Dora and Addi
For some ridiculous reason, Pandora assumed that the announcement was going to be their engagement. That he'd gone ahead and asked already and this was it. So when Addi began to speak, it caught the witch completely off guard as the words started to sink in.
Her face paled drastically as they did sink in, and she started thinking, no, oh no, Pol, don't. Don't ask now. If he'd told her, if he'd said anything or come to her like he had in the past... she would have counseled him to wait. For the love of the gods, wait. But she hadn't seen as much of him since she'd reconnected with the others, for some reason, and she wasn't exactly Miss Mobility, with the twins and all.
The words of his proposal hammered at her, leaving her feeling like her skull was ringing. First the assurance that it wasn't related... and then how it wasn't even phrased as a question. McKay, who was in her lap because he'd been being so fussy and didn't want to be set down, but didn't really want anyone, though she was the most preferable if he had to have someone, had started fussing at the outset, sensing his mother's tension, but as her blood pressure sky rocketed, he started wailing.
A distant part of her knew she should be embarrassed at this interruption. But she was more focused on not losing control of herself as her own insecurities and demons, reflected in part on Adelaide's face, started pounding at her. She stood up in a quiet rustle of skirts, having asked as always to be seated on an end, in part because of her paranoia and in part because of the babies, now. Ewan, near her, was boxed in and held Ainsley, so she moved around to Z, handed her McKay with a barely whispered, "Please," and then whisked nondescriptly around the corner before she even heard or saw what Addi's answer was. Not making a scene, just quietly getting the fuck out.
Once out of sight, she sprinted through the kitchen, her fists in her skirts, and outside into the cool air, her breath starting to come fast now as the panic attack slammed into her with full force. One of her biggest fears was that Ewan had only really married her because of the babies. Even though the ring had come first. She held onto that knowledge tightly but she still worried, it still kept her up some nights. Her triggers were odd, at times, but she'd been up all night worrying about today, after Phillip's message the other day. She'd already been tense, but this... hitting her own insecurities just so... it sent her over the edge.
She always seemed put together in public, or even in front of most people. She wasn't even sure Ewan knew how it got sometimes. He was gone all day working, and so there was plenty of times to deal with her anxiety alone. She managed admirably, really, but that didn't mean it wasn't a struggle. Now, her arms wrapped around the porch support as she nearly ran into it, and it kept her upright as she pressed her head against it, eyes closing tightly. Still bone white, with those high spots of colour, like blood droplets against milk.