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Tweak says, "I like cherrios better"

Caitlin Snow/Killer Frost (frostandsnow) wrote in wariscoming,
@ 2011-06-15 22:23:00

Entry tags:

ruby winchester, sam winchester

Who: Ruby & Sam Winchester
What: A letter arrives
Where: Their Bedroom
When: Early Morning
Rating: Probably low but TBD
Status: In Progress

Ruby heard the door, just a little noise, someone dropping a letter off and quickly finished making Sam's coffee before practicly running to the front hallway. There it was. Just an envelope, something so simple but she held on to it like it was the most precious thing in the world as soon as she'd put the coffee down and bent to pick it up. The puppy Sam had bought for her seemed just as eager to play with it as she was so she had to move him back just to get at the letter. The address was handwritten and she knew. This was it. And it was a hell of a time for it to arrive. Sam was still in bed, sleeping off the various injuries he'd gained, from where he wouldn't tell her but she knew it was more than just his fight with Dean. He was too badly hurt. She hadn't questioned when she'd found him. She'd just helped him to their bed, dressed his wounds. Made sure he was comfortable. It crossed her mind only once that her blood would heal him. It wasn't worth it. Especially for the sake of why they'd gone to find a doctor in the first place. It wouldn't do either of them any good to start down that road if in a hypothetical future they'd start trying for a kid. They hadn't had one in the future but then they hadn't had the animals either. They hadn't been so very domestic as they'd become. As domestic as a Hunter and his demon wife could be at any rate.

She turned the envelope over in her hands a few times not sure if she wanted to open it or not. Her gut told her it wasn't good news. If she could have had kids normally they'd really have been Brangelina by now. Hordes and hordes of kids. They had a lot of sex. Something would have happened by now. So in her heart she knew what the contents would say. The doctor had been kind if a little wary of her. Told her she'd done something amazing just by walking away from hell. He'd done tests. Sam had left the room when she'd needed to give blood, under much protest mind, he'd been calling in from the hall asking what was going on. Oh so protective. The Doctor had done what he needed to do and told her he'd have news in a few days.

And it seemed he did.

Ruby finally nodded, grabbed the coffee from where she'd left it on the table near the door, and moved toward the stairs quickly tracing the familiar path to the room she and Sam shared. The room was dark and the puppy bounded along behind her, but waited at the door. Fluffball was curled up on the pillow she had not long vacated. Ruby moved instead to sit at Sam's side of the bed waking her husband with a soft kiss and looking over the injuries to his face with a critical eye. He was stable still. He'd heal. He was strong. "Baby its here, the letter from the doc." she told him handing over the envelope and his coffee as soon as he was awake enough to take them. "I'm pretty sure its a no, I mean...it'd be impossible if I could and we hadn't yet but maybe there's something we can do. He said he'd look up some stuff, let us know. But if I can't I mean...thats okay isn't it. We said it wouldn't change anything..."

It wouldn't, she knew that. Sam loved her too much to let it change anything, and she was expecting not to be able to. But there was a small part of her. A tiny part of her that said maybe, maybe it was just coincidence that she hadn't gotten pregnant. Maybe she could and maybe someday... Nah there was no point. The puppy jumped at her legs seeming to sense the anticipation in the room and Ruby reached down to pet him, it didn't do much to take her mind off any of it.

"So...do we open it."

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frostandsnow
2011-06-21 05:32 pm UTC (link)

There it was. The man she loved was doing what he did best and raising her confidence just by talking to her, talking her through her crazy and making sure she knew exactly what he thought every time she did this to herself. Every time she put herself down like that. And she knew it hurt him but sometimes she didn’t see how she was allowed to get this lucky. It wasn’t fair to all the people she’d hurt and killed and twisted enough to send them screaming to hell, countless thousands that had every right to wish her nothing but misery and here she was happily married and deeply in love. “I know how you think, that's not the same thing all the time Sam.” she said softly, no she didn’t really want to debate this but here they were all the same. He wanted her to stop beating herself up over her past, thinking more of herself. And Ruby hated to make him feel bad. He hurt when she did it but it was almost instinctive in her mind. “I’m not trying to make you upset, I just know my past better than you do. There are thousands of people that would have lived perfectly happy lives without me. People that for whatever reason Azazel sent me after. And I never asked why, never cared. I just did it, killed, seduced, sent screaming into death. And you want me to stop feeling guilty about it. I thought feeling guilty was what I had to do because if I didn’t then how am I supposed to be better than before?” She wasn’t thinking about it every second of every day but when something bad happened why could she not wonder that it was her fault. That she paid for her many many sins. “I’m not sure I can promise you that. I’m not sure I know how?”

