There would be no horrid death. Who did Lily think she was dealing with here? It was still Roxanne Weasley and even if Lily knew an older version of her she was still just as kick ass as ever she was. Especially at things like apparition where no one had gotten splinched. "No one even got that way Lilz! I was very careful about it all and thought about the destination and took a breath and everything. I do have some clue of what I'm doing you know!" And she thought that she very much did. Lily was fine! Her apparition lessons had been going really well anyway. Just cause she didn't have the bit of paper just yet. It didn't mean anything!
And then of course there was laughing, her cousin was evilly mocking her, so she'd found herself in America younger than Lily knew her and therefore unable to drink or anything. It did not mean that she was a baby. And 22 was a ridiculous age no one in their right mind would want to be anyway.
"I don't need your pity beer" she told her cousin dramatically.
Though she couldn't lie, plan skittle vodka had merit. "Y'know its possible" she said with a grin. "Only I don't want to get arrested, or have Professor Longbottom find out we're up to something. Or our family. Or any of them. Maybe you just occasionally let me drink and remember that older me would be horrified to find out you were depriving younger me of the experiences of adulthood. Its cruel is what it is Lily. And unusual. And you love your cousin way way too much to put her through that kind of thing."