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Elphaba isn't the wicked witch you're looking for ([info]tothewesternsky) wrote in [info]wariscoming,
@ 2011-01-27 21:11:00

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Entry tags:elphaba, galinda

Who: Elphaba and Galinda
What: Freaking out and getting a vision that doesn't really help
When: Tonight after getting back from the search for Bonnie
Where: Elphie's room (the attic)
Warning: F for freaking out, V for vision and L for language.



Ever since receiving Bonnie's last text, a plea for help, Elphaba had been growing increasingly agitated. By now, she was pacing incessantly around her room, rubbing her hands together and talking both to herself and Galinda. Her two monkeys merely sat on the window sill watching her in confusion. As she turned and paced back to the other side of the room, she suddenly heard something. It was much like a whisper on the wind, a lot like when she had the vision about Nessa being in trouble. It sounded like Bonnie calling to her. Elphaba abruptly stopped pacing and stared off at the wall, her face contorting in confusion. "What?" The images came in a jumble and they were hazy. But she could make out Bonnie. Placing a hand to her forehead, Elphaba concentrated hard on what she was seeing. Bonnie looked to be fearful of someone. She shrunk away from someone, then a black figure obscured the picture in her mind's eye. Then just as suddenly as it had come, the vision was gone.

In shock and dismay, Elphaba staggered backwards and her back met the wall, her dark eyes wide and fixed on the far wall. "Oh sweet Oz," she whispered as her legs couldn't hold her up anymore and she slid down the wall until she was sitting on the floor. Tears welled up in her eyes. Bonnie was in serious trouble, but Elphaba hadn't seen enough to know where Bonnie was. Only that she was in trouble. Why did her precognition do this to her? Why did it never seem to give her enough warning to actually make a difference? And why now did it have to be so vague? It could have at least given her a view of the interior of wherever Bonnie was, but she didn't even get that. At least when she foresaw Nessa's death, she had a lot of detail, but not enough time to get there and save her sister. What would come this time?


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[info]with_a_ga
2011-01-28 03:20 am UTC (link)
Galinda was tired. They had searched high and low for Bonnie, but nothing. Typical. The brat just disappeared and made Elphie worry. No, that wasn't fair. It wasn't Bonnie's fault. But no doubt the other witch would be thinking just that if the roles were reversed. Not like she'd help. At least Galinda had helped in the search despite her on going war with Bonnie over who was Elphie's best friend.

Once they were back, Galinda had gone downstairs and made tea for anyone who wanted it and then it was back up to the attic to keep Elphie company. She couldn't just leave her best friend in such a state. It wasn't right. She needed someone and that someone was her. She had even said so. Something Galinda never thought would be possible.

So while Elphie spoke to her and herself, Galinda would respond the best she knew how. But then the green skinned witch was trembling and Galinda was off the bed in a matter of seconds, catching Elphaba in her arms.

"What is it, Elphie?"

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[info]tothewesternsky
2011-01-28 03:39 am UTC (link)
The instant she felt Galinda's arms around her, Elphaba slid her arms around the other witch, clinging to her. She was trembling, much like she had when she'd chosen to stand against the Wizard, only this time, she wasn't going to fly off to start a one woman rebellion. All she wanted was to find Bonnie and then give her one big piece of her mind.

"I...I had a vision..." She said, drawing in a sharp breath. Finally, she blinked and tore her gaze away from the wall and looked at her friend. "I saw Bonnie. She was so..so scared." Again, she took a deep breath, trying to keep herself from hyperventilating. "There was someone with her, closing in on her. I don't know who and I don't know where." She clung to Galinda and closed her eyes, recalling the images she'd just seen. After a few moments, she opened them again. "What good is this damn power if it doesn't give me anything helpful?"

Though one thing did come from it. They knew Bonnie had been kidnapped now. But unfortunately they weren't any closer to finding her. Elphaba would be damned before she lost someone else in her life, but what more could she possibly do?

