She didn't care, she didn't need to care. She needed to worry about Sam now. He was what mattered. "Right so thats done." she said scrunching up the letter and letting it fall into the bin nearest the bed. "I was thinking breakfast. I could do eggs. I'm getting better at eggs. You just put them in water. Even I can't screw up boiling an egg right. Then I can change those bandages and we could just spend the day together, you'd like that, right? We could just watch movies or silly talk shows on TV, or do some research, there could be that? We never did hit that case before everything went crazy back here. And I mean it doesn't even begin to matter that we can't have...that we won't... not in comparison to what Mel's gonna have to go through. He really loves her doesn't he? Adam I mean? Its amazing to see how people form relationships. I never thought about it from the outside. It never really clicked, even Epiphany and Nathan and jeez who saw that coming right? Not me? Probably not anyone, funny how love happens isn't it. Crazy really especially in a place like this, all the different worlds and stuff coming together..."
Yeah so she was babbling, so sue her. Maybe she needed to babble. "...I need to feed Schmoopie, so, I'll do that and make you that egg and do you want more coffee after that. I should get on that." she said moving to pull away from him. She didn't want him to see how much it was affecting her. Because it shouldn't even bother her. It didn't really even bother her. It was stupid. They should never have wasted time getting it checked out. They had better things to do with their lives than worry about impossibilities. She'd go about her life like a normal person, feed the dog. Sit with her husband.
Thinking like she had been was dangerous. Thinking like she had a chance at motherhood, she'd given up that idea over eight centuries ago for a reason she didn't even remember. For some deal involving witchcraft and a demon whore who used witches as her bread and butter in the real world. Then obviously the deal had come due and she'd been dragged to hell. That was her first memory, the hellhounds. How could she expect to be mother to a kid when her first memory was of vicious cruel animals that tore people apart for kicks. How could she teach any kid to be good, to have a normal life when its Mom was a monster. It was better that she couldn't and better that she didn't think like that again. It was a stupid plan.