Seeley was playing the avoidance game with most people since they'd arrived. He'd spoken to them online, sure. But in person he wasn't sure he could look them in the eyes after everything that'd happened. After everything he'd done. Or didn't do. He wasn't sure what it was anymore. But he was sure of one thing, he couldn't lead again. If that was their future with him as their leader, almost certain death then how could anyone ask him to do it again? It wasn't fair. He did everything he could to keep them alive, and too many of them died anyway.
He felt sick to his stomach, he wasn't sure drinking was the right road to solving that problem, but it was a start. He walked toward the bar Lav had picked out. It wasn't his and Eliot's typical joint, it was something different nad new. Something not many would even think of happening across because of it's distance to the complex. Normally Seeley would have drove, but he couldn't stop walking. It helped preoccupy his mind.
It was cold out, but that didn't stop him. He didn't have a jacket, but he didn't really care enough. That would have meant going back to the complex and facing his demons. Booth just wasn't sure he was ready for that yet. His eyes were tired, his hands were tense from the chilled air. It was November. Nobody around them even understood what was going on. Seeley didn't know how to feel about that. He should have been relived that he still had a job with the feds, that his friends in the building were still safe and alive. But he just couldn't bring himself to pick out an emotion that wasn't swimming in a sea of confusion.
It all felt so real. Hadn't the angels given up fucking with them yet? Booth ran a hand through his hair as he stopped finally infront of the bar door. He mentally checked himself before taking another step forward to make sure he wasn't going to punch the next face he saw, and finally pushed open the door to the place.
It was funny. The warmth of the inside of the building should have touched him, but Seeley had never felt colder or more empty inside then he did seeing those people in that bar. He'd failed and he knew it. Nothing but failure. It was almost like a sick twisted joke that they were all oblivious, and Booth had to tear his eyes away from them to find the girl he was supposed to meet. The friend he could count on even after everything went down..
His eyes found her and he forced himself to calm down from his moment of panic and walk toward her. Settling down in the seat beside her heavily, he flagged down a bar tender and sighed. "Something hard."