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[info]with_a_ga
2011-01-28 03:50 am UTC (link)
Hearing that Elphie had had a vision, Galinda gasped softly and stroked her hair as she spoke. The brunette was obviously distressed over what she had seen, so Galinda did the only thing that seemed to make sense. She comforted Elphie to the best of her ability. True, her experience had been getting presents, but she'd seen servants in her home do this for their children and it worked so that was what Galinda would do. She couldn't just leave Elphie, after all.

"But we know she's alive still, that has to count for something." Maybe it was Bonnie who Galinda should have locked in a room. But that wouldn't have gone well either. Hell, the dark skinned witch's words still stung the blond. Whereas Elphaba had apologized for that crazy time, Bonnie hadn't. Which meant she thought that Galinda wasn't a good witch. Well she might not be the best, but she was learning..

"I know we'll find her." Kissing Elphie's head, Galinda rested her head on the taller woman's shoulder. It was calming, even if Galinda didn't understand why.

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[info]tothewesternsky
2011-01-28 04:08 am UTC (link)
Even now, Elphaba still found this kind of embrace strange. While she wouldn't ever complain or say as much outloud, she'd never experienced what a hug was until Galinda had begun glomping her left and right. She could still count on one hand the number of people she'd hugged in her life. Yet as Galinda stroked her hair and held her like that, she couldn't help but find peace and comfort there like she'd never known before. It was extremely comforting to her that Galinda was holding her like this. Her arms loosened slightly around Galinda, now simply hugging her instead of clinging to her.

"It does," she replied. Though she couldn't help but wonder just how long that would last. Elphaba could never tell exactly how much time she had between getting a vision and the scenario actually playing out in life. All she knew was that they had to act quickly to ensure that Bonnie would be all right. Again, she closed her eyes and rested her head on Galinda's shoulder, letting herself savor the embrace. It was a little strange to her how quickly she opened up and responded to the blonde's touch, but she welcomed any comfort that could be given.

"Thank you." She meant those words in more than one way. Elphaba was no fool, she knew Galinda didn't really like Bonnie and vice versa, but she was thankful that Galinda was helping in the search. She also was thankful for the company. Oz knew if the smaller witch hadn't been there with her, Elphaba would have flown off the handle. Again. It was a bit amazing to her how safe she felt, how loved she felt right then. Inwardly, she couldn't help but start to wonder about that. There had been only one other time when she'd felt something similar to this.

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[info]with_a_ga
2011-01-28 04:25 am UTC (link)
"You don't need to thank me, Elphie." Galinda had come a long way from the selfish child she'd been when she had first met Elphaba. Stars, Elphaba was the reason she had changed. Yes, she still loved being the center of attention and she still loved being loved, but she also knew that wasn't the be all end all of things. So while she was out of her element, Galinda still had Elphaba and that was all that mattered to her. It was why she was so set against Bonnie stealing her spot. Because without Elphaba, Galinda was afraid she'd cease to exist.

It was awkward, though. Mostly because Galinda wasn't used to sitting still for so long. Even now, she was absently rubbing Elphaba's arm, if only to have some sort of movement. She didn't know how to be otherwise. Her limbs felt heavy and disconnect. She had to move. Otherwise she'd lose it. And it wouldn't do Elphaba any good if she were worrying about her on top of Bonnie. Because Elphaba would make herself sick with worry.

Stroking Elphaba's hair with her one hand and rubbing her arm with her other, Galinda began to hum the song they had danced to at the Ozdust ballroom. Why it was burned in her memory, Galinda didn't know, but it was something and a means to comfort her best friend.

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[info]tothewesternsky
2011-01-28 04:40 am UTC (link)
"I know, but that's what makes me so nice." She couldn't help but crack a little smile, remembering when Galinda had said the same to her about making her her project. While she did sometimes mock Galinda when she repeated such things, this time she said it with the utmost sincerity. True, Elphaba hadn't exactly wanted to be popular, but through her "training" she'd come to see that not all people were stuck up. And she'd gained the best friend she'd ever had.

