WHO: Buffy Summers and Seeley Booth WHEN: July 14 ; mid-afternoon WHERE: Their place in the camp WHAT: Buffy is finally willing to try the talking thing (took her long enough right?) STATUS: Incomplete RATING: TBA
Buffy had never meant to hurt Booth. Really she hadn’t. Pushing him away, had become a reflex, it wasn’t intentional; it was something that just happened – happened without her even realizing it. She had tried everything she could, to not fall in love with him. She had even tried to rationalize, which was something she hardly ever did. At first she thought she liked him because he looked like Angel, and maybe in the start that was true. So much time had passed since then and now – things had changed.
She loved Booth for Booth now. She knew she wasn’t good at showing that – hell, she tried not to show it. Buffy was a fighter, but she knew that eventually she was going die. That in five more years she would lose him, and there wasn’t a single thing she could do about it. Deep down that that fact should have made her more loving, and less trying to push him away – but it didn’t change anything. For a while Buffy thought if she pushed him away hard enough, it would hurt less when it did actually happen.
What was it with her and falling in love with guys who were damned to hell? First Angel and now Booth? She couldn’t save either of them. It wasn’t fair. If there was something she could do, she would. She’d do it in a heartbeat. She already knew the what she could do. She could be a better girlfriend – if she even qualified for that status anymore.
Buffy walked through the camp, mentally creating a list of everything that was happening. Noting down who was doing what, who was where – in these times it never hurt to be too prepared. Who knew what could happen. She tried to smile at a few of the younger camp members; she couldn’t imagine what it would be like to go through all of this as a kid. Buffy was only 21, and it was a lot to take – but then again this was her life, her destiny.
She ran a hand through her hair, as she entered the cabin they’d been sharing. Why was she nervous about this? Why could she handle being out and fighting zombies, but not this? When had she become so cold.
“Hey,” Buffy said softly, leaning in the doorway to their bedroom. “Can I uh…join you?”