She didn’t know what to make of this past Sam at all, he was looking at her in such wariness and she fully understood why. He shouldn’t have seen this, any of this. This stupid wrong and horrible life. This craziness. He was better than it, by far. She stayed back, looking up when he began to talk but still staying far from him. He’d gotten locked in her Sam’s mind and by extension in Lucifer’s, he probably felt that godawful cold too, so why wouldn’t he let her help him. Did he think he was going to get back, make things better. They didn’t get that lucky. No one ever got that lucky. Not with the world the way it was and Lucifer 100% in charge of everything they did. Sam didn’t like it, didn’t like his own mind, didn’t like this version of her? Well he pretty much had to live with it because nothing was getting any better. This was life now and he’d just have to suck it up and live.
“Yes she’s in here. Your Ruby. Trapped like we trapped countless of women all over the centuries, locked down hard. She’s safe. I want her to be safe, I mean I can’t stop her seeing this, there’s something more powerful than a demon ruling this. But I can protect her best I can. You should let my Sam do the same for you. Why are you fighting this? I don’t understand.” Ruby kept to her tactic of staying as far away from this Sam as she could safely manage while still keeping an eye on him. He wanted to know what happened to her? It was a fairly simple question by all accounts, and she had what she believed was a sensible answer. She was about to tell him that he had happened to her when he did it for her. Saying yes, that’s what had done it.
“Do you really understand?” she asked when he told her that he did, that he realised why she was working for Lucifer. “Do you have any idea how that would have felt, to have the love of your life decide you weren’t enough to keep up the fight for. That because Dean didn’t trust you and Dean wasn’t there for you that the rest of us meant nothing, weren’t enough for you? She cries about it sometimes, inside my head. She can’t imagine you doing that. You’d never be that naive. But then you’re the same Sam aren’t you. Just earlier. Maybe this is your destiny and nothing either of us can do will change it.” There was a lot of bitterness behind those words, more than she had expected, and when he moved closer to her, close enough to touch her cheek all she could do was pull away. She didn’t want gentle from him, she wanted it from her Sam, the Sam that wouldn’t touch her at all. This Sam, who knew what he wanted with her? It’s not that easy Sam. You don’t just get to be all puppy eyed and sorrowful about it all. That’s not...you can’t do that to me, okay. I don’t want that”
Stronger What did he know about stronger? The demon blood, sure it was cruel on her part for him, now that she knew he was trapped in there, but it would help her Sam so much. “Aren’t you cold. Aren’t you just cold enough that its all you can think of to get warm. And then you could let him use his power on me, don’t you....” Don't ask me to do that. Not if you ever cared about me His words actually stopped her in her tracks, of course she knew. She knew full well how bad it would be for this past Sam to get back into the habit. Past her was screaming enough in her head not to let her forget it. And of course she cared about him, them...both Sam’s. But she just wanted to feel him. She just wanted her Sam back. “...I miss him, when he’s not here, when he’s Lucifer, It actually hurts my heart and I never knew what that felt like till we met. You say you won’t say yes, that you can go back and be stronger. How can I know that? How can I guarantee that? You weren’t strong. You let yourself give in and you walked away from our marriage because Dean didn’t back you in the fight. Is that honestly all it takes, I mean I know you two have a closeness I’m never even getting near with you but...I don’t know, I thought I meant enough to you that you’d fight Lucifer as long as you had me. You want me to help you? How do I know I won’t just miss my day with him and send this Ruby back to the same horrible pain he put me through”