Even without Galinda saying as much, Elphaba sensed her need for movement. The woman was always moving some part of her body. Early on, Elphaba had wondered if Galinda had a disorder, and thought it to be really distracting. But she'd grown used to the mannerisms. Hell, she'd adapted some of them. There were times when the green skinned witch couldn't sit still. All day she had been on the move, unable to stay still. At least until now with the blonde's arms around her. If it wasn't for this, she'd undoubtedly be wearing a path in the wood of the floor from her pacing.

When Galinda started humming, the brunette instantly recognized the tune. Even though it had been five years since she'd been at the Ozdust ballroom with Galinda, that night was burned into her memory. That had been the first time people had come to even accept her and stop staring and making fun of her. Well, at least after Galinda had started dancing with her.

"You know, I like that song." The comforting efforts were helping. Her mind wasn't so focused on Bonnie at that moment, which was a good thing. There would undoubtedly be nothing they could do until after they got some rest anyways. Elphaba smiled gently, rubbing the witch's back gently.

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[info]with_a_ga
2011-01-28 04:53 am UTC (link)
Normally Galinda would pout at the mocking words, but it was obvious by Elphaba's tone that she wasn't mocking her. For once. No, that wasn't true. Elphaba had a lot of patience for her. After all, she was still trying to teach the blond sorcery. Something that at times seemed to be impossible until they had found where Galinda's niche was. Surprisingly it wasn't with fashion but protection. Something she should have done for Bonnie, if only because Elphaba cared about her. But how could Galinda know that Bonnie was in danger if Bonnie didn't talk to her? Not that Galinda had given her much reason to do so.

"Well it's true." Smirking slightly, Galinda knew it was her own weak attempt at a joke to try and alleviate some of the tension in the air. It didn't sit well with the blond. She could feel the heaviness in the air and it was suffocating and Galinda didn't like being suffocated. It wasn't a pleasant feeling.

And then Elphaba was commenting on the song and Galinda smiled into her humming.

"So do I." It was true, Galinda would randomly hum the song, especially when she was upset. It was calming and reminded her of what she and Elphaba had become from where they had been. It was comforting, which was why she chose it.

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[info]tothewesternsky
2011-01-28 05:16 am UTC (link)
True there were times when Elphaba would mock Galinda, but those were usually only when she was upset with the blonde. But after seeing that Galinda wasn't so bad, she did have a lot of patience. Thinking back on their time at Shiz, she couldn't help but think of how much she learned. Galinda had taught her how to be a friend, how to trust people, how to have fun. Up until then, all Elphaba really did was read and take care of Nessa.

She smiled, chuckling softly. "Guess we both go well together, then." She gently squeezed the blonde in her arms. She took a deep breath, feeling a bit calmer now than she had before. As the talk turned to the song, she couldn't help but pull back gently.

"Do you still remember the dance?" Why she wanted to dance, she didn't know, but something about that song just made her want to relive that moment. Even with all the other people there, for those few moments, Galinda was the only other person in her universe. She smiled a bit wider, the smile tinged with a gentleness that Elphaba rarely ever showed. "Would you join me in this dance?" She hadn't even waited for Galinda to respond to her first question before asking the second.

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[info]with_a_ga
2011-01-28 05:29 am UTC (link)
"Well, pink does go good with green." It was true. Galinda was always in some shade of pink and Elphaba was, well, green. And they complimented one another, and as Elphaba had decided to reference the night of the dance, it was only fair that Galinda retaliate with her comment about pink and green. Only this time, there was no flower to put in the green skinned woman's hair.

Blinking as Elphaba pulled away, Galinda was about to pull her back to her to comforting her when she heard the question. Yet before she could even respond about there was another question. And one that Galinda hadn't expected to hear. After all, Bonnie was missing and Elphaba wanted to dance? But if it calmed her down? Well, Galinda wouldn't deny Elphaba that.

