Username: 
Password:    
Remember Me

Search by :  Username E-mail Region Interest AOL IM ICQ Number Yahoo! ID MSN Username Jabber

Your friendly neighborhood Xander-shaped friend. (xander_shaped) wrote in wariscoming,

Xander didn't want to think about the dancing, singing demon that had struck Sunnydale because of his naivety. Not only because it had been a stupid, stupid decision on his part, what with the summoning the demon on purpose and all that, but because thinking about moments like he and Anya dancing around their apartment, singing about how they were going to get married and all their unpleasant insecurities (or how they weren't going to think about the unpleasant insecurities that they had) made him wish he could turn back time and re-live those moments all over again. Xander gripped at his beer, feeling more than unable to drink it. Maybe he wouldn't. Maybe he'd just cling to it throughout this entire conversation in hopes that it would keep him grounded. Yes, that was right. Beer, foamy beer, was going to save him from the wrath of his unfortunate, annoying emotions. Beer and chips. Possibly his 007 DVD's peering at him from the shelves, too. What Xander really needed to do was channel his inner Bond. What would Bond do right now? He'd rake a hand through his hair, lean back on the couch in a casual, suave-like way, and tell Anya that it was all good, darling, because he was a secret agent and a badass and...Xander needed to stop relying on fictional, not-real characters to get him through this chat. Of course, if Bond actually wanted to show up here, Xander would be cool with that. He wouldn't have been the first fictional character to drop into his life.

Bond showing up wouldn't be a bad thing either. 'Cause, right now, Xander felt like he'd be taking in the information that Anya was throwing him a lot better than Xander was right now. "I probably made you reverse that wish because I didn't want you getting anyone killed," Xander pointed out. "Which, by the way, I seemed to be right about since you did get someone killed." Xander shot her a look of disapproval. He should have expected it. She had jumped back into the vengeance fold after he had left her at the alter. Sometimes, though, Xander had a hard time seeing Anya as a ruthless killer. He forgot about how crazy that demonic side of her got, but that was because he had gotten so used to the warm, loving, slightly confused and tactless Anya that he knew and loved today.

He couldn't hold what she did against her though. It was partly his fault for letting her go and breaking her heart. Anya never would have went back if it weren't for him and they both knew it. Xander looked down at his beer quietly, guilt springing up without delay. He hated himself for leaving her. "Self-sacrifice, huh? Never figured you for the type. That's kind of..." Xander looked over at Anya cautiously. First he learned that Anya died because she wanted to stay back and fight for the right reasons rather than run off, then he found out that Anya had been willing to undo her mistakes to save the lives of others in exchange for her own existence. Xander was kind of proud. She really had come a long way from being that lost ex-demon he had met back in high school. And even though Xander thought that she could have avoided the whole vengeance thing altogether (still his fault), he found that he couldn't get mad at her for what she had done to that fraternity. It was hard, getting mad at her in general these days. It all usually came back to being his fault somehow, without fail. "I'm sorry about Halfrek."

Xander didn't want to think about the rest. If that was what he had to look forward to when and if he got back to Sunnydale, Xander wasn't too sure if he wanted to go back. Anya massacring people, Buffy trying to kill her...Xander didn't think he could take it.