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Castiel ([info]cas_is_confused) wrote in [info]wariscoming,
@ 2010-07-13 20:12:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:castiel, chuck shurley

Who: Castiel & Chuck
When: Tuesday afternoon
Where: Outside the complex at first, then who knows? Somewhere with alcohol, knowing Chuck.
What: Curious!Angel is curious, Crazy!Prophet is crazy, and... oh yeah, there's an Apocalypse a-comin'
Status: Thread, incomplete

The term is asshats, he had told Dean, but they are still family. It is complicated. Had that been an untruth on Castiel’s part? Perhaps. It was not so very complicated, after all; he had disobeyed, and been called to account, and somehow escaped the usual fate reserved for those who began to doubt because he remained useful. All he had to do was follow instructions. Zachariah said ‘jump’, to use the human idiom, and Castiel asked how high the leap should be. The arrangement, at least, was simple.

The execution was a little harder.

He had not been lying when he said he’d neglected his duties to the Winchesters. To say he was afraid would have been wrong – angels did not fear, any more than they doubted – but… he did not trust himself, not where they were concerned. It was hard, far harder than he’d anticipated, to be around Dean and not doubt his convictions, his orders, even his own brothers. That was an unacceptable risk.

Avoiding them did not mean he was not curious, however. While he did not like to levy accusations of duplicity at his kin he was not stupid; he knew how they viewed him now, and therefore it seemed logical to conclude that what they told him was not the full story, much as it was safe to assume the fact his assignments kept him far from the brothers was not a coincidence.

Which made this latest task a little… incongruous.

There was nothing particularly unusual about the forces of heaven taking an interest in one Chuck Shurley, of course. And he had given them plenty of occasion to worry of late, between his drinking and his change of address and the continued contact with the displaced individuals at the compound (though that in itself was a poor excuse, as had anything threatened him there was, after all, little to fear… except that while he remained in the complex his guardian angel was subject to the same restrictions as Castiel himself, which would have made the trenchcoated angel smirk if he hadn’t been worried someone would see and mistake it for unacceptable thinking; the image of an archangel orbiting the complex like a forlorn puppy sent outside in the rain was amusing). But Castiel was, it should be reiterated, far from stupid and this request that he check up on the wayward prophet when he should have been concentrating on the rapidly falling seals and the hunt for Lillith was, he postulated, as much a test of his own loyalties as an actual assignment; Zachariah had hinted that there were major workings for which Castiel might be recommended, and it would be foolish to assume that his earlier transgressions did not still weigh upon his superior’s mind.

Still, if Zachariah said jump…

And so Cas went, homing in on the ragged figure with his wild eyes and permanent fug of alcohol and desperation in equal measure the moment he stepped outside those accursed wards. One second he was not there, the next he was. In retrospect it might not have been the best of plans, but old habits died hard and his were older than most.

“Hello, Chuck”



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[info]capriciousgod
2010-07-13 07:47 pm UTC (link)
Chuck wasn’t going to go very far while not entirely sober, after that whole debacle where he’d tried to warn everyone on the board... while completely drunk sitting in a playground, causing Jo to come out and retrieve him. He seriously owed her for that one, considering if he’d been out there much longer he’d have probably ended up doing something stupid, somehow. Maybe he’d send her a fruit basket, or... something. He wasn’t entirely sure what an appropriate thanks for saving my drunk ass from running around in traffic or something gift was. Maybe the internet knew - he’d check later.

In retrospect, he shouldn’t have posted anything at all, probably. All he’d done was cause confusion, and if he’d been successful in warning everyone, it would have just created mass panic. He should text Dean and Sam, but his phone was... actually, he didn’t know where his phone was. Probably lost in the boxes he’d yet to unpack, or dropped somewhere during his drunken venture to the playground... why the hell he’d decided to sit around on a playground, he doesn’t know, but he’s a little grateful that he didn’t try swinging properly, or climbing on anything, because then Jo would have come and dragged his dead body back when he broke his neck.

Now, though, he’s tired of being cooped up inside. It’s not that the apartments are bad, it’s just that it’s the end of the world, and he doesn’t want to be stuck indoor waiting to die while his head explodes on and off with pain. So his plan was to sit around outside for a bit, enjoy the fresh air, before he went off to go get something to drink - there was a liquor store not too far off, walking distance, and he was out of drinks.

The cool air felt nice, and he was hoping it would help the headache cut down a few notches, go from brainmelting agony to just plain agony, because, sure, he was getting used to functioning on pain, but he really, really didn’t enjoy it.

>“Hello, Chuck”

”Holy friggin’--!” He reeled back, one hand on his head the other out in front of him like he was trying to defend himself, except by this point he’d already figured out who it was, cut off his words before they could go anywhere more offensive to the angel, “Uh, h-hey, Castiel."

