seeley booth (hates_clowns) wrote in wariscoming, @ 2010-12-17 21:46:00 |
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Entry tags: | seeley booth |
Who: Seeley Booth
What: Vacation times [narrative]
When: tonight
Where: Hawaii.
Warnings: shouldn't be high
The amount of willpower it took to not check his phone was ridiculous. He knew Lavender was right. He would never in a million years admit it out loud, but he knew none the less. He was too connected. Which was strange for him. When he first arrived, he remembered being against technology. Lately he'd become immersed in it. He was attached to his computer almost three hours a day. Not including the computer time he already put in at the FBI. It was getting out of hand. He virtually did nothing but work. The boards weren't fun for him like they might have once been, they were a tool for him to protect the people he cared about. But it was becoming a problem. Seeley was taking things too personally. He knew he had to step back, but he didn't even like the idea that people he cared about could be in trouble.
He didn't have super vampire powers like Angel, or whatever. He didn't have heat vision like Superman. He was just a guy. When he saw something that could potentially be dangerous on the boards, it was almost like being given a warning to prevent something terrible from happening. Sweets called it White Knight syndrome. Booth rolled his eyes as he remembered that particular lecture once upon a time. Sweets lectures got to him sometimes, stuck with him. If he ever saw him again he'd have to remember to snark at him for it. He'd been so skeptical of the young shrink when he was first called into his office back in Washington D.C. He was barely out of college, but when it came to psychology he had several doctorates, but not only that the guy was basically a human lie detector test with legs. He could tell when people were lying just by the slightest movement, and it had impressed Booth. They'd formed a strange professional friendship. Booth after almost a year of rejecting anything that wasn't his previous psychologists advice, started taking Sweets seriously and in the long run it helped.
He remembered the things said to him, and didn't block out everything at least. As obnoxious as it could be at times, often he was right. Booth couldn't protect everyone. It just wasn't possible. To think that he could was too much. It weighed heavily on his shoulders and started effecting his own quality of life. That was when he knew it was wrong. When he woke up almost every day and glared at the sunlight bleeding through his window, he knew something had to change. He couldn't save the world by himself. He couldn't live anyone's life for them. He had to start living for himself. Taking his own well being into account. Of course none of this was going to happen over night, even in a beautiful place like Hawaii where he had time to himself for the first time in what seemed like ages, it would take adjustment. It would take time, and probably effort. At times he was going to hate it.
The sun was setting over the water. Booth was leaning against the railing of their second story balcony just watching as if mesmerized by the subtle dimming glow. It was an amazing place. Everything was so still, and Booth didn't have to worry about demons or angels, in that moment he was focusing on just living. Being completely relaxed. Letting his worries drift away and soaking in the tropical warmth. The Maitai in his hand running low, he let that final guarding mental thought block down and just existed in the warm air. It was absolute paradise.