RP: His Crooked Smile
Who: Tate, Naomi, & Zeke (Naomi and Zeke are NPC, Naomi by Tanya, Zeke by bothish) What: Paternity When: October 23rd Where: Pie shop & Naomi's Mother's home Warnings: Emotional, talk of babies, cancer, and things.
Naomi was nervous when she made her way to the pie shop Tate had told her about. She'd left Zeke at home with her mum, not wanting to spring him on Tate in such a dramatic way, though she still hadn't quite figured out how to tell him that he had a son. But she was dying--she'd come to terms with it despite still being unbearably angry at the universe about it--and if Tate really was sober, then Zeke deserved to know him.
When she got there, he wasn't there yet, and she ordered tea from the counter and took it to a counter to wait. The pies looked and smelled fantastic, but she didn't think she could stomach anything just then, so she thought she might bring Zeke by another time to try them out.
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Tate had been running a few minutes late, only because he had gotten caught up making a cake for Quin and the kids. He was going to drop it by the house later in the week, a congratulations about the engagement. He felt terrible that he'd been so busy with work that he had found out through the papers, but he thought the cake would be appreciated anyway.
He noticed her the second he walked into the shop, he even felt his stomach drop. He had no idea why she had asked to meet like this. He had fed himself the lie that potentially she wanted to get back together, he definitely wasn't opposed. They had been good, when he was sober. He was sober now, he thought maybe the stars were aligning and things were making sense in his life. He still had to figure out everything with Emilia, but they had an open relationship. There was no harm in meeting her for pie.
"Hey, sorry my cake needed a few extra minutes in the oven. I didn't think it'd take so long." Thank the Gods for apparation, he thought. He fell into the seat beside her, flashing her a crooked smile, and setting his phone down on the counter next to himself. "How've you been?" It was rude to just ask her why she wanted to meet with him, wasn't it?
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Every time the little bell above the door chimed signaling that someone had come or gone, Naomi looked up. She'd been a little bit early, she knew, and waiting was making her feel like she was jumping out of her skin. But then Tate finally came through the door, and she tried to smile at him--he did look good, better than when she'd seen him last!--but she knew it hadn't quite hit the mark.
"Cake?" she echoed with a raised brow. "Since when do you bake?" He was a brilliant chef, but from what she remembered, he'd never seemed all that interested in baking. She'd much rather keep talking about him, but he'd asked about her, and she hesitated noticeably, looking down at her tea. "Uh, well, great in some areas and not so great in others," she answered, erring on the side of vague honesty. "You?"
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Although he had caught that weak smile, he didn't know if he could comment. Maybe she wasn't here to get back together with him, though he couldn't imagine why else she would be there. "Cake, I've been baking since about June? I've got a deal with my manager, I stay clean, I keep the job." It was what happened when you were too honest just chatting with your landlord, he didn't mind the deal though. It was an added incentive to keep himself clean. He enjoyed the job, he needed the job, it was a good set up.
He frowned though as she said not so great in others, "I'm more interested in the not so great in others. What's going on? Is that why you're here?" His mind was running through a list of possibilities, it had been far too long for an STD related thing, wasn't it? That could be done over the phone, he was being ridiculous.
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That seemed like a pretty sweet arrangement, even better if it was actually working to help him stay sober, though Naomi was a bit concerned that something might make him slip up again. She couldn't trust him with Zeke if that was the case. Her mum would raise him if she needed to, but she didn't want to force her to give up her life just because she was dying. And maybe it wasn't fair of her to spring this on Tate either, but she liked to think she'd have done this upon hearing he was sober even if she wasn't dying. "That's good. That's really good, Tate."
Of course that would be what he latched onto, though she wasn't quite sure how to tell him she was dying. "Er, yeah. It is." Just spit it out, like tearing off a bandaid, she thought. "I have cancer. Stage four, incurable. The treatments aren't likely to extend my life much, and they were making me sick, so I decided I'd rather have a slightly shorter lifespan than one plagued with the side effects of chemo and radiation. They're projecting I've only got a few months left."
Naomi shifted in her chair then, reaching a hand behind her to pull a small picture from her back pocket. Sucking in a deep breath, she set it on the table and pushed it over to him. "This is my son, Ezekiel. Zeke. He's three, Tate." She blew out a hard breath and kept her dark eyes focused on him. "He's your son."
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Tate's eyes grew wider as she said she had cancer, incurable. It didn't hit, his brain hadn't even really fully registered what she had said, and she was continuing. Treatments aren't likely to extend her life much, it was all so much. "A few months?" His tone held his disbelief, just a few months? Was she giving him a chance to say goodbye?
His thoughts had spiraled a moment, until she was setting a photograph on the counter, pushing it over to him. His grey eyes slid to look at the smiling little boy in the picture, he was three. Tate had started to do the math before she said it, but hearing it aloud made his face drain of color. His son, he had a son, it was the little face smiling back at him from the photograph. Grey eyes slowly lifted to look at her, anger, confusion, and so many emotions held in his gaze. He was angry he had missed the past three years, he was angry she was dying, he was angry she was coming to him only because she was dying, he was confused why she was coming to him though, he was confused as to what he was supposed to do, and his thoughts couldn't seem to choose which emotion it wanted to land on.
"Why now?" came out before he could stop himself, he shook his head then, looking back down at the photograph. "I-I..I'm not ungrateful, I.." He knew why she didn't come by sooner, he had been a drunken mess. While he had been able to keep his shenanigans to a minimum when he had first moved to London, France had seen the worst of his alcoholism. "Fuck, Naomi," was said in a low groan, his head shaking. "Just a few months?" Tate asked in a defeated tone.