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[info]cas_is_confused
2010-07-13 09:12 pm UTC (link)
Frightening Chuck had not been the point of the exercise, and Castiel felt a pang of what could only be guilt – another very human emotion, born of doubt in ones convictions; another weakness he couldn’t afford – and glanced down in what passed for apologetic shame where he was concerned. “I did not wish to startle you. I apologise.”

It felt inaccurate to claim that he had had little experience with alcohol after the excursion which had landed him in hot water with Zachariah in the first place, but one night of excess did not give him any real degree of mastery; he felt safe, however, estimating that Chuck was what passed for relatively sober. Small mercies, he thought, wondering whether humans recognised the irony of their idiom; heaven often played little part where such mercies were concerned. He didn’t doubt that Dean would have had something pithy to say on the subject.

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[info]capriciousgod
2010-07-13 09:21 pm UTC (link)
>“I did not wish to startle you. I apologise.”

Hey, that’s something, getting an apology out of an angel? Castiel even looked kind of down about the whole thing, which, okay, was a bit weird, and definitely something he wasn’t expecting. Did angels even feel guilty? Was that ...normal, for angels? He didn’t really know; his visions-or-whatever weren’t exactly reliable for that sort of thing.

”Hey, no worries. It’s fine.” It was slightly less than fine, but whatever. “Just, ah, you might... wanna be less, um... sudden? With your arriving?” It felt wrong to be telling an angel to do - or not-do, in this case - something, but, hey, Dean did it all the time, and he hadn’t been smote yet, so Chuck was pretty sure Castiel wasn’t going to kill him for the suggestion. Whether he’d heed it or not was another matter entirely, though.

“So, uh, what’s up?” Wow, could he be more awkward if he was trying?

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[info]cas_is_confused
2010-07-13 09:28 pm UTC (link)
Castiel probably did not qualify as a ‘normal’ angel, it was true; whether one put it down to having been improved or infected by his contact with humans depended entirely on perspective. Case in point - he didn’t exactly smirk at the suggestion, but it was difficult to think of a more appropriate word for the slight curl of his lip, the not-quite-snort preceding his words. “It has been suggested.”

There was quite the contest, really, as to who was more awkward, and Castiel was not entirely sure it was one he wanted to win – ‘awkward’ should have been a badge of honour; ‘awkward’ was not bowing to human concerns, was remaining detached and doing his duty. “I was hoping you would be able to enlighten me in that regard, Chuck. Your visions have become more frequent.” It was a unique talent, that – making a statement and a query at the same time. “I have been asked to check that you are settling well, that the transition to the complex has been a smooth one.”

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[info]capriciousgod
2010-07-13 10:09 pm UTC (link)
The almost-smirk tagged on to that made Chuck almost-smile in return, a little amused. Were this guy human, or capable of being killed by normal things, he’d have warned him about the dangers of popping up on the wrong people, and how, you know, someone might shoot him or something... but this was an angel, and all he’d have to worry about was taking a moment to fix his vessel and clear the blood and holes away from his clothing. Yeah, angel-powers must be nice. Free dry-cleaning, no hospital visits...

>“I was hoping you would be able to enlighten me in that regard, Chuck. Your visions have become more frequent.”

“I don’t know what’s going on, all these ...visions, they’re all... they don’t make any sense.” Chuck’s tone was skirting close to a whining sound, now, and he was well aware of it. Distantly, he was kind of embarrassed about it - he should be handling this better, he shouldn’t have been so worn-down that he was getting to this point, he was used to this he should have been able to handle it - but that was outweighed by exhaustion and pain and the fact that he was generally just sick and tired of the whole seeing the future gig.

>“I have been asked to check that you are settling well, that the transition to the complex has been a smooth one.”

Smooth probably wasn’t exactly the word Chuck would use to describe this whole ordeal. Hellish was better. A lot better. Between the whole everybody-looks-like-some-dude thing and the increase in vision-headaches (because the visions themselves aren’t actually getting through - it’s like they’re getting caught in a filter and his head just aches for no reason, for scattered pictures and flashes of things he doesn’t understand), it had sort of been one problem after another, one stop after another, on side roads and in whatever motel he could come across as soon as possible, when the headaches got to the point where he couldn’t be driving anymore. Never mind that he’d had to pack everything he owned - that he planned on taking - into his car, get people to deal with everything else (which, um, he still needed to do, actually, since at the time there had been no someone to ask, because everyone had been the same person and mildly psychotic, at that), and the fact that he had been out driving which always caused a decent level of anxiety to build up.

“Oh, it’s gone great.” Okay, it probably wasn’t exactly the best plan, using sarcasm to respond to an angel; he was pretty sure he was supposed to be respectful and all that.

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[info]cas_is_confused
2010-07-13 10:25 pm UTC (link)
“I doubt that making sense is the point of the exercise.” Cas’ placating tone had also had plenty of work since he began supervising the Winchesters. Again he wondered what point and purpose this visit was supposed to serve; if Chuck were due revelation, surely there were better declamatory angels than he, and if – against all odds - he were the one to deliver the news he hoped they would have told him. As it was, he assumed Chuck was supposed to be kept in the dark.

It must have been unpleasant – all that responsibility, and no sense of guidance, of purpose… The similarities to his own situation did not escape him. Irony was a less than welcome but increasingly frequent companion. “You are still writing them down, correct? Even the ones which seem to have little relevance to the Winchester chronicle?”

One could not be around Dean Winchester for any length of time and fail to gain some degree of appreciation of sarcasm, and so Chuck’s tone did not go unnoticed. “I see. If I can be of any assistance…”

It was dangerous, asking that; the last time, he remembered, he'd practically begged a demon to give him directions. Now, however, he was not entirely without orders to follow. It was merely the right thing to do.

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[info]capriciousgod
2010-07-13 10:44 pm UTC (link)
>“I doubt that making sense is the point of the exercise.”

“Then what is the point? I mean, it’s obviously not to stop the bad stuff from happening. Or, if it is, I don’t have the first idea how, since I can’t see what the hell leads up to...” Chuck waved a hand a little,then ran it up through his hair, not entirely sure where to go from there, “...to the bits and pieces that do fall through.”

>“You are still writing them down, correct? Even the ones which seem to have little relevance to the Winchester chronicle?”

“I’m not getting enough to write it down,” he responded, “It’s all, like, really random stuff. White eyes, blood, demons, light - there’s no story in that. And even if there were... no one wants me to write about them anymore.” If he were being honest, he wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to write about real people, either - it felt kind of ...creepy, and he really, really didn’t want to be a creeper, or a stalker, or anything else of that nature. Seriously.

>“I see. If I can be of any assistance…”

“Well, you could tell me what the hell’s going on? ‘Cause you... I’m pretty sure you know something. That you’re not telling me.” He had gotten broken pieces of a conversation between himself and the angel, but none of it really made much sense to him, but it had left him with the impression that Castiel knew what was going on with his whole future-seeing crap. Whether he’d tell him what was going on or not was up in the air, but ...it couldn’t hurt to try, right?

Unless Castiel smote him, or something. That would probably hurt, yeah.

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[info]cas_is_confused
2010-07-14 04:31 pm UTC (link)
Chuck’s words were troubling, to say the least. The idea that something might have been interfering with the visions, shutting parts out, preventing the Prophet getting the entire picture… how much power would that require? Had they underestimated the strength of their adversaries? The mention of white eyes naturally had his mind straying towards Lilith…

… though there was another possibility, one which he did not relish contemplating, not least because it would probably prove the more likely option. Heaven worked in mysterious ways, after all.

“But you are still writing them down? It is important.”

> Well, you could tell me what the hell’s going on?

Angels did not make a habit of grimacing, but there were few words more appropriate for the mix of awkward, pained guilt which flashed across Castiel’s face before he could control it and settle for a more appropriately placid resignation, bowing his head slightly. It should not have been this difficult; balancing what could be revealed against what must remain secret, walking the line between omission and deception, had been a specialty – enough so that it had helped recommend him when it came to dealing with the Winchesters.

“You have been chosen.” was a fairly safe beginning, right? “What you have written down will one day be known as the Winchester Gospel. It is, I am told, a great honour which has been accorded you.”

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[info]capriciousgod
2010-07-22 03:44 pm UTC (link)
>“But you are still writing them down? It is important.”

“No, I haven’t been writing it down! Not, not really, anyway. I mean, I jotted some of it down, took notes, but it’s really, really not in any format I can turn into a story.” Everything’s just images and flashes of sound or words or impressions of really bad things are coming, and it’s nothing like the normal dreams, visions, whatever. It’s being blocked, and he really wish he knew how to break that block, so he could know what to do, so he could write, because not being able to write was pretty sucky. He liked writing, it’s why he’d wanted to write in the first place. Also, this meant he had nothing to do in his spare time except drink, really. And try to unpack his boxes, but, well... Chuck was never good at manual labor, so. Yeah, that wasn’t gonna happen, not just because he had nothing better to do.

>“You have been chosen.” - ...that’s never a good thing to hear, Chuck’s pretty sure of that, anyway, and he’s already frowning before the angel continues speaking - “What you have written down will one day be known as the Winchester Gospel. It is, I am told, a great honour which has been accorded you.”

