He moved to sit beside her and with one simple gesture Ruby was left even more confused by the whole stupid argument. If that's what it was. She was scared about it all, everything that she’d said to him, she was terrified he’d leave her, terrified he wouldn’t and she’d ruin him, an entire mix of emotions besides, most of which she was still getting used to. She knew it was all complicated and stupid and ninety percent her own paranoia. She’d annoyed him with all this, but it seemed she’d gotten him concerned too. That was stupid. He shouldn’t be concerned about her. But of course he would be. She would have expected nothing less from him. And as he sat there with her, he told her everything she’d dreamed of hearing. But she still wasn’t sure. “I wanted to give you that y’know. All those nice things that make up normal. But I kept thinking about it and I don’t know how I could. Marriage. I’d get smited crossing into the damn church even if I didn’t just for considering a white dress, and even if we did something witchy or whatever, Dean would never accept it and loving you means...accepting him. Kids...well, we’ve had that rather impressive freakout already. As I recall there was flailing”, she finally let herself smile a little at the memory, “And I mean we try. We pretend don’t we. We pretend that we’re normal sometimes, booking hotels, having dinners. But I wonder is that enough for you?”
Apparently it wasn’t. Apparently normal was overrated if she wasn’t there with him. That's what he was telling her to believe. He’d rather have her than a normal life, and while he’d loved Jess, he loved her just as much. The words seemed to finally get somewhere with her. She’d heard similar from Andrea, and here it was now from Sam. So she had to be just as honest. “I want a future with you Sam, whatever that means for us. I want to know we’re going somewhere, that's why I gave you the key. Because I wanted you to know I loved you enough to want to share all of my life with you. You could come and go as you wanted, keep some stuff at my place and it’d be some little slice of normal. Then you started talking about Stanford and I figured, that's normal. That’s real life and that's what you should have. That’s what Dean would prefer you have isn’t it? Normal life, normal girl. That's what he and Buffy could have if they wanted. A life in the light” Truth was that kind of life scared her, much as she’d commit herself to Sam, body and soul, much as she wanted to be his forever, she knew, she just knew, she didn’t belong in normal. It wasn’t her, it would never be her. “I need to be sure that you’re happy. Content with me. I need to know because you’re right, I can’t keep comparing myself to her, its not fair, on me, on her, on you. I just need to know you’re okay with the twisted crazy that comes with being in love with me”