Who: Booth and Eliot What: Bela is in some other country with Spike of all people, Booth realizes what a stupid deal he made. Wnen: during the evening tonight Where: Jo's place[her bar] Warnings: tba. Betrayed feelings and many drinks
As soon as he could, Booth left for the bar. He'd nearly forgotten he was going to meet Eliot. As a result he'd forgotten the Philly Specials back in his room. Bela was in Spain with Spike of all people. He couldn't help but feel betrayed on many levels. The first one? Bela left. He knew she would have the instant she got her soul bak but he really hadn't expected her to until she actually was gone. Then it sank in. He wondered if she ever even gave a damn. Expensive dinners, late nights, It really was his own fault. Sam warned him, why didn't he listen? Why did he believe everyone deserved a chance. He wasn't so sure what he believed in. He played with fire and he got burned. What was that old saying, once burned twice shy? He wasn't going to make the same mistake twice. Not with Bela, not with anyone. For the longest time Booth stood outside Jo's bar and tried to just calm down. If he went in where his head was at, someone was bound to catch on. He would say the wrong thing, make the wrong move.
But it was difficult. Anger was just building inside him to the boiling point. He could feel it to a point where it nearly scared him. Everything he'd gotten into was his own fault. Bela had never hid anything from him, but he wanted to believe in her. He didn't think it was fair to judge her wihout even really knowing her. Part of him wished he'd listened to Sam. The other just wanted to go hermit and give up. Things always ended this way. Sure most of them without demon deals, but in the end he was always alone. He was tired of giving himself completely and ending up with nothing. Why didn't he deserve to be happy? Was it something he'd done? All he'd done since he got back from Iraq was care for others. Try to make their lives better. Shouldn't he have been redeemed a little by now? He'd solved so many cases, but so many lives back together. Why couldn't he put his own together?
He was hurt and upset. But he told her he didn't care. It was a lie. When she told him she was with Spike it felt like part of him just crumbled a little. Spike of all people. She was in Paris cutting lose with Spike. Whatever that meant. His mind was filling in the blanks on it's own and only making him more miserable. Outside there was a wooden railing he leaned against as he looked through the less crowded streets of Lawrence. Things were getting back to normal, but Seeley wondered if he ever would. In that moment he felt like that was the end. He was done trying.