She didn't like when he talked like there was someone else in the room. Because in her mind it was Dean, an invisible presence of Dean that had ultimatly been proved right about his brothers love for a demon. Sam was acting like she was nothing. Like he didn't trust her and she did't know how to reason that in her mind. "So if you're not here, who is it that's with me now. Its not Lucifer. He let go so we could be together for a little while. And maybe that shouldn't be enough for me but its something. Much as that repulses you." she told him bitterly watching as he stripped off the shirt ridding himself of everything that was Lucifer.
"I don't know what you wanted. I don't know if you wanted me to be one of them, griving for you like you were dead and planning to end your life. You'd have done that years ago if that's what you wanted. But you said yes to Lucifer. You let him in and you never told me what to do if you did that. I understood if you were dead. I understood I was meant to help your family. And I would have, I'd have gotten revenge on whoever killed you and gone on like you told me. That made sense. That was right, but this...You never prepared me for this so what was I supposed to do? You weren't dead. You're not dead. So stop pretending like you are and be my husband again, just for a little while"
She always rambled when she was nervous and she was more than a little nervous at the whole thing. "You might not have wanted me to work for him, but I do. I have to. Its the only way we get times like this. Don't make it for nothing." she said, almost begging him to help her. Because this was torture worse than anything she'd ever known.
The shirt was gone, and he was telling Ruby that maybe she'd never known him. That wasn't true. It wasn't, of course she knew him. She'd given her heart to him, and she wasn't locked away inside him, touching as it was. She was right here, the outcome of his decisions and her own confusion at the concept of what he'd done.
"Can't you keep me in your heart and also realise that its still me out here. Stuff got hard after Detroit, people changed, you don't always see it, or maybe he lets you, I don't know. But life got... Everyone had their plans, everyone has the people in their hearts they love. Chuck and Jo are pretty much forever, your parents the same, and I guess I got jealous sometimes. Like how come they could have snatched moments of happiness and all I had was an empty space beside me on the bed where you should be. You never tell me why? Why you said yes? But its obvious, Dean was in danger and you played the same pathetic self saccrifice card one or the other of you always plays"
Bitter, most definitely. But at the same time true. The Winchesters weakness, their greatest weakness in fact, had always been each other.