"You just proved it to me right there, Ruby." Sam's expression softened a little, fading away from that annoyed stance it had taken up only moments before. His voice came out a bit more gently as well, indicating that he was going at this as genuinely as he possibly could. "What you're feeling now? That guilt, fear, and worry? It's what's keeping you from going back. Not wanting to destroy everything that we have here is what's going to keep you from turning into the person that you were before. You're motivated. You're feeling. I admit, some days I don't know whether or not you're gonna make it - but hearing things like that? It's exactly what makes me believe that we stand a chance." He squeezed at her shoulder once more, then let go. "That guilt, especially, is good. I don't want it to overwhelm you, but you need to remember it. That's what makes you different from those other demons. Knowing where you mess up. Knowing the difference between right and wrong and feeling these things when you make decisions in your life. It'll take you a long way if you hold onto it, Ruby. I promise you that."
Sam let go of her shoulder, hand resuming it's former position buried into his pocket. "I'm clinging onto what I want those memories to become. They're screwed up now, but that doesn't mean I want for them to go away. I want us to have moments like that again. Without the lies and the sneaking around and the uncertainty. I want us to get better - hell, I want for you and I to go to some random restaurant and declare that we're the King and Queen of France so we can get free meals and an awesome table while everyone around us debates on whether or not we're actually telling the truth." He smiled a little at that. "I'm clinging onto the possibility that those memories that we had, messed up as they were, can be real. No strings attached. Just us, without all the complications. Do you understand that?"
He was going to let things go from there, but Sam froze when Ruby chose to continue. Eyes meeting her own, Sam grabbed Ruby by both of her shoulders this time and held her in place. He stared at her uncertainly, as if he wasn't quite sure if he was hearing her correctly. "You're not the one that I'm supposed to what? Is there really anyone else in the world suited for me? Come on." Sam didn't understand where that was coming from. Before now, she had been all too eager to talk about how she wanted nothing more than to be with him. Now Ruby was going on about how she wasn't good enough? Since when was Ruby the type of person to kick herself when she was already down? "Didn't you only get involved with me because you were out to seduce me? You would have never done it yourself either." Really, that was probably the only real good thing that had come out of that fucked up plan of Azazel's. Without it, he and Ruby would have never gotten together. Sam didn't even know if he'd have ever met her. And if they had met, it would have likely been at the edge of a sword. Figuratively speaking.