Remus felt an overwhelming rush of guilt as he watched his friend. He heard the shallowness of his breath and more than anything he wanted to fix it. He wanted to hug Sirius, to hold Sirius, but a line had been drawn. A line between being strictly friends and something more. Would he ever be able to hug Sirius again without awkwardness? Would he forgive him so they could at least talk? And Dora, she was his family--what about her? He wasn't sure how Dora would react actually which was strange since he could generally anticipate her reactions. Which was why he shouldn't have been surprised to see her at Hogwarts that day, but he was and it still bothered him.
Swallowing the lump in his throat, Sirius began to voice something that had crossed Remus' mind more than once. The mantra he had repeated over and over again came to mind. Too old. Too poor. Too dangerous. Dora had never listened to any of it though. Not ever. "I know." he muttered, because he did. It had been one of his concerns, but all he saw now was Dora as she was. He loved her as she was. "-She's an adult now." he replied, clearing his throat and trying not to feel like a dirty old man. He winced at the harsh sound of his laugh though--lacking any mirth, any warmth--any of the things that made Sirius Sirius. He knew it was his fault, but there was nothing to be done about it.
Looking down, Remus easily pulled the night Sirius was talking about to mind. Sure, they had a lot of them but that one held a certain amount of significance because it was the last of them. But--that had been years ago. Years that felt like decades. For him, last night consisted of trying to get Teddy to go to sleep and laughing when Dora broke yet another cup before curling up in front of the fire and trying to pretend that there wasn't a war going on outside the comfort of their home. Little did they know then that that would also be a last for them. "That was years ago for me." he said softly, licking his lips and pursing them together. "-Sirius-I really am sorry. I'm sorry. I know you don't want to hear that, but I am.--For this. For losing you. For hurting you. I'd never want to hurt you. I didn't chose to fall in love with her, it just happened." he explained, "I'm not sorry for that. Just like I'm not sorry for loving you. It's not like I stopped once I married her. I didn't." he just wanted him to understand--but he understood how much this was to hear. How he would feel if he were in Sirius' shoes. "I still did and do, and I hope- I hope you'll forgive me because I've missed you Sirius. More than anyone, I've missed you. I want you in my life. I want to talk to you, to be able to be near you, to be close to you. I don't expect it to be easy at first, nor do I expect you to want that right away.--I just--I hope--you can understand." he said with a sigh. "And--if you can't forgive me, don't--don't let it stop you from talking to her. She loves you too Sirius. She missed you too. She did." he said, finally looking over at him, giving him an imploring look. He doubted willing him to understand would work though.