The school thing he was throwing arguments at her about, sensible ones in some ways yeah. He was legally dead. But he was also Sam Winchester. “Forge transcripts, are you saying you or someone here can’t do it? Do a correspondence course if it comes to that. But do something. I know you’re fine being a Hunter now but you still have your dreams. Somewhere in there. And I want you to work toward them, even slowly, even part time, even if it takes you six years. I want you to be doing something. I don’t want to keep you at this place where we are. No kids no career, just existing, that's not fair to you baby and I’m not gonna let you just settle. You don’t deserve to settle you deserve to have everything you want.”

They settled into a comfortable position as he seemed further traumatised by her mocking of the guy love. It was a little bit adorable. He was a little bit adorable. It helped. “What’s wrong with guy love!” she teased making sure he was in as comfortable a position as possible from the injuries he wouldn’t tell her the reason for. It hadn’t all been Dean but she wasn’t about to push him. Not yet. He’d tell her when he was good and ready. Or she’d eventually get impatient and demand to be told. That was of course always a possibility.

“The eggs will be fine. This time they stayed together when I cracked them after boiling. I might attempt scrambling or poaching them next time round.” His hands met hers and she smiled softly tilting her head just enough so their eyes locked. “The kids thing, I’ll get over, but only if you help by actually doing all you can to have some kind of career that you deserve, that you want. You can still be a Hunter but you can be this too. Besides we need a sexy lawyer type in Lawrence and I want to be married to him.” she insisted. “And you can come home to the sexy demon housewife. Cause I have no intention of getting a job. I’d snap and make my boss vomit worms for trying to tell me what to do It’d be messy, there’s no point. So you have to fund my life of luxury with your lawyerly ways. Look at least promise me you’ll think about it?” His use of the word deal so comfortably around her never failed to amuse her.

“Lets call it another promise.” she said laughing and moving to help Sam stand up. “And my pancakes will be amazing. Thank you.”

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ex_demonbloo908
2011-06-23 01:42 am UTC (link)

"I'm not saying don't feel bad for what you did," Sam said, leaning over a little to look at Ruby as best as he could without tearing his stitches apart. "I just don't think you should let that guilt lay waste to the rest of your life, you know? Look back and remember, feel sympathy for those that you killed, acknowledge that you made mistakes, but don't ever think that you don't deserve to live and have a life of your own now. You deserve to live. If you didn't think that, you wouldn't be here with me. We wouldn't be married. You'd have walked away or kept your head down when I vowed to kill you that day you told me the truth, remember? You wouldn't have fought back. You wouldn't have confirmed that you loving me was the only truth we had in all of that. If you thought you could keep living with me, if you thought that maybe you deserved a second chance, then you need to take it in every way possible. Don't do it half-assed."

Forgery was always a risk. Fraud. Pretending to be someone else. There was always a risk of it going wrong. Faking ID's and pretending to be someone that he wasn't was a lot easier when Sam didn't have to look back. He'd grab all the info he needed, interrogate a few people here and there, take care of the hunt, then push out of the picture before too many eyebrows were raised. Being in school, taking on an education, working hard to obtain some kind of recognizable role in the world - it was a lot more complicated. The second someone picked up on his lies, they'd cancel out everything that Sam had worked for. His education wouldn't matter. All that dedication and hard work would be thrown away and Sam would have to start over again or throw up his hands and admit that he'd thrown himself into something that had been a complete waste of his time.

Anyway, Sam didn't know what good it would do if the world was supposed to be ending. He certainly didn't think it'd be beneficial to him if they were running from Croatoan zombies in the next couple years or if he eventually did find a way to stop Lucifer. Especially not if stopping Lucifer, as Sam often wondered, would be the end of the line for him. One day he would have to right all his wrongs and maybe there'd be a cost.

A very big one.

