InsaneJournal

Morgana had always been a quick enough learner. It had been the so-called praise that Arthur's instructor would give her when they were children, that would cause her to narrow her eyes behind his back. Quick enough, had meant 'almost good enough', and had the unsaid but easily heard arrogance of 'for a girl'. She was taught because at eleven she had been far too impertinant and persistant for her own good. Because at eleven Uther still carried guilt whenever he looked at her. She had alway pushed herself to be better than 'good'. Which was one of the traits that had always led her to besting Arthur whenever the matched swords. No matter how he liked to deny that.

With this. With these guns ... with the training of hand to hand. She pushed herself to be better than 'good'. Morgana always had to be the best. Or so her father would say with a fond laugh. No matter how many tumbles it took for her to get there. She would pick herself back up, as if it was nothing and carry on. It was a philosophy of life to certain extant. For all that she could be a creature of emotions. With her dramatic flairs and cutting words, there were days one wouldn't be able that anything was the matter. Morgana had come to this camp and she had learnt what she had to learn. Pushing herself. Makng it seem as if her only thoughts were to succeed. To adapt. To understand. To master it all. Single-mindedly driven, focused, was how her instructors and fellow students if they chose to. Nothing had given away the fact that she worried about Gwen. Was concerned over Marian. Irritated with Merlin and Gaius. Slightly betrayed. And accepting despite it all. She would forgive them. She mostly already did. Morgana could hold a grudge but when she understood, she forgave. She did understand. Being irritated with Merlin had given her a distracion from what she felt over Arthur. How she had just itched to tell him to grow up and get over it already. Because she was still her. She was still the same. She would continously annoy, frustrate, and exasperate him. She would always be one of his biggest champions and defenders;willing to go to the ends of the earth to make sure that he stayed safe. Although he didn't know that, or at least he didn't openly acknowledge it, and she certainly wouldn't say it. She was still the same. She was just all the more special than he was.

Morgana had wanted to tell Arthur to get over it just as much as she wanted to go to Gwen and ask her talk to her. Gwen who hadn't said much to her since she'd told her about her magic. How much time did a person need to process something? If she had it, she'd grant Gwen anything but more time. She might have never said it, likely because she hadn't really thought about it until coming to this time, but Gwen's opinion mattered. A lot. The other woman might have had been her maidservant but she was also her dearest friend. Her truest friend. Status didn't diminish Gwen's worth, especially not in comparison to the frivolous women of the court. It was a hollow one but Morgana at least too comfort in the fact that at leat Gwen hadn't implied that she wanted nothing to do with her. Only Arthur. Morgana wanted their immediate acceptance, she felt that she deserved that; however, rationally she understood how that wouldn't happen. She wouldn't push them. Not in this. She had spent the entire week masking those emotions, although there had been moments when they had been boiling just below the surface. Moments when they had almost boiled over.

Today, though, she had a better control of things. Of the future weapon she was mastering and what she was feeling. Because her arm had finally stopped shaking whenever she held a gun and because Arthur had apologize. And she had accepted it. She couldn't remember the last time he had apologized to her. Moreover, while she was a bit suspicious about his motives and his questions. She was pleased that he hadn't taken long enough for it to become a matter of forgiveness. Morgana would have forgiven him. However, it was a matter of principle. They were a family. Yes, it had taken them a while to get it right. They were still attempting to get it right, over ten years later. Nevertheless, that didn't change the fact that as her little brother-like figure, he was supposed to be annoying. And supportive. And today, despite her suspicions, he had done a fair attempt at the latter. That pleased her. One down. Two more to go.

It was about her posture. And Morgana held herself and her weapon the way that they had showed her. Very briefly her fingers, shook, before she firmed her hands on the gun and pulled the trigger. She missed her targer. Taking a low breath through her nose, Morgana gazed at the target for a moment, frowning just slightly before forcing her mind to clear. Her body to relax. Focus on what she was doing. Hands shaking ... but then firm. Ready. Set ... she hit the target. Yet it still wasn't good enough. She tried again. Then again. And again. Until her fingers stopped shaking as well and as the oddly shaped material felt less like something intrusive and more ... well, not a part of her. It was more like ... it was more -

Morgana looked up quickly to her left, lowering her weapon, as she watched as someone approached her. Immediately her spine straightened but she had no other reaction. She barely knew him, Sam Winchester, yet already he left her a bit uneasy. Already she disliked him and his brother, just a little bit, even though she was waiting to make her final decision on the both. She knew when she was being weighed, judged, and dismissed. And that was what both Winchester brothers had done from the beginning. They were quite good at hiding their emotions but they had nothing on a Pendragon when it came to that barely disguised disdain. If Morgana hadn't been so bloody curious as to why she would have certainly been angrier. As it was, she was just insulted. And doubly determined to make their dislike unfounded. She was polite and sweet to a certain point. The kind of sweetness where you couldn't exactly call her on it, but it was obvious, that if you pushed, she would stab you with a kitchen knife. She was visibly gracious with their criticism and she did as she was told. All the while, attempting to figure out what it was that made both brothers, especially the taller one suspicious of her.