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Darcy Rhone is a total MILF (total_milf) wrote in wariscoming,

While Ethan didn't stop crying when Clark started talking directly to him, he quieted a little at it. Darcy looked at Clark with a small smirk at the statement he'd made. Yeah, she really did need a break; too bad she wasn't really going to get one for years and years. When Sammy started in and Clark reassured her that it was fine that they stay and it was going to take more than the boys' crying to drive him off, she gave him a weak smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

The thing was, however much Darcy wished that Clark was equally in this as much as she was, the only reason she had for feeling that way was because she was scared and she didn't want to have to do it all by herself. She was loathe to admit to herself that it had next to nothing to have to do with Clark himself. The fact of the matter was — and she had to remind herself way more often than she would have preferred — that Clark wasn't and never would be Ethan & Sammy's father. He would never have to take turns with her getting up in the middle of the night to change diapers or dry tears after nightmares.

Clark wasn't ever going to have to be the one to wake them up in the morning or listen to them cry all day. He wasn't ever going to have to hear, Daaaaad! Ethan hit me! or Daaa—aaaad! Tell Sammy to stop looking at me!!! He wasn't going to have to help her pay her bills and feed the boys at the same time; Clark wasn't ever going to have to be the one taking them to the doctor when they were sick or find a sitter when he wanted some alone time.

Darcy wanted very much for Clark to be a part of the boys' lives, but no matter how big a part he was, he would never be their father, he would never be their blood, and he would never have to stick around. So, while he said now that it was going to take more than baby tears to drive him away, Darcy wasn't so sure that eventually the baby tears and the diapers, and the spit up, and the screaming, and the million other things that Darcy now had ahead of her to face alone...might make him change his mind. Another thing, after all, that Darcy had to remind herself was that Clark was still young. He was in his prime, in his early twenties, and as much as she wanted to believe he was going to be there for her and her children, there was still that seed of doubt settled deep in the pit of her stomach that eventually, Clark was going to realize he had tied himself down...and that he needed to cut the leash.

Darcy had taken a seat on the couch, and when she started to rock his car seat, Sammy had stopped crying and opened his eyes again. This time, for the first time that Darcy had seen, he'd kept them open long enough to look up at her as Clark addressed them both, from his spot behind the couch. She gave him a smile and blew an air kiss at the younger of the two twins before looking back at Ethan who was still taking wobbly breaths as he calmed himself, but had, never the less, stopped crying. The silence that followed in the pause between Clark's speaking was music to her ears.

Ethan's wet eyes trained themselves on Clark and Darcy smiled, looking up at Clark in time to catch his grin before she moved her eyes back down to Sammy. He, too, seemed to be looking up at Clark, if even only for the first part of Clark's so-called secret before he closed his eyes and pushed his fingers into his mouth.