”Wait, so,” he pointed a finger in the angel’s general direction, shook it a little and tried not to laugh, “I’m writing Gospels? Like, Biblical Gospels?” And the laugh broke free, there, surged forward and out like laughing at an Angel of the Lord was a super awesome plan, “Right. Are you friggin’ kidding me, dude?”

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[info]cas_is_confused
2010-07-22 04:11 pm UTC (link)
Chuck’s reaction was… unexpected. Castiel was fairly certain that this was deeply serious business, and definitely not a subject worthy of mirth. Few accounts of the exultation of older, greater prophets had included the moment where they chortled at the incredulity of it all.

He tilted his head to the side, frowning, regarding Chuck with a degree of confusion usually reserved for Dean alone. “We do not make a habit of joking where the Will Of Heaven is involved. Prophecy is a serious subject.”

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[info]capriciousgod
2010-07-22 04:19 pm UTC (link)
The angel was looking at him sideways - literally, head tilted over to the side - and frowning like Chuck didn’t make any sense, and that quickly killed his laughter, made him choke on it and cough slightly, chewing on his lip and looking away, down at the ground. Right. No laughing at angels.

>“We do not make a habit of joking where the Will Of Heaven is involved. Prophecy is a serious subject.”

...Prophecy. Awesome.

“Okay, look, this is... that’s just not possible, okay? I’m, I’m definitely not the kind of person who should be, who’s....” He waved a hand in the air, gesturing a little erratically, then covering his face with both hands and sighing heavily. This was really, really not a good week.

“You know what? Screw it. I’m obviously way too sober to deal with this. Hallucinating or something. You’re a hallucination, and I need more alcohol.” It was obviously Jo’s fault, taking his last bottle away. Sure, she’d been trying to help, but... but now he had to go off and find something else to drink, while being followed by an illusion of an angel who’s saying he’s a friggin’ Prophet writing new books of the Bible or something. Awesome.

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[info]cas_is_confused
2010-07-22 06:35 pm UTC (link)
> I’m, I’m definitely not the kind of person who should be, who’s...

That was somewhat more in keeping with what Cas had expected when he’d foolishly chosen to bring up Chuck’s role in events, although he still found himself at a loss when it came to explaining exactly what that role entailed, or why he in fact was exactly ‘the kind of person’. He didn’t understand it either; from what he had seen Chuck had little to recommend him. But God moved in mysterious ways, and tended to pick individuals who were… quirky, to say the least.

“You should have seen Daniel” he responded, deadpan.

> You know what? Screw it. I’m obviously way too sober to deal with this

“I doubt drinking more will help.”

… was that what envy felt like? It was a new, and unwelcome, pang, whatever it was. Of all the things he’d been forced to give up, drinking was one of the ones Castiel had to confess to missing that, and the company of the demon Ruby, and of Dean and even then it had not afforded the same simple escape, not when one required copious amounts to feel its effects.

> You’re a hallucination, and I need more alcohol

Castiel sighed. Humans really were impossible sometimes.

“I am not a hallucination.” A sharp prod accompanied the words, Cas’ brow furrowed with concentration; unconventional technique it might have been, but sometimes his charges required that of him.

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[info]capriciousgod
2010-07-22 06:57 pm UTC (link)
>“You should have seen Daniel.

...Right. Okay, yeah, definitely not drunk enough for this kind of crap. Comparing him to other Biblical writers, now? Maybe if this were real, that would be a little reassuring, or if he actually believed what was being said and genuinely didn’t feel worthy of it, instead of being just skeptical and painfully sober and headachy. “Uh-huh. I’m sure we would’ve gotten along just fine, right?”

>“I doubt drinking more will help.”

“I don’t think you know enough about alcohol, then.” Sure, he’d seen the angel’s drinking expedition with Ruby, at least parts of it that mattered. But that didn’t mean Castiel got it. Not that he should. Angels shouldn’t be drinking, right? That’s just not exactly angelic, and he shouldn’t encourage it, probably. Then again, he wasn’t exactly Prophet material, yet here he was being told he was. Which was totally not real anyway, but that was beside the point.

>“I am not a hallucination.”

"Oww..." Chuck pulled his hands away from his face quickly at the jab, shooting Castiel a look somewhere between did you seriously just...? and oh, crap, so you are real? and then sighing again.

“Well that’s great. So the stuff you’ve been saying probably wasn’t just me hearing things, either, then.” Chuck wasn’t entirely sure what he was supposed to do with this information, what he was supposed to think about knowing he was a friggin’ Prophet. It wasn’t like he knew what that meant for him, or what happened if he didn’t write or told people things he shouldn’t. “Why can’t I see things right, if I’m some kind of Prophet, then? I mean, shouldn’t I be able to see things no matter what?”

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