Martha Jones (legendinhertime) wrote in wariscoming, @ 2010-05-15 00:13:00 |
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Entry tags: | martha jones, much |
Who: Martha Jones and OPEN
What: Time on the Roof
When: December 15, 2010, evening
Where: Complex roof/garden
Why: Martha seriously needs some air. She knows that something is up with her...
Status: Open
The door had been open. This had been the first time she'd been up here in the last few months. After tonight's faux pau she'd needed some air.
The last week had been quite possibly even more stressful than her return after the Year that Wasn't. It was - if possible - even worse. Upon returning, she had finished her training and had joined UNIT - putting all of her efforts and focus into her military training. It was something she never even knew at the time, but she moved in with the fold - a different sort of mission, but similar to what she'd done with the Doctor. It was close enough to home - home planet anyway - that she didn't feel she'd run off again. But here? This was a different situation entirely.
There was no distraction. No Mum, dad. No Leo, Trish and Jack was nowhere to be found at the moment. Romana was here, but... despite the conversation she didn't truly know her. She was cut off from her war compatriots, and after seeing the murder, it was only now that she saw just how badly she was falling. Security was something that was paramount. It was the first rule. There was a hirearchy here. What the hell was wrong with her?! You didn't forget things like this! The rules were engrained. They weren't made willy-nilly. And it wasn't like life in the TARDIS where the Doctor knew you were going to waunder off. If you broke the rules here, you paid the consequences. Everyone did! And that was what was bothering her.
Martha found a place to sit, trying to hold it together. From what, she wasn't certain, but she was familiar with the feeling. It generally came after a flood of danger and adreneline that she always linked with running. But here? There wasn't anything. There was no 'next great adventure'. It was a constant stream of darkness that enclosed around them, and - if she were being honest with herself - it scared her. Genuinely and thoroughly. Tonight has just been the latest. And while she had an idea why, it was just getting worse. Her productiveness wasn't effected, she was able to work, but when she was by herself, she'd get shaky.
It all led back to the question of why she'd gone and done what she had tonight! Of course upon getting back she had burried herself in her work, as a means of forgetting. And... hadn't spoken to anyone, but that had been the way it was. But here - in Lawrence - there were not immediate distractions. She always thought about the health of others... she had to wonder if this wasn't just what it seemed. The truth was - and she knew it - that she probably needed to talk to someone. But yet again, what was simple back home had become the default. And why? Becuase at the moment she was lost. Not certain what to do. Laugh? Cry? She'd seen plenty of people die in her day. You didn't travel with the doctor without knowing that there was death and worse out there. But this... It had been terrible.
Glancing up she couldn't help but sigh. The stars helped. A bit at least... Being up there among them had been quite the thrill, the adventure of a lifetime. But now... here... She pulled her coat closer to her body. She was slowly coming to the realization that if she didn't deal with this - in the more traditional way (whatever that meant), take her own bloody advice - that she wouldn't be able to recover from this. And that prospect was not one she was willing to take lying down.