Was he lying to her again? Or was he going to stay, was he going to be her husband like he was promising now? She really truly hoped he was and that he wasn’t planning anything. Ruby was hapy enough not to talk about Lucifer, or Azazel, or any of the bad and awful things that had become part of his life too young. But then at the same time, those things had lead him to her, and lead her to finding these feelings that now threatened to rip her apart inside. Not that she’d even change one single bit of it. Ruby moved to release Sam’s wrists from her grip but clamped them down again in shock as he mentioned the cold, and mentioned the blood in such a way that made her wonder if maybe she shouldn’t. If maybe it’d keep him distracted and away from planning escape. Keep him content and then there was the fact that just maybe he could touch her like he used to. Maybe he could feel her. It had been so long. And she had missed it all so very much. She had to let him try. “I’ll let you up Sam” she began, “And maybe you wouldn’t be cold if you drank from me? Do you think that would be a way to keep warm. You could be with me again, like you used to be, do you remember?” One hand freed its grip from Sam, sliding its way down along her side and along her leg to the boots she was wearing, as always she carried a knife there. Just a plain old thing, the important one stayed at her hip.
“Do you want me to cut? My arm, my breast...where did we used to do it, do you remember?” Ever the temptress she supposed sadly, knowing she shouldn’t. Knowing that she should know better and that maybe this would be worse for them. But he’d be something other than this broken shell. She knew he would. Maybe it would bring her Sam back. Just for a little while. “...You know how warm I feel, you know that you can get close to me don’t you Sam. Don’t you want that?”
Her other hand came free in one quick move and moved to balance her, still on top of him, the knife of course rested in her hand as she waited for her husband to speak
Ruby loved this man. And if keeping him with her meant doing this, if it meant betraying everything she knew or wanted to believe then that was what she would do. Stolen moments was all they had now, irony found her straddling him, in tears for all she’d lost. Or maybe it was karma from so much evil left unrepented. Maybe she deserved this pain. Either way she would never walk away from it. Her eyes trailed him for a moment as he mentioned clothing. He would need clothing. That was true. And there was something else he’d said. Sam had said he loved her. And he had said he would stay.
“You’re not going to run away?” she asked him. Worried still, confused. Almost in fear of an answer she didn’t like, but much more confident overall. “This is what I wait for Sam, when I’m with them and I know you’d be disappointed but that it’ll be worth it if you just smile. Just one time when we’re together like this. Or back at the camp when they look at me and I wonder sometimes if they know, if they’re biding their time. The only thing that gets me through is you. Because even though you hurt me. Even though my heart broke that day. I love you too. And that is never going to change”