Dreams of torture and Hell. Sam wrinkled his nose slightly at that, but he didn't make any move to pull away from her. How hypocritical would it have been for him to do so when his dreams were all about blood and monsters? "You can't control what you're seeing in your dreams. Neither of us can." He squeezed her hand gently, watching carefully as she retrieved her coffee. "Because that's not you. Have you ever tortured a person? Have you ever done that to anything or anyone? Maybe that's a part of your mind admitting that you're afraid of something. Like Hell. You could be afraid of Hell." Sam was reaching. He knew that he was. But there was such a huge part of him that refused to believe that Ruby was some kind of evil thing that enjoyed ripping people apart that he knew that was what he had to do. He didn't know her as well as he probably should have (especially with the way that he felt about her), but he could tell. She was a loving mother, who had been there for him when no one else would have dared. This was not an evil woman. She was, if anything, scared.
"I'm not." Sam strengthened his hold on her hand, then he let go. "I'm not better off. Trust me, I can tell. I'm better off following...these feelings. That I have. About...everything. I felt like I had to look into the ghost attacks and it's leading me somewhere. I felt like I had to talk to your boss and it made us both realize that there's something...something important there. With us. And those monsters. And then there's you. I can't explain it, but I know that this is where I belong. So don't dub yourself as screwed up baggage that I'm better off without. Because in case you haven't noticed? We're both pretty screwed up. I'm a -" He ran his hand across his face, then rose from the couch to retrieve his coffee. "I'm addicted to drugs. I'm a terrible husband. And I don't even know what to do with myself half the time as is. But then I met you. And all this stuff started happening. It's all screwed up and it shouldn't be happening, but it is. And you know what? I'm okay with that. In fact, I feel better than I have in a long time. Kind of adds on to the messed up factor with all the crazy shit that's been going on, but it's true. So I need you to stop right there with that one. Because I'm more than content with being here with you right now and there's nothing that you can say or do that will change that, do you understand me?"
He picked up his coffee and leaned back against the table, shooting Ruby a stern look. It was a glare of sorts. One that he hoped would be intimidating enough to keep her from pressing on about the matter.