WHO: Caroline Forbes (OTA if anyone wants) WHEN: December 19 | 4:55 pm WHERE: A park WHAT: Watching the sunset and thinking about her wish STATUS: Complete (unless someone wants to join in) RATING: PG
Caroline sat alone in the park; she needed the fresh air to help clear her mind. It was full, full to the bursting. Ever since that stupid bauble thing had appeared in her room, offering to grant her a wish, she felt like she was going to be sick. A wish - any wish. She was pale, her lips were cracked and there were huge bags under her eyes – Caroline really did look like death. She hadn’t been able to eat, or drink, or do much of anything. The thought that she could be human again…she couldn’t wrap her mind around it.
She could be human! She could grow up, she could get married, start a family, have kids – be normal. Maybe things between her and Bonnie would get better than. And with the rest of her human friends. And as a human she wouldn’t hurt anyone, there would be no risk of that.
Jacen was right though. In this place, asking to turn back into a human didn’t make sense. At least as a vampire she could protect her friends, she could fight. If she was human she wouldn’t be good at any of that. As a human, she really was useless. No matter what Damon said now, he had been right, she had been shallow and selfish and never smiled for herself.
When she was turned, nothing really seemed to matter. Asides from her friends, and Matt. The fake was gone, despite feeling weird and neurotic, she felt more herself than she ever had in her life. Whoever Caroline Forbes was.
A part of her liked being a vampire. She was stronger now, more confident. But the drinking blood part, the living forever? Who really wanted to live forever? It sounded nice to say, but when she thought about it Caroline wasn’t so sure.
Her thoughts kept going back to what she had seen in the future. If she was human again, that definitely wouldn’t happen. But if she stayed a vampire, and learned to control herself, and her powers. Then it wouldn’t either, right? She could protect her friends, without having to do …that.
Now that was all that mattered to her. The glimpse of the future had terrified her. In all honesty she wasn’t sure she could ever look Sam Winchester in the eye. It wasn’t his fault, she knew that. It was her’s; she was the one who made the deal – the mistake.
If she was a vampire she could protect them. And maybe there would be a cure in the future, like from Hannibal’s world. Maybe in time she’d die anyways, a stake to the heart, magic gone wrong…something. Was there really such a thing as forever?
Would anyone get it (other than Jacen, and maybe Damon) if she decided to stay a vampire? It wouldn’t be easy. The thought of having to watch Bonnie grow old and die broke her heart. Knowing she’d lose all her friends eventually. How did they do it? Stefan, Damon, Angel and Spike? How could they keep going on like that?
She sighed, closing her eyes, and trying to ignore how hungry she was. Blood was the last thing she wanted to think about right now, even though she knew if she didn’t get some soon…it would be bad.
She made a mental note to go to the butcher on the way home. Maybe she'd mix the blood with crackers or something and pretend it was tomato soup, even if it would taste so much better than any soup could possibly taste.
It was getting colder, but Caroline didn’t care. She just sat on the park bench, staring at the empty playground, shivering and for the first time in a long time missing her mother. Missing the times when they got along, when her mother would hold her and tell her everything would be okay, even though it wasn’t.
Caroline sniffed, wiping a tear from her cheek. She understood now, the value of human life. It wasn’t something to be taken for granted; it was something to be cherished and to be lived to the fullest. If the situation wasn’t so grim, Caroline would have laughed, she was starting to think like Doctor Phil.
She was also scared. More scared than she had been in a very long time. She squeezed her eyes shut, but this time tears leaked out and she choked back a sob. In the back of her head she already knew what she was going to do, but the rest of her – her heart in particular wasn’t ready to accept it just yet. And maybe it never would.