Ruby still struggled to understand any of this, it wasn’t fair. It was the worst kind of cruelty imaginable and yet he persisted with it. He wanted to die, sure it was all very noble, killing himself so Lucifer would lose his true vessel and be weakened. But it was still unfair. Why should he have to be the one to die? Why was it always them that suffered? Couldn’t they be happy, just for once? “I’m not letting you do it. What? Just because you were stupid enough to say Yes to him in Detroit I deserve to lose my husband? Well tough, cause I’m not accepting it.” He could turn away from her all he wanted, he could hate her for the choices she’d made. But they were her choices, wrong ones cause he’d never explained any of this to her, his choices, his decisions. He’d just said yes and she’d found herself without a husband. It had been cruel if well intentioned and if she had to be cruel now to keep him safe then that was what she’d do. “Did you ever think about me? Or was the hopelessness just too much? I wasn’t enough for you obviously. If I was you’d never have done something so fucking moronic. Or was it Dean, big brother couldn’t trust you the way I did and that was enough. Because he comes first, he always has and you thought what? You could fight the devil with the power of your brotherly co dependency issues?” She lay there for a little while next to him, tears still in her eyes, hoping that maybe her anger would slow him down, maybe all the things she wanted to say and had held back on for near on five years now would help him realise that he needed to trust her now. He needed to be there when Lucifer gave her time with him because otherwise it wasn’t worth it. Otherwise the world wasn’t worth it. “I can’t believe you’d actually ask me to kill you after you already broke my heart. What did I do to deserve any of this Sam?” She asked it partly to keep him where he was but also because she really did want to know. She deserved to know.
The tears kept coming. It was weak to cry like this and it was far from helping her focus on what she wanted this day to be. And if he had any heart left he’d stop this, he’d realise he was tearing her apart and he’d stop. She didn’t want to hurt him. She would never hurt him if she had anything to say about it but she’d made a promise to Lucifer himself, and those weren’t easily broken. It was easier to believe in that than the people telling her Sam needed to die to put him out of his misery. He didn’t need to die, he needed their help and they’d all just given up on him. He’d made a giant colossal mistake, but everyone made mistakes and everyone deserved second chances. So that was what Sam was getting. Ruby had made a vow, a vow that had said for better or for worse as long as they both should live. Well this was worse, yes, but it was also too soon. Too soon to say goodbye to him. Selfish maybe, but she’d live with the character flaw if it meant her husband stayed alive.
Back to the rambling, always with the rambling. Ruby sighed. She got it, of course she got it and she was pleased to know he remembered their love. It was something, she supposed. Much as it hurt. And then of course he pushed to his feet. It was only with her demonic abilities that she was able to push him back, pulling him to lie on his back and swinging one of her legs over him, getting a firm grip on his wrists as she did. “Sam stop this!” she begged him, fury and hurt mingling into one. “I will tie you down if I have to but think about this seriously. Just focus, try and see things from my point of view. We have one day together, I don’t know what caused him to be this generous and I don’t know when I’ll get an opportunity like this again. So please don’t ruin it. Just give me today. You owe me today.” she told him. And he did owe her.
“Just let me have today.” she repeated trying to fight back the tears.