RP: A Dinner Party Who: Addi, Phillip, Dora, Hyperion, Genevieve, Persephone, Ewan, Zahara, Coop, Quin, Lance, Parminder, and Tate (with the NPC children!) [add your tags, please!] When: Sunday, November 19, 2009, evening Where: The cottage What: Addi and Phillip have invited their closest friends and family to tell them the news, but Phillip has an something more planned. Warnings: Highly emotional, some references to past abuse
Despite her surety in her decision, Addi was, understandably she thought, incredibly nervous about tonight. While normally one to crave and adore attention, this was not something she was particularly thrilled to have to announce to her and Phillip's closest friends and family. Maybe if they'd been together longer, had more of a solid foundation for their future... but they'd only known each other for just under six months, and everything was moving so fast. But she had warmed to the idea of this baby, even if she was absolutely exhausted and fed up with the rather incessant nausea, which she hoped would not make itself known tonight.
Everything had turned out wonderfully so far, though. Tate had arrived earlier to set up in the kitchen. Magic had been worked to enlarge the dining room to accommodate everyone at the table. There was a corner set aside for the children to play in, a little easel set up for Auri to draw if she'd like and a few age-appropriate toys for Fee, and there was also a cot to put the twins in if they got tired of being held.
After a bit of socializing but before the food was quite ready, Addi went to stand in front of the hearth, her hand in Phillip's. She looked up at him with a small, hesitant smile, gathering some strength from his steady presence next to her. "Thank you all for coming, especially on such short notice," she began, gathering everyone's attention to her. "Phillip and I have an announcement, and it didn't feel right doing it over the network."
She took a deep breath, glancing at Phillip again before looking back at their crowd of loved ones. She focused on Zee first, then Vieve, trusting that they would help keep things positive in the wake of her announcement, as Addi still had that pit in her stomach, that dread that people would respond poorly. "Although it's been entirely unplanned and far sooner than we would have chosen had it been our choice, Phillip and I are going to be parents. I'm pregnant, tentatively due June fifteenth," she announced, knowing her smile was edged with her nerves but not quite able to hide it entirely.
☁
He knew how worried she was-- he would have had to have been blind for him not to notice. A part of him couldn't help but wonder why she hadn't asked him to make the announcement, but he also knew what a big deal this was to her, too. She had the right to make the announcement if nothing else, especially when one considered what had been taken away from her that had led to it in the first place. Her agency and choice robbed from her... that was likely what troubled him most about this little announcement. If they judged before knowing all of the details-- the reasons by the fact that this had never been intentional, had never been planned, and certainly couldn't have been foreseen... not that it helped, of course, that the only thing his siblings had known prior to this was that he'd be proposing today, the lot of them likely feeling rather blindsided by the announcement from Addi.
All the same, nothing changed. This was a happy thing for him, whether they approved of it or not. He knew just how worried Addi was, but in the end, it ultimately didn't matter too much to him if they didn't. This was their choice, first and foremost, after all.
"Which... leads me to my announcement." He'd never been too good at public speaking outside of the courtroom, and this was no different, Phillip swallowing hard as he touched the small box in his pocket for temporary reassurance, his heart in his throat. "Which, I should add, is genuinely unrelated to the pregnancy announcement, as Addi will probably be able to tel you that I've been thinking about this for a while. But it seemed silly to give up the chance when all of our friends and family are already gathered together to celebrate, anyway." Turning to Addi, he smiled, taking her hands in his. "You are, without a doubt, the most patient, loving, kindest woman I have ever met. I don't think there's a bad bone in your body. You like me for who I am to the point that you were willing to wait for me, and you more than tolerate my workaholic tendencies, you help me with them. I can't picture there ever being a day that I won't want to spend waking up next to you, and the fact that the thought of having a baby with you doesn't terrify me is a testament unto itself just how sure I am of this. Which is why..." he pulled the box out of his pocket before getting down on one knee and opening it to reveal the ring inside, "I want to take this opportunity to ask you to marry me."
