Who: Rei...and Minako What: The priestess is emoting and obviously this means Minako has to barge in on it. When: This evening Where: Rei's apartment Rating: Other than emotional turmoil, subtexting and angst, not much else should be happening here.
While the bauble thing had been frightening, it had granted her wish. If it hadn't, she would've made her own shrine. She was a priestess, she needed a shrine where she could pray and meditate, and also to use the fire to enhance her aura-sensing powers. It would help greatly when they needed to locate someone or something specific. And now, at least she had somewhere to focus her energy, to help quiet her mind.
The truth of it was that since coming to the complex and getting the room, she had been very quiet. Not that Rei was normally a loud person. She rarely watched television, though she did listen to music but it generally wasn't loud music. Part of her did wonder if Minako thought she was dead or something, but she was trying not to focus on that. Rei needed to find her inner calm in order to properly fight. True her emotions helped fuel her attacks in battle and gave her a stronger drive, but at the same time it only distracted her mentally. Rei couldn't let herself be distracted by silly emotions, otherwise she knew Minako would get on her case about not being focused. Though there was a part of her that was determined to do this to prove to herself that she hadn't failed as leader, that she could believe she did everything she possibly could to stop Serenity. She wasn't exactly at that point yet.
Kneeling before the shrine, Rei closed her eyes and let herself start going into a meditative state. Much to her surprise, she'd actually gotten a couple hours of sleep the night before. But her dreams gave her no peace. The one she remembered most vividly had been about Minako. She relived the pain of her death, this time drawn out in every little detail. The bitter agony, the raw emotion, the way her heart had broken. And the realization of her hidden feelings. Oh yes, because the way she mourned for Minako ran deeper than a friend's mourning should go. No, Rei had mourned a lost love, one that she hadn't even realized she'd had.
True Minako and Rei spent most of their time fighting over this or that and constantly challenging each other, but sometimes people as passionate as they were fell for each other. And oh how Rei had fallen without realizing it. For being a soldier of fire, Rei was ice when it came to soft emotions. She hid them carefully, covering her heart in protective layers so that it couldn't be broken again. The priestess well knew her heart couldn't take being broken again, not after what she'd been through in her young life.
It was taking all of her resolve to keep her concentration, trying to find that inner stillness. It always came so easily to her, but not this time. Sighing heavily and opening her eyes, she gazed into the fire before her. She had too many emotions than she could simply lock away inside. It was too volatile to allow her to properly meditate. She needed to release some of the pent up emotion, and it really took no effort at all. All she needed to do was think that Minako was on the other side of the wall currently in front of her and the tears started to flow. It really didn't take long before she was sobbing. The priestess tried to keep the volume of her sobbing down so Minako wouldn't hear her through the wall. The last thing she needed was for the Senshi to come knocking on her door while she was in the middle of letting her emotions out like this.
But it was still so hard to believe. Minako was here. She was alive and very much real. The priestess still felt complete apprehension that somehow, Minako would be ripped away from her again and as a result she should not let her heart heal with the hope that she would be here long term. Rei kept her emotions close to her heart, and given Minako's condition, she would not allow herself to open up in this way to her or anyone else for that matter. This was one thing she could never allow herself to admit to anyone, so she just had to find a way to keep it to herself. It wasn't because she was against the possibility of being of happy, it was because she didn't want to deal with the inevitable heartbreak that would come. After all, hadn't that been what she'd learned from her own parents? Love wasn't strong enough to make her father be there with his family when they needed him. Rei wasn't going to deal with putting the pieces of herself back together again on her own. She'd all ready walked that path once as a six year old, though in some ways she was still piecing herself together from that.
If Rei had been in a better state of mind, she would have put forth the argument of who would be leader here. Minako was rightfully the leader, but Rei had been the leader before arriving here. But now? She'd just let Minako take the lead and follow along. She didn't want to fight until she'd properly put her emotions back into the box under tight lock and key. Fighting could easily lead her to revealing things she had no intention of ever revealing because she was so emotionally high-strung right now.
Glancing at the small photograph on her shrine through tear-blurred eyes, Rei wished that her mother was there. She wouldn't admit it, but she could use a hug right now, someone to tell her it would be all right and soothe her burning emotions. But she didn't expect anyone to do that for her, and neither would she ask for it. So once again steeling herself against her emotions, she wiped her cheeks once her sobbing calmed. Drawing in a deep breath and closing her eyes, Rei once more started to meditate, focusing on her slow, deliberate breathing to help soothe her. She needed to be stronger, needed to be better so she wouldn't be broken down by Serenity and Minako. But most of all, she needed to be stronger so she wouldn't become her own worst enemy.