How she wished that her voice hadn't betrayed her. How she wished that she could mask the pain completely, make it so no one knew it existed. And while around most she could, Anatoly would always know. He would always know just by inflection of the voice what truly lay beneath the surface. She appeared the Ice Queen, it was her defense, but there were so many emotions that lay beneath, waiting for someone to unmask them and let her feel. Because she was so tired and cold and Anatoly always could make her feel. Make her respond. He saw every nuance and she for him. They complimented one another so well. But in that, they could destroy one another and the past years were trying so hard to do that to Svetlana and she feared that one day, it would happen. That she'd be beyond repair and no one would be able to save her.
His comment was true, though disheartening. She already knew there was nothing that could be done, but verification hurt. Especially because it dealt with so much. They both knew there was more to this than the past two weeks. They both knew that this went back to the beginning, to turning right instead of left for which park to go to that day. The day Molokov had found them and made Anatoly his. So where did they go from here when this wasn't what they intended? What could they do?
Shaking, Svetlana wrapped her arms around herself and bowed her head. She had wanted so much not to show any weakness in front of him, but Anatoly always got under her skin. Why couldn't this be when they had first met? Why couldn't this be when he didn't know her and thus didn't get under her skin in such a way, that even in closed off Ice Queen, she broke?