"Look, I'll think about it, okay? I'm not making any promises here. If I come back and tell you that I don't want to, then that's it. I don't." He wasn't really going to think about it. Not much, anyway. Knowing Ruby, she wouldn't let up on him until he agreed to consider it, which meant that Sam would have to shrug it off for now. He didn't want to fight with or upset her. Emotionally, Sam couldn't take it right now. With the news of their not-plans for a future child being tossed out the window, Sam didn't think that Ruby could handle it right now either. It was better this way. "I'm honestly happy where I am," he added, "so if it's a no, I have you. I'll always have you, right? That's everything to me."

At her exclamation of guy love, Sam rolled his eyes and shook his head. "It sounds lame. There's no guy love. We're just guys. Who like to hang out. It's a friend thing. You have friends. There's no serious love there." Sam shot her a look, one that he played off as amusingly suspicious. "Or is there?" He reached out and took her hand, grimacing as various points of pain shot through his body with the lift out of bed. Sam took a small moment to settle himself, wrapping one of his arms over Ruby's small, but - fortunately - strong shoulders. "Right." Sam winced. No deals. Sometimes he forgot about the word usage when it came to her. But Sam didn't exactly see Ruby as just a demon, so maybe the forgetting was forgivable. "Promise is probably the better word anyway, 'cause now I can do this." Sam tilted his neck over, cut and bruised face leaving a kiss square on the side of Ruby's cheek.

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frostandsnow
2011-06-25 05:25 pm UTC (link)

She supposed that was true, or maybe it’d been selfishness, maybe she should have let him kill her that day, but she’d needed to see if there was a chance for them. If the reason she’d given up on her faith and her promises to Azazel would ever actually go anywhere, and it had. It had given her everything she could have imagined and more besides. “I fought back cause I needed to know. I had to know that you loved me back and then I couldn’t walk away, even the guilt I was starting to feel, even all that darkness, wasn’t enough that I was willing to give you up to pay for everything I did. I love you too much and maybe that’s selfish but that’s all it is. Is it enough to look back and feel bad? They wouldn’t think so, those people. I didn’t think about it like a second chance. I guess I didn’t think about it beyond being with you. And maybe I do feel like I don’t deserve happiness because of all that. It’s hard Sam”

Thinking about it meant no, meant he didn’t want to do it, meant he’d come up with a dozen reasons, each more sensible than the last as to why he couldn’t do it. And it made Ruby so sad that she couldn’t help him be what he wanted deep down. That there was no normal for them, bothered her more than anything else. And it seemed like the dream of it happening eventually was taking blow after blow. But she wasn’t gonna push him, there was no sense in that, he said he’d think about it and she’d try and convince him there was a way to do it. Maybe there was something someone could do. Maybe there was a way around it. She’d keep looking because he deserved to have a shot at his dream. She was already living hers.

“Okay, but you have to actually think about it and not just humor me, cause I know you, and I know this is what you do. But yes you’ll always have me. No matter what happens, no matter where life takes us I’ll always find my way back to you. That’s what’s important.” Ruby knew it was the best she was likely to get so she took it. It would do for now. And he said he was happy, but then part of her wondered if he’d say that to her anyway. “You have to promise me you’re actually happy just hunting, because I know your past, and I know how you work. So promise me you’re content and promise me you’ll think about it. That’s what I need from you.” Oh he was everything to her too, but there was nothing she wanted in life that she could have. She wasn’t like him, she didn’t have childhood dreams of aspiring to be better, or if she did, she didn’t remember them. He deserved to remember his.

Meanwhile though she’d just amuse herself by how traumatized he was by the guy love discussion. It was adorable. “Right right, my bad, just guys who like to hang out, that's all. That’s perfectly fair. Very manly and not becoming of guy love at all, and no no, I’m in no way planning to run away with Needy. Never happen.” she told him, all mock innocence and teasing. When she helped pull him to his feet she immediately steeled herself to help him walk, his arm wrapped around her, he was hunched over more cause of the height difference than anything else, maybe a taller vessel would have made more sense but she thought he liked her all little and petite. She’d grown too used to this body to give it up and it was holding out really well. When he promised and when he kissed her she tilted her head lifting on her toes to kiss him properly, there were no deals involved and she had no intention of making him do what she said with any other way than with her own personal charms.

“And now I can do this.” she told him when she finally broke the kiss. “Now downstairs. We’ll attempt pancakes and not burning the kitchen. It’ll be a bonding experience.”

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