It was a different approach for Sam. Definitely not one she was used to, being so direct like that, Just starting outright into a discussion of their argument. He'd been thinking about it, and drowning his sorrows. She'd seen that part. Vividly. She stepped back to properly let him inside and gestured toward the seats in the centre of the living area. This apartment, it had been more theirs than just hers for a long time now, and moments like this pained her. Sam seeming awkward in her presence, in this place. He shouldn't. She didn't want that. This should be somewhere he was comfortable being, both of them should be happy about being here. She remembered he'd helped her buy it and how excited they'd both been.
"Thinking. Yeah, me too. I realise I should have told you about the police station, Henrickson and that virgin, I know how hard you tried to save them, and I took that away from you in the hopes of teaching you a lesson. I know thats wrong. And not just...cause its you. Cause I hurt you. Their lives were worth more than a lesson. So I'm sorry, about that. Its no different than what I did to Emily I guess, she had a whole future and then I took that away from her. She had family in Wyoming. Friends. I do understand the bad things Sam. I just never cared before you, and now all I can do is care. I can't bring back Henrickson or the Virgin or Emily, can't give them back what I took, so..."
So what, where did she go from here, what came next? What did you do after realising your entire life was built on being a monster. And that now you had to change, because you'd dissappointed the man you loved.
"And the drinking was okay until you decided you could drive, then I had to start considering hexing you until you learned. But Dean came and got you, didn't he. It was all okay?" She smiled slightly, "I'd offer you a beer now, but would you hate it?. I have your favourites"
She had what he really craved as well, but she wouldn't bring that up. If he wanted it he could ask her. She'd give it to him, she'd cut open her arm because she still didn't know how to say no to him. But she'd make sure it was him asking not her, she'd never ask him again.