☁
When Phillip chimed in with an announcement of his own, she looked at him with furrowed brows, not sure what he could have to add to it. She knew he wouldn't tell them about Roberto's part in all of this, that it was up to her to decide who knew, but what else could it be? And then he started talking, and a ball of unease settled in her stomach, growing with each word. He wasn't...? Oh dear god, he was... Her breath caught in her throat, suffocating her, and she turned her head with a wild-eyed look of panic as she met Zee's eyes briefly.
For a moment, she couldn't hear his words. This wasn't happening, this couldn't be happening, not now! It was too much, too soon, and she'd just told everyone she was pregnant! Why would he do this now? Tears sprung to her eyes, but she prayed they wouldn't fall. As he dropped to one knee, she sucked in air on a gasp, her flight or fight reflex feeling triggered and making her want to run away. She'd desperately wished to be a witch many times in her life, but this had to be one of the most desperate moments, for if she was a witch, she could just disappear. But she couldn't, and he was looking up at her with that genuine adoration he had for her, an expression she normally loved seeing.
And then her eyes landed on the ring. It was gorgeous and despite the situation, a past conversation with Coop popped in her head: He said he would get me a tiara that matched my ring, what does it mean?! // It means he's been thinking about what ring he would get you and knows there's a tiara that would match it. That had been in July, before Coop and Vieve got married, before she'd told Phillip she loved him. Had Coop been right? Had Phillip been thinking so seriously that early on? She knew she needed to say something, but words eluded her, or at least the ones that were kind and gentle and appropriate in this situation. If had been just the two of them... but with their closest friends and family all there staring at them, what was she supposed to do?
If she said no, it would crush him. If she said yes, she'd be agreeing to something she wasn't nearly ready for. She felt trapped, but all she could do was nod her head yes. They could have a really long engagement, right?
☁
He could practically feel the reluctance coming off her in waves, Phillip wondering if she would lie in order to not humiliate him in front of their family and friends. Probably. They could always decide it to be a promise ring later-- she could wear it on any finger, for all he cared. He had no interest in claiming ownership of her, after all, and he stood by that. So while he had absolutely been thinking so seriously that early on, and Coop had absolutely been right about his assumption, he knew that few people ever felt as certain about anything as he did about most things.
Moving to stand, he took her hand to kiss the back of it.
"It can just be a promise ring for now, I don't mind." He wasn't stupid, after all, and he knew her far well enough to know when she was panicking.
☁
No, he wasn't stupid, but he wasn't making anything better, either. He could have taken her silent answer at face value, put the ring on her finger, and let them try to get through the rest of the night as painlessly as possible, but instead he backtracked and tried to give her an out. Addi's mortification grew, her cheeks tinging awfully. Everyone was staring, and she could feel the tears burning as they threatened to fall. She didn't know how to fix this situation, how to make it right, and her stomach was churning the longer the seconds ticked by.
"Phillip, I... I..." She brought her free hand up to cover his where it held hers, taking a deep breath. "I love you, but I..." She pulled both her hands away then, shaking her head. She needed air and space and to not have everyone's eyes on her. "Just..." She held her hands out in front of her, waving them slightly toward him in a please just stay here sort of signal. "I'll be back," she promised. Without waiting for any sort of response, she darted around the corner, grateful that the fireplace was in the middle of the room instead of along an outer wall that would have forced her to go through everyone, and through the kitchen to slip out the back door.
Hype came up to Phillip then, resting a hand on his shoulder. "Just give her some space, all right? I'm sure she'll be back in soon." He wasn't sure of anything, actually, but he was worried about both of them.
☁
"I'm not worried," he said softly, shrugging. He knew there was an element of risk involved in asking her; he'd always known she was a flight risk, at least in part. But she always came around. If there was one thing he knew, though, for certain, it was that she always came around in the end. So no, he wasn't worried. Maybe that was stupid, but as far as he was concerned, it made far more sense to take this for what it was, to not worry so much about it in the first place. He spent more than enough of his life being anxious. This didn't need to be part of it.