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"Yeah, yes, just a few months. I'm hoping I'll have that long, for the holidays and all." Zeke probably wouldn't remember her, he was so young still, but she wanting to have one more holiday season with him. She and her mum were making sure to shoot plenty of videos for him to remember her by, but she knew it wouldn't be the same.
She could see the emotions playing out over her face, and though her hackles raised a bit that he would dare be angry with her at all for keeping Zeke a secret from him, she knew he was at least somewhat justified. But he had been a bloody mess in France, and she couldn't expose her son to that. That's why it was so important to her that he was sober now.
At his question, she took in a deep breath to try to control her own swirling emotions and respond kindly to him. "Because you're sober, Tate. I found out a few months ago, but I was still in treatment, and I just couldn't deal with it then," she explained, hoping he could understand that at least. "I'm not... I'm not asking you to take him and raise him. He's with my mum right now; I moved in with her last year after I found out about the cancer. I just... If you really are sober and going to stay sober, then he should know you. You're his father. There's this whole other side of his heritage that he deserves to know." Racial and cultural, though even more than she knew, as Zeke had started showing small signs of magic though she didn't realize it.
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For the holidays, made his heart ache. He had loved her when they were together, he knew that his actions likely hadn't shown that very well. He had hit that spiral, just after finding out his father had passed. The drinking had gotten out of control, he had gotten out of control. He hadn't blamed her one bit for leaving, he had missed her though. He had missed his chance to chase after her, but he'd known. He'd known she wouldn't put up with his shit, there hadn't been a chance. Now he was wishing he had.
His head bobbed in a nod, he understood why she couldn't come to him months ago. As he let logic seep into his brain, he was realizing just why she hadn't come around to tell him just after she had gotten pregnant. He had been an absolute wreck. "What if I want to? I... I know that my being sober since March isn't exactly enough to sway you into thinking that's an option..." He chewed at his lower lip. "I could introduce you to Quin, you can see that I've got a stable support system here too." Just hearing that there was a whole other side of his heritage that he deserved to know had Tate wondering if he'd shown any magical abilities. How could he ask his muggle ex if their son was showing signs of magic? "When can I meet him?" It seemed better to dwell on their son than on her being sick, he wanted to see him.
It hit him then that he hadn't thought about if he could handle having a kid. Where would the kid sleep? He didn't have an extra room in his flat, he didn't know if he could continue living where he was if he took in his son. He had to stop thinking of it as the kid, it his was his son. His grey eyes fell back to the picture, his hand coming up to pick it up from the countertop and look at it. Zeke had his crooked smile, Tate felt tears welling up in his eyes. "Fuck, Naomi," he said with a low sigh. "Just until the holidays?" he asked softly, his heart falling. "I should have come after you. I wanted to, I just knew you'd never put up with my bullshit..." He sniffled then, shaking his head.
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Naomi hesitated, looking unsure as her eyes searched his. "Quin's your... step mother, right?" She thought she remembered that right. "And it's not an option right now, but after I'm gone... it's going to be up to my mum," she explained. "I know she'd rather be able to just be his grandmother, but you're going to have to prove you're up for it. Being a parent isn't easy, and being a single parents is even harder." And if it drove him back to drinking... she couldn't stand the thought of it.
"Soon," she answered first. Even if Tate didn't take Zeke in and raise him, she still wanted him to be a part of his life, and she wanted to be able to introduce them herself, to see them get to know one another before she died. "We can... Well, we can go after this, if you'd like." She didn't have a lot of time left, so she didn't want to waste it, though she would respect it if he needed a little more time to wrap his head around it before meeting Zeke.
When she saw his eyes fill with tears, she felt a bit of panic come over her. God no, she didn't want him to cry, because then she might cry, and she'd shed enough bloody tears over the entire situation. "I wouldn't have," she agreed with a sad smile. "There was a time when I tried to convince myself that knowing about Zeke would force you to get clean, and it might have worked out that way, but I just couldn't take that chance." She'd done what she felt was right to protect her son, and she'd do it the same if she had to do it all over again.
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"Yeah, I uh.. Fixed things there." There was a lot more that went with that story, a lot more that he wasn't about to get into just this second. He was a bit more concerned with what was going on with Naomi and his son, apparently his name was Zeke. "I'd rather it be up to you." He couldn't seem to turn off his honesty switch, he knew though that he didn't want it to be her mother's decision. It was their son, she should be the one to make the decision. "I just... I'd feel better about it all if I knew you were on board. I know it isn't easy, and I know that I haven't given it much thought... He's our son, I need to do this."
"I'd like to go after this, I've got today off." He could drop that cake off later. He gave a watery laugh when she agreed with him. "It might have helped," Tate said in a soft voice, it also might not have. They say the only real way to get sober and stay sober is when it's for yourself. He had done this for himself, even if he tended to tell other people it was so he could be in his siblings lives. "Let's just go see him?" he said with a head bob towards the door, he wanted to apparate. He had to keep reminding himself that she was a muggle, he couldn't just apparate to his son. He had been out of touch with the muggle world for far too long.
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There was a story there, Naomi was sure, but she wasn't going to be asking just then. Maybe in a few weeks after the shock of everything had worn off and they'd had a bit more contact she would ask, but not right now. "I understand that, and I agree that it should be my decision. So you'll just have to prove yourself to me before I'm gone," she said, