Sam’s hands slid under the edges of her top, massaging her shoulders. She loved that feeling that strength just focused all on her, on making her comfortable, relaxed. He loved her. She leaned her head back a little bit. She understood how much it bothered him when she got like this. It was only when she let herself overthink, and she knew it, she had to stop that. “I’ll talk to you, if I freak out again I won’t run okay. I was just so scared, that you’d be angry that I dared to make that comparison, that you’d hate me.” As for thinking that he was a saint for taking her back, for making that kind of commitment to her? Oh that was one that wasn’t going to go away. “Okay so...maybe I’m not as horrible as I let myself think sometimes, but you are sort of a saint for putting up with me and the crazy that comes with being with me. I’ve spent however many millennia in hell being considered nothing more than a whore, nothing better. You’re telling me I’m more than that and not expecting anything other than love in return, There’s no agenda. There’s nothing you need from me and I guess I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. I know its unhealthy. But its the first time that someone’s actually treated me like a person, like someone that mattered and didn’t have a job for me to do in return.” His hands at her shoulders as he spoke about Azazel made it very hard not to believe in everything he was saying. Maybe it was okay, that she was failing Azazel. It was such a treacherous thought, felt awful even thinking it. She tensed even in spite of his touch. “Better? I mean I’m glad I’m making you happy. It’s just hard, It feels like I’m doing something wrong even thinking this, thinking about turning away from all that. It feels like I’m betraying my past” But maybe that was okay. Maybe she should be. She let his touch calm her again, her head resting now against his chest as he worked her shoulders.
“I love you too, and I know what you’re saying is right. That failing him is...is okay. I know I can’t be that same person I was and I know its cause of you I’m becoming someone better. I love you so much and I’m holding on to that y’know. Because if I didn't have you I’d be nothing again, I’d be nobody worth a damn, just like before” He kissed at her cheek and Ruby raised a hand tilting up to meet his lips, brushing a light kiss there. “Thank you” she finally said. Just relaxing there. “Thank you”