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Tweak says, "You know, the loveable rascal."

buffy summers; slayer, the (goingtowin) wrote in wariscoming,
@ 2010-04-08 01:34:00

Entry tags:

buffy summers, xander harris

Who: Buffy and Xander
What: Buffy's got bad news
When: Not long after Xander's return from camp
Where: Xander's room, Apartment Complex.
Rating: TBD
Status: Incomplete

She really couldn't believe this thought had never crossed her mind sooner. She had told Dawn she was going to tell Xander, but wait until after he was settled with the reality change. Then things had got crazy, and the fact that Xander didn't know about Anya had slipped her mind. People coming from different times was really throwing her off. It wasn't until Sam had even asked about Anya that Buffy remembered that Xander had no idea, because he was from a time where Anya was still alive.

This was the last conversation she ever wanted to have, but she had to tell Xander. He deserved and needed to know. It was probably going to crush him, and she didn't want that. As she walked out of her room towards Xander's, she felt her stomach turning. Her last text told Xander she'd be knocking on the door in about thirty seconds. Thirty-five seconds later she was standing outside his door.

It felt like she just gazed at the door for ages, though it was only a few seconds. Finally, after taking a deep breath and sighing, she knocked on the door. This wasn't going to be a fun conversation, and this wasn't going to end well.

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xander_shaped
2010-04-08 06:57 am UTC (link)

Xander was confused, to say the least. He knew that Buffy had wanted to talk to him about something or another, but what was it that required his direct attention and his Serious Face to boot? Was something wrong with her? Dawn? One of the others? He had to admit, that among the confusion, there was plenty of concern building as well. It was more than difficult to just go on and act like everything was all fine and dandy when your best friend came along and pointed out that they needed to talk with you about something important (again with the Serious Face). If it wasn't something that she could call or text him about? Yeah, Xander was worried. His apartment was a little messy, considering that he had been unpacking his belongings from his trip out to Bobby's place, but Xander wasn't exactly worried about that. Buffy had seen him living out of a basement - she had seen his living quarters at it's lowest and a couple bags and some of his belongings scattered across his apartment floor wasn't gonna make him feel uncomfortable about her presence. So, when he heard her knocking, Xander kicked a bag aside and moved out to the door.

It wasn't locked, so he just pulled it on open and gestured for Buffy to come inside. Doing his best to avoid looking her in the eyes - those were telling and there was this uncertain feeling in his gut that declared that maybe he didn't wanna be told - he waited for Buffy to step inside before pushing the door shut behind himself. Then he nodded to the sitting area and said, "You wanna sit for this? Do you need something to drink?" He paused, then ran a hand through his hair. Serious Face? Check. "What's going on, Buffy? Is everyone okay?"

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goingtowin
2010-04-08 03:15 pm UTC (link)

She heard him moving around, coming toward the door, and her eyes were staring intently toward the ground until the door opened. She looked up then, glancing at him once before directing her eyes straight ahead, which gave her a clear view of his chest. Stepping into the room, she held her hangs infront of her, squeezing her own fingers. She was nervous, she didn't know how he'd react. She'd seen a variety of reactions out of him. When Anya had died, it had been right after a battle, there hadn't been any tears then. When the slayer he'd been almost seeing died, it had been terrible.

Buffy walked into the seating area, not really noticing or minding the mess, it wasn't important anyway. "No, I'm good." she said to the drink with a shake of her head. It wasn't that kind of talk. "Everyone here is fine." as far as she knew. "It's about something that's going to happen in your future. It's happened in my past."

What kind of conversation as this anyway? Past and futures, deaths, their lives were insane enough, they didn't need to be playing the time warp and knowing information that others didn't know. How she had forgot to tell him this she didn't know, but she couldn't put it off longer. He'd find out one way or another, and all she could do was be there for him. She couldn't hunt down the person responsible. She did that already, the demon was dead, died in the hellmouth. She would see to that in Xander's time. All she could do was be there for him when he broke the news.

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xander_shaped
2010-04-08 09:45 pm UTC (link)

Xander didn't get it. Had he done something wrong? Why was Buffy acting so strangely? Looking more than puzzled, he followed Buffy over to the sitting area and suddenly found that he, personally, couldn't sit. Fingers burying themselves into his pockets, Xander awkwardly stood and watched Buffy, waiting for her to speak again. When she did? He frowned, that puzzled expression multiplying by a dozen. If there was something important that she had to tell him about his future, why wait until now to do so? Did she think that maybe he could prevent it? Or was there something going on behind the scenes that he didn't quite know about? Xander looked at her uncertainly for a long moment before he shook his head and swept a hand out, as if he wanted her to get it over with already.

"Future talk. Not what I was expecting. Always a real ride to hear about, but definitely not what I was expecting." Before he threw himself into a ramble though, Xander clamped his mouth shut and decided that maybe sitting down was a better idea after all. Hands slipping free of his pockets, he found the couch and sank down onto it. Leaning forward, he looked up at Buffy and waited quietly for her to begin. All the while, he tried not to freak out too much. It was kind of a hard thing to do when your best friend came knocking on your door out of the blue, declaring that they had something important to tell you about your future. But was Xander gonna do? Tell her to leave? Ignore everything that she was about to tell him? No, he had to listen. And he had to remember to be calm and perfectly rational, because the last thing that he needed was to raise his nerves up anymore than they were now.

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goingtowin
2010-04-09 03:37 am UTC (link)

Sitting down wasn't really an option for her, at least not right now. She stood on the spot, willing herself not to start packing back and forth. "I was going to tell you sooner, but with everyones time differences, and then Alastair, and Glory, and everything else, my brain just went scrambled and I guess I thought you already knew." Yeah, she was sure that was making plenty of sense right now. There was no way she could keep avoiding this, so she was simply going to have to suck it up and say it.

Making herself stay still, her hands fell by her side, and she looked directly at Xander. "During...the battle with the First, when Willow made all the potentials actual slayers?" Buffy knew he had to know about that bit already. "There was a big battle. Everyone was involved. And not everyone made it out." they had lost a lot of girls, a lot of slayers, they'd done their best to keep the vampires from escaping, but they hadn't been able to stop them all. "Anya...she..." Buffy paused, her body slumping slightly, as if seeming defeated. Her voice level dropped, tone become very gentle. "...she didn't make it out, Xander. She died in the battle."

If this was something Xander could change when he went back to his time, she didn't know. If he could, she honestly might be all for it. Would it have a major change in the future? Buffy didn't know, but Anya hadn't deserved to die.

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xander_shaped
2010-04-10 09:25 pm UTC (link)

Xander listened. It was all that he could do in a situation like this one. Hold his breath, keep his ears open, and hope for the best. And when the news dropped itself at his feet? Xander repeated the action. He kept on listening, because he was almost entirely certain that what Buffy was saying wasn't true. He was listening for her outburst of "surprise, just kidding!" or a snort of laughter or something that would indicate that she was just fucking around. But when Buffy did nothing of the sort, Xander looked up at her with wide eyes, brought a hand up to the side of his face uncertainly, then quietly lowered his gaze seconds after he found hers. She wasn't kidding. Anya. Anya.

"When? How?" Xander looked up at her again, eyes practically begging Buffy to give him a way out of having this conversation - out of accepting the information that was being thrown at him. Like that was ever gonna happen. The hard things were unavoidable. And finding out that the woman you had once intended to marry had died? It wasn't something that Xander could just shrug and pretend was never brought to the table for discussion. "Why? Why did it happen? Where the hell was I?"

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goingtowin
2010-04-12 02:17 am UTC (link)

She could almost read what was going on behind his head. Like he was waiting for her to tell him she was just kidding, it was a joke, no matter how sick of a joke that would be. But she wasn't kidding. She couldn't tell him that. It was true. Anya was gone in her time, from what she understood, a natural death, by human weapons, which meant she couldn't be brought back.

"She was human again." which didn't help much, because that just increased the ways Anya could die ten-fold. "During the Final Battle with the first. About a year or so after Willow went temporarily dark side." it was around a year, she didn't know the exact date of the fight anymore, she just sort of remembered general dates, months maybe.

"I don't know all the details. I was down in the hellmouth with the potentials and Spike. You, Giles, Dawn, Anya, Andrew and Robin- you haven't met him yet- were blocking exits in the school. You were in a different part of the school with Dawn. She was with Andrew. From what I understand, she was...cut down, saving his life." many people didn't see it as a fair trade. She'd heard some people think it should have been Andrew who died, Buffy use to wonder the same thing. She didn't now, she didn't want any of them dead at all. And now she didn't want Xander to hurt. She couldn't not tell him, but she wanted him to not have to hurt from this, even if she knew that was impossible. It was then that she took one tentative step toward him, and then sat down next to him, turning her head to look at his face.

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xander_shaped
2010-04-18 11:15 pm UTC (link)

A year off from the point in time that he had come from. That didn't exactly help Xander when it came to the painful feeling that was twisting in his gut. If he ever got home, he only had a year left to spend with Anya. Who, at the moment, probably hated him. That wasn't the most reassuring feeling in the world, was it? He looked down, doing all that he could to process this information without exploding. "She saved Andrew? She sacrificed herself for -" Xander clamped his mouth shut and looked away. That didn't help. Not at all. Xander got it - he really did. Andrew had changed. He was working on redeeming himself. That didn't help him by way of the bitter feelings that he was still juggling around about the man and his pals though. Different points in time, different memories. He had seen Andrew do some pretty interesting things in his time here (some of which he didn't want to talk about, for the sake of his sanity...and ew), but that didn't change the fact that he was learning that Anya had died for Andrew.

"I can't believe this." He put both of his hands behind his head and turned away from Buffy, pacing the floor. "Anya...she's not supposed to die. What the hell was I doing? Blocking exits?" He shook his head angrily. "I should have been protecting her." But he had been with Dawn. Xander could understand that. Buffy trusted him with Dawn, possibly over some of the others that were where they had been at the time. It didn't help the shock and anger that was wiping through him, however. "I can't...she..." He closed his eyes, back still turned on Buffy. "I can't believe this. Anya can't die."

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