Well that was a kick in the teeth. Finding it out, that she’d broken those moments they shared. She’d pretty much frozen in place where she was, just having picked a spot on the wall to focus on, she had to focus on it, just watch that one place on the wall. Because if she looked at Sam right now she thought she really might break down. Their entire relationship was built on those moments, her life with him was built on those moments and now they were gone. “Then what are we fighting to save?” she asked in bitter confusion. “Take away those moments and what do we actually have here that we can look back on and say is worth fighting for, maybe, maybe we are stupid like everyone thinks. Maybe we’re not supposed to...” No, they were, they had to be supposed to come back from this. Life couldn’t suck that much. Not even for her. “You’re telling me, that right now, we have nothing. No past worth a damn and a future we have to build from scratch cause the happiest moments of my life hurt you to think about?. Do you know how confusing that is?”
He missed being hers. Good for him.
“Where are we? If you really miss it. Being mine. If you really miss all we had Sam, then where do we go from here?. I miss joking with you, I miss lying in bed after we’ve been together, you put your arms around me and the world makes sense. And we flirt, even now, we flirt, and I think maybe its a step toward what we had. But it never is, you have no good memories of us. Why are you still fighting for us? What’s making it worth it for you?” The warmth had gone from his eyes as the joke fizzled and died, and Ruby walked away completely, going to the window and watching the street, the normal people and their normal lives. She even hated them all, just a little bit as they walked past her window oblivious to the conversation, to the argument they would never understand. “Did I ever give you anything good Sam?. Was there ever a moment in among all those betrayals and lies that you can look at now as worth fighting to get back to. Or what is this? Why are you here Sam, why did you bother coming over at all?” She couldn’t do this, couldn’t ask this, couldn’t even look at him while he answered her, instead she kept her gaze on the people outside, those people she hated for their normalcy.
“I can’t ever give you normal or right, but I thought I gave you something real in spite of the lie. Turns out I couldn’t even do that right”