"Of course I remember, and of course I'll dance with you." Smiling, Galinda jumped up and began to dance, expertly recalling the motions of the dance they had shared.

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[info]tothewesternsky
2011-01-28 05:49 am UTC (link)
Elphaba couldn't help but roll her eyes in a playful manner. "You are the master at matching colors." That was as close to admitting that pink went well with green as Elphaba would get. She did wonder if Galinda would take that as a victory or as a challenge to make her like pink. The aversion to the color mostly came from the fact it was a bright and perky color, and Elphaba was anything but perky.

It was bad timing to dance, but Elphaba needed to calm down before she accidentally threw someone else out a window. Or had an aneurism. Whichever came first, really. Besides, she could never think when she was that worked up. And who knew, maybe if she calmed down enough, she could get a better premonition, or see something knew in the one she had.

Smiling warmly, Elphaba rose to her feet and began to dance, acting like a perfect mirror to Galinda. She even hummed the song as she danced, letting herself unwind a little. As she danced, she looked at Galinda, gazing into her eyes a bit. It was as though some type of enchantment fell over her then. She felt as though she could fall into Galinda's eyes, and she found herself wondering what lurked beneath the surface.

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[info]with_a_ga
2011-01-28 06:04 am UTC (link)
"Ha, I told you!" Grinning in victory, Galinda jumped up and down slightly in her victory. It felt so good to move again and not be sitting still, or as still as Galinda would ever sit. Even so, she was already up and thus jumping up and down in excitement at her victory. Though she did still plan to make Elphaba like the color pink. It was a mission she had had since she and Elphaba had become friends. And like hell was she going to stop now.

Smiling brightly, Galinda mirrored Elphaba, humming along as well. Of course, she was totally unaware of what Elphaba was thinking about as they locked eyes. All Galinda knew was that she was happy dancing with her best friend and that, despite the situation at hand, this was a good night. After all, she had spent the past few days mad at her best friend for worrying her, but she was over that now. Elphie was fine. She didn't need to worry. All they had to do was dance.

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[info]tothewesternsky
2011-01-28 06:23 am UTC (link)
There was the typical jumping up and down. Elphaba could only shake her head at the victory dance. Why did it have to be pink? Why not a nice shade of navy blue? Or some shade of red? Pink was so...girly. But she knew Galinda would never stop trying to get her to like pink, so she would either need to fight against it for the rest of her life, or at some point find some compromise with the blonde. It was yet to be determined which way that would go, only time would tell.

The smile widened as she danced, merely going back to the beginning when she got to the end of the movements. She was glad that Galinda didn't seem to be mad at her anymore. It didn't feel right when one of them was upset with the other. Well, while Elphaba may say differently about them in the time she'd come from, right here and now, she didn't want anything bad between them. She wanted to see Galinda's smile, the one that was currently on her face. Galinda looked so radiant when she smiled like that.

That thought snapped Elphaba out of her reverie a little, but not enough to where she faltered in her dance or caused her smile to fall. Why was she thinking such a thing about her best friend? It was an odd realization, but she couldn't stop to ponder over it right now. That would come later when she had a moment alone with her thoughts. "I wonder if there's a place here like the Ozdust ballroom," she wondered. Being social wasn't her forte, but perhaps she and Galinda could use a few hours of dancing sometime to blow off steam. Of course, Elphaba would have to use that charm spell to degreen herself to blend in with the "normal" people, but she didn't mind. She did wonder what Galinda thought of her degreened. She'd used that spell a couple times now in front of the blonde witch, and for some reason she felt really self-conscious about not being green in front of Galinda.

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[info]with_a_ga
2011-01-29 02:52 am UTC (link)
Galinda was oblivious to Elphaba's thoughts. All she knew was that she was dancing and moving and it was glorious. Giggling as she turned, the blond went back to the beginning and started the dance yet again. It was still an odd time to be dancing, but it seemed to be helping Elphaba calm down and Galinda enjoyed dancing. She'd always done it as a child when she could get away with it. Which was often. Classes had been a chance to meet people and make new friends. So she didn't mind the dance classes.

Hearing the question, Galinda blinked then shrugged. After all, she didn't know about the dancing locations of this place.

"I don't know... We should find out!" Because finding a dance hall would be wonderful. They could go and make friends (but not so good of friends as to replace the other) and enjoy themselves. And Galinda could learn new dances and teach them to Elphaba!

Elphie de-greened was strange but it wasn't a bad strange. She fit in well when she wasn't green. But as a general rule, Galinda liked her best friend true to herself. Which meant green. But going out in public while she wasn't green was also nice.

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[info]tothewesternsky
2011-01-29 04:49 am UTC (link)
Most of the time, Elphaba would just be perfectly content to sit somewhere with a good book, or do some work of some sort. Elphaba was one of those people who had enjoyed school and excelled at it. She'd always gotten good grades, but it wasn't the grades she cared about. It was the knowledge, and giving herself challenges. Being a dancer was not something she was very good at, but when she did dance, she would dance like no one was watching.

"We should! I haven't really looked at what people do for fun around here, but there must be something around here." And even if there wasn't, she could always fly them both to another city where there was something to do.

As she went through the dance again, she spun around, then she suddenly stopped altogether, her gaze looking over at her bed. A corner of the Grimmerie was sticking out from under her bed. Suddenly, her expression fell. Perhaps there was some sort of locator spell or something in the book, but Elphaba was a bit afraid to use the book. Letting out a heavy sigh, she went over and picked the book up, then sunk down onto the bed, setting the book on her lap. "I don't know what to do. I don't know if there's a locator spell in here or not, but I'm afraid to try one." The fact of the matter was, she didn't want to cast a spell and then realize there was some dire side-effect of the spell. Without realizing it, she used her hand to flip some of her long dark hair over her shoulder. She then looked up at Galinda, feeling completely helpless. "Do you have any ideas?" Yes she knew Galinda was still in the learning stages, but Elphaba did value her opinion. And who knew, maybe Galinda could say something that would spark something in her.

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[info]with_a_ga
2011-01-30 01:29 am UTC (link)
"Oh, it will be so much fun!" Pausing in her dancing, Galinda jumped up and down and clapped her hands together, giggling. To be able to go to another dance like the one at the Ozdust Ballroom would be astounding! She loved such settings and going with her bestest friend in the whole world? Well, it would be amazing, "And we can bring Caroline and Elena.. and Bonnie." Yes, Bonnie was an after thought but it wouldn't be nice to leave her out, even if the witch hated Galinda and vice versa. But wasn't that how she and Elphie had started out?

But then Elphaba's expression faltered and Galinda cursed herself for mentioning the missing witch, convinced that was what had put a damper on Elphaba's mood. So instead, she moved over to the bed and sat down, folding a leg under herself, reaching over and holding the green skinned woman's hand. Of course, she wasn't expecting to be asked if she had any ideas. It wasn't Galinda's specialty, coming up with spells or plans to help people.

"I... I don't know. I could try a protection spell, but the last time I did that, you ended up locked in your room.. it could put her more at risk...." Looking down, Galinda sighed. She was pathetic. She didn't know what to tell Elphaba and she couldn't do anything to help. It just wasn't fair.

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[info]tothewesternsky
2011-01-30 04:54 am UTC (link)
"Then it's settled. After Bonnie is back safe and sound, and properly reprimanded for not listening to me, we'll all go out and have fun." Because she had to think positively, even though Elphaba rarely ever did think like that. She had tended to think negatively about nearly everything in her life. When it came to situations like this one, she couldn't help but think negatively as time continued to pass with no solid leads.

Elphaba looked at Galinda once the blonde settled beside her on the bed. She held her hand, taking in a deep breath. Writing spells was definitely not her strong point. She hadn't even thought new spells could be made until she'd met Bonnie. To the best of her ability, Elphaba didn't think there was a spell in the Grimmerie for this. As she'd learned, there wasn't a spell for everything. Sometimes she hated that fact.

When Galinda said she could try a protection spell, Elphaba at first thought it could put Bonnie at more risk. But just before she was going to say as much, she remembered that damned bubble that Galinda had traveled by in the time she was from. "Wait!" Suddenly, Elphaba leapt up, the Grimmerie falling to the floor with a thud. "There might be something you can do. I just need to help you figure out how to do it. In the time I'm from, you traveled around in a bubble thing. Maybe we can make it so it can keep her from harm until we're able to find her." Yes, it had to work. The only trick was Elphaba didn't really know how the bubble had come into existence to begin with, so it would be difficult for her to try and re-create it. "Yes, we can try that. It might by us some time to find her." There was a spark in her eyes again. While she had seemed so down moments ago, she was now starting to fire on all cylinders again. Sometimes she just needed that one spark to get going, and Galinda had provided her with it.

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[info]with_a_ga
2011-01-30 05:05 am UTC (link)
Nodding at Elphie's words about going out and having some fun, Galinda fell silent. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to say, especially given the current situation. She hated not talking. Or moving. She felt so uncomfortable just being silent and still. It was unnerving. But what could she do? Elphie needed her calm and collected and so help her, Galinda would be calm and collected, even if it killed her! Which... it very well could. Galinda had never done so before so who knew what would happen.

But then the witch from the future was talking about bubbles and recreating it so that Bonnie would be safe.

"Um, okay?" Because, what was she supposed to say? It wasn't like Galinda knew anything about the bubble, let alone how to create it. Though technically that had been what she'd been trying to do for Elphaba in the first place. Just.. on a bigger scale. Maybe if she focused on a smaller scale she could recreate it. But would it work if Bonnie weren't there with her to put it around her?

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[info]tothewesternsky
2011-01-30 05:26 am UTC (link)
Yes, she probably sounded like a crazy person, but she was slightly crazed at the moment. Elphaba would grab at any straw given to her right now, no matter how far-fetched or small it was. She didn't like sitting around idle when someone she cared about was in danger. But this was nothing compared to what she'd be like if Galinda had been the one kidnapped. If that had been the case, Elphaba most likely would have killed people by this point and truly earned the title of wicked witch.

"The trick is just trying to figure out how to do it. I don't really know how it was created in the first place." She'd assumed it was the Wizard's invention since Madame Morrible's specialty was weather. "When you tried putting that protection spell on me, were you trying to make a bubble?" She wasn't going to get upset about that whole incident again. There had been apologies on both parts, and Elphaba did know that Galinda had just been trying to help her. She bent down and picked the Grimmerie up and set it on the bed. Aside from this, she really had no idea what trick she could try.

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[info]with_a_ga
2011-01-31 05:13 am UTC (link)
While Elphaba did sound like a crazy person, Galinda let it pass. After all, she was stressing even if the person who she was stressing about didn't deserve it. But what could Galinda do? Elphaba didn't like to be told what to do or who she could talk to so Galinda wasn't going to say anything. For whatever reason, the green skinned woman liked the bitchy witch and there was nothing Galinda could do to change that, so she wasn't going to even try. Instead, she'd support her best friend and just deal with it, all the while making sure that she was Elphie's best friend and not some impostor.

Shrugging at the comment on how to create it, Galinda sighed. It wasn't like she'd been around for it so she had no idea. But then there was the question and the blond blinked.

"I... don't know. I just wanted to keep you protected, I wasn't focusing on any sort of means of it. Just the idea." Which was probably what part of the problem had been. Galinda didn't have a set goal in her mind, just a broad one, so the spell went haywire. "I can try to focus on a bubble around Bonnie, though?" It was worth a shot. Not like they'd know it worked or not. Especially given the unknown distance between the three witches.

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[info]tothewesternsky
2011-01-31 05:44 am UTC (link)
If there was one thing Elphaba truly hated feeling like, it was helpless, and that's how she was currently feeling. Her vision was not helpful beyond knowing Bonnie was alive as of the moment she got it. It was at this moment that she wished she still thought that she was unlimited. But the truth of the matter was, she was limited. She couldn't save Fiyero or Nessa. Would Bonnie soon be counted among them? That thought alone elicited a soft pleading sob from Elphaba. She clamped a hand over her mouth and pinched her eyes shut. No. Bonnie would come out of this alive.

Drawing in a deep breath, Elphaba opened her eyes and lowered her hand after a few moments. Nodding a bit as Galinda explained her thought process for the spell, she pondered for a moment. "That could work if you tried to focus on a bubble around Bonnie." She went and kneeled down in front of Galinda, taking the blonde's hands in her own and looked up into her eyes. "You can do it, I know you can. I believe in you." And she really did. There wasn't much left that she believed in, but Galinda was someone she believed in. Even in the rocky time she'd come from, she had still believed in Galinda, she just kept it secret. Then again they really didn't have a chance to be close after she turned against the Wizard, and especially after Fiyero had chosen her over the blonde.

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[info]with_a_ga
2011-02-01 10:40 pm UTC (link)
"Elphie...." The word was spoken softly as Elphaba made the pitiful sobbing noise. Galinda didn't know how to respond to that. Elphaba was strong, much stronger than the blond. But she didn't know the details, just that both Fiyero and Nessa had died in the future and the green skinned witch blamed herself for it. True, she was avoiding learning about the future, but she knew some things.

Feeling the hands grasping her own, Galinda blinked. It was rare that Elphaba initiated contact. So it caught the blond off guard. But then she was talking about how she had faith in her and that put a lot of pressure on the petite witch, which was something she didn't like at all. But what could she do.

"I can try... but I should probably try on a smaller scale to make sure I don't something wrong and do more bad than good...."

Someone had to be rational, and while it wasn't Galinda's strong point, Elphaba was too invested in this, too emotionally attached. So it was up to the bubbly blond to be the rational one.

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[info]tothewesternsky
2011-02-02 12:36 am UTC (link)
The strong one. That was Elphaba, then again she wouldn't have gotten very far in life had she not been strong. No one else had ever taken care of her, so from a young age, she just had to toughen up and do it herself. But even the strong have points of weakness, cracks in their armor. Right now, Elphaba had a very large crack in hers. Everywhere she went, she always carried the weight of her past with her. She felt so much guilt over the death's of Nessa and Fiyero. Elphaba especially felt Nessa's death because the last words she'd ever spoken to her sister were ones of hate. Even though her words had been true, Nessa had never once thanked her or been satisfied with what Elphaba had done for her, Elphaba still hated that those had been the last words her sister had ever heard from her.

And Fiyero. He had sacrificed himself for her. In her desperation to save him, she had cast the first spell that had seemed remotely helpful, but it had to have been too little too late. What would Galinda think of her if she told her the truth about Fiyero? She was so afraid to find out. She really didn't want the blonde witch to hate her and end up the way they had been when she'd arrived in this world.

All these bad thoughts swirled around in her head. Sometimes Fiyero and Nessa even haunted her dreams, along with all the other people she'd "wronged." Sniffing, Elphaba squeezed Galinda's hands, mostly to keep herself focused on the here and now. She nodded, keeping her gaze on her friend's. In that moment, Elphaba looked so frail, her eyes so deeply sad and troubled. The only other time she'd felt like this was when she'd cast that spell to try to save Fiyero. But that time, only her monkeys had borne witness to her emotional side.

"That would be a good idea. Maybe you could try it out on me. Or one of my monkeys." She took a deep breath, trying to get ahold of herself again. She couldn't fall apart, not until they found Bonnie and knew whether the witch was dead or alive. But at the rate that Elphaba blamed herself and carried guilt around, she really could only take so much.

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