Who: Barbara Gordon and OPEN What: Barbara is reflecting on recent events *coughjasoncough* When: Tonight Where: Babs' apartment Why: Because she isn't dealing for a reason. And its time to get into that! Also for some interaction and maybe hugs. status: incomplete
It had been eating at her slowly like one of those itches you just couldn't scratch. Except this one came with a mountain's worth of guilt, regret and a heavy feeling of responsibility. Despite the fact that there was nothing she could have done and that it wasn't her fault, there was a collective sorrow that seemed to be felt - or had at the time. There was the question of what could have been done. But by the time Bruce had gotten there it had already been too late and Jason Todd was dead. It haunted him, even to this day. It haunted all of them, and while Barbara was getting used to the idea of people coming back to life in this place - having done it herself (something she was still dealing with), with him it was another story.
Jason had been partially her charge. She'd been assigned to work with him, was partnered up with him for rooftop training exercises and had done part of his training herself... back before the Joker struck the family again. And then he'd died.
She could remember the funeral in vivid detail - the only ones in attendance were the three of them - Bruce, Alfred, her - and her father, who was there as a friend to Bruce. She wasn't certain what had hurt the most. Knowing that the young man in there - who, while in the end it was clear things were beginning to fall apart, had potential - would never live to see what was to come, or the fact that their leader, their rock, was so lost, so gone over this. But now...
It had hit Barbara as soon as she'd gotten inside. So much in fact that while her door was closed, it hadn't locked behind her. She was staring at the screen of her computer. The command prompt menu open and blinking, waiting for input, but she just sat there, staring at it. She had spent the last week plus ignoring this, trying not to think about it. There was just so much other stuff going on that she didn't have the time. And now? She couldn't process it. How! That was the obvious question! This and the other things that had been revealed the other night - at Dick's apartment... While they weren't important at that moment... no they were but this... Nothing made sense. And she dreaded looking it up. It hurt too much. To know that... had he been out there the whole time?! Had something happened? Was there a Lazarus Pit involved?! She just... couldn't.