Deserved? It had been a long time since someone had told Ruby she deserved something that was good. Something that wasn’t death or hell. And she wanted to be his girlfriend again, wanted to be it openly. To walk around on his arm and have people know that she was his. And he was saying that she could have that back, that things could be better?. It felt like a dream she could never have imagined and likely didn’t deserve even now, whatever he said about it. But maybe she could hope again. If it wasn’t for the blood it might even be perfect. It might even be something close to normal.
He had called that old life a sunset. A sunset that would burn him now. She wasn’t sure what to make of the analogy. Was Jessica that sunlight then? What did that make her? Darkness, where he was more comfortable. Was that a good thing or not, was that fair. She had to know, much as she didn’t want to live in fear of Jessica’s memory she didn’t want Sam to settle for a monster if he really did want a better life. “So, that was the sun?” she asked, “What does that make me, Darkness, night-time. Is it good to hide there? It can’t be can it? You deserve the sun.” Analogy piled in on top of analogy as she spoke, but it was no less true for it. This was Sam, and she’d hidden him in the dark for far too long. But he was holding onto her arms now and she was closer again than she’d been, and when he talked like that. Explained how he loved her. It felt so right. Like maybe she did deserve to be in his arms again. He was talking like he wanted her. All the things they shared, and then he pulled her close made her look at him. It felt so good just to be there again.
“I can’t give you normal, or, kids or whatever and I think I’d get auto smote if I tried for a church. But I can swear to be all those things you said, if that’s really honestly what you want. If you don’t want normal. If you honestly don’t want to walk in the sunlight.” She was inches from him now, still not believing she was the best thing that had happened to him. Still with worries, so many worries. But maybe she was better than she believed. Maybe he could make her what he deserved to have, if she listened to him and learned from him. Maybe.
"Thanks for taking a risk on me. I know its got to be hard. I know there are times when I screw up and I swear, I’m trying. But I just need you to tell me, what you want, what you think you deserve, and if walking in the dark with me is gonna be enough for you. You deserve so many good things in your life and I don’t know how to give those to you.” If you can accept that. If I can be what you want in spite of that then I’ll stop thinking you deserve more than me. But you have to be honest with me. How much do you miss the sunlight?”