure as hell got her point across. The idea of that being true, of Tate being the one that did these horrible things, it was too much and she wasn't even sure if she could handle it right now, but she needed to know. She needed to know everything he had been hidin from her, even if it meant she'd never want to see him again.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]normanbatesjr
2012-02-09 11:50 pm UTC (link)
This was worse than before. The truth had been put into the light slowly back home, but here everything was going to come out fast, like blood pouring from an open wound. And Tate still wasn't any more prepared for the consequences. The silence of her staying away from him was a biting, tearing hurt, but he thought that this, this could easily be worse than the empty spaces.

He could not chase the flinch away, the outward chill that went down his spine. Suddenly, he felt cold and scared and overwhelmed by guilt. Tate's hand fell away from hers and recoiled back to his own side. Shaking and cold, he got to his feet and backed himself up against the nearest wall. His face tear streaked, his eyes wide and dark and glued to Violet, he opened his mouth and answered her.

"Your parents are dead, Violet. Your mother died in childbirth and your father was killed by Hayden. And you have a new brother who is never going to grow up or go to school or walk or do much of anything." Tate took a breath. Another breath that wasn't necessary.

She didn't deserve this. He felt like was he killing her. But he kept talking anyway. "I'm a murderer, Violet. I killed my classmates and I killed that gay couple who lived in the house before you did. And I set my mother's boyfriend on fire and I'm the reason your mother is dead."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]black_violet
2012-02-10 12:21 am UTC (link)
When he let go of her hand and moved away, Violet's stomach lurched rather violently. That was more than enough to tell her this was about to get a thousand times worse. She stared at him, waiting for him to speak again. That broken look on his face tore her up, she didn't want to see him like that, but a part of her thought maybe he deserved it, after everything she'd found out. And there was still more to come.

She sat there listening to his story and she couldn't even bring herself to believe what he was saying, except the part about the kids at his school, she'd just found that out not long before she ended up here. "Hayden's the death of my dad, surprise, sur-fucking-prise." she rolled her eyes. She hated that bitch and her dad wasn't all that high on her list of favorite people either.

That last comment, "I'm the reason your mother is dead.", that was the part that threw her off. As bad as everything else that he had said was, that was what she got stuck on. At first, it didn't make sense. What the hell was he talking about? How did he have anything to do with her mother dying while she was in childbirth? And then it hit her. Her face twisted up and she barely managed to whisper, "What the hell are you saying, Tate?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]normanbatesjr
2012-02-10 12:36 am UTC (link)
"Your dad didn't deserve--" He stopped before he could finish. Now wasn't the time to defend Ben to his daughter. Now was the time for him to... What? Tell her what a monster he was? Make her hate him all over again? Break her heart? All of those things. Now was the time for all of those things. Again. Just like before.

He wanted to hug her but he didn't dare move any closer. She was upset and that was entirely his fault. People said the truth hurt, didn't they? Tate thought that most of those people had no fucking idea exactly how much the truth fucking hurt. He wanted to be one of those people. He didn't want to know either.

Tate wasn't standing tall and assured and straight. He was trying to curl into himself, trying to hide without hiding. His head was hung. Like a man who had been condemned. He wondered if this was how murderers felt when they were shackled and paraded out in front of their victim's family.

He said: "You have two brothers. One of them is alive. That one is mine. I wanted to give Nora a baby."

The truth hurt.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]black_violet
2012-02-10 02:14 am UTC (link)
"I'm not saying he deserves--deserved...to die, but he didn't exactly do the best job of being the man of the house." She shook her head. This was crazy. This was all just...an insanely horrible nightmare. Or at least, she wished it was, but she was way too aware of things right now for this to be a dream.

"You...you slept with my mom? And, what, I'm supposed to be okay with this?" Now, she wasn't so sad and crying, now, she was kind of starting to get pissed off. She could handle that better, it was easier being mad. She stood up and crossed the room to where he stood, "Do you even realize how fucked up everything you just told me is, Tate? What the fuck is wrong with you?" she shoved him in the chest, as hard as she could, "How could you see this as turning out okay? How could you have ever thought this would be right?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]normanbatesjr
2012-02-10 02:35 am UTC (link)
Somehow, it was better that she shoved him, better that she was angry and not just sad, heartbroken and crying. When it came to Violet, Tate could better deal with her anger than her tears. His regret was a throbbing thing in his chest and a sound that wasn't quite human or animal escaped his throat and then died. He shook his head.

"You're not supposed to be okay with this. I didn't think it would be okay." He didn't even notice the wall behind him, and being pressed back harder into that wall. "I wanted Nora to be happy again and I didn't really know you yet and I--" There were a million excuses he could have given her, but excuses were old news and he was over them. They didn't do anyone any good. "And I'm fucked up. I should've left you and your family alone. But I was stupid and I didn't."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]black_violet
2012-02-10 03:11 am UTC (link)
"Stop it! Stop this self-pity bullshit, Tate!" She shouted as she hit him again. "You were supposed to protect me...you were supposed to save me...and all you did is fuck everything up!" She just kept hitting him, over and over again, hoping that maybe it would make her feel better.

Finally, she stopped and let her hands drop back down to her sides. She just stood there and stared at him for a few minutes, trying to figure out where to go from here, but she was at a complete loss. "I don't even...this is just so..." She let out a frustrated groan. "I can't do this right now, Tate. I..." She stared down at the floor for a moment and let out a shaky breath. "I was so freaked out because you were gone...and then you came back and everything was supposed to be okay again...but it's not. It's just...more broken than ever."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]normanbatesjr
2012-02-10 04:03 am UTC (link)
Tate took her hits without flinching or moving away. The least he could do was let her take out some aggression on him. His eyes swung away from her, unable to keep looking. He wished he was back in the house now, out of Kansas, locked away with Hayden who was just as hated and just as messed up as he was.

His voice quivered but the rest of him had gone motionless. Even the rising and falling of his chest had stopped. "I tried. I tried to protect you, Violet. I didn't want you to die. I didn't want any of you to die."

"Your dad says that you can't forgive me. Because a person can only forgive someone for what they did to them personally. And I don't want you to forgive me, Violet. I just want you to know that I'm sorry." He began to breath properly again, and his chest rose and fell as if he were alive. "I love you and because I love you I'll leave you alone."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]black_violet
2012-02-10 05:29 am UTC (link)
"I don't know if he's right or not...I fucking know, but what I do know is I never wanted it to come to this, Tate..." The tears were rolling down her cheeks all over again, but this time there were no sobs, just hot tears stinging her eyes and staining her face. "I never wanted you to leave me alone...but I...I don't know if I can do this...this is just..." she shook her head and wiped the tears from her face. She didn't want to cry anymore, but it was kind of pointless because she couldn't stop.

"I...I don't even know how to handle this, Tate. I...I think I just need to...to be alone for awhile." She said, her voice barely even a whisper with those last few words. She couldn't bring herself to actually tell him to go away, but it was close enough, and she was pretty sure the 'go away' thing wouldn't work here the way it did at the Murder House, but she didn't want to say it, just in case, because however much she hated him right now and however much she didn't want to be around him, there was still some tiny little piece of her that was hoping that maybe, somehow, they could get around this.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

Home | Site Map | Manage Account | TOS | Privacy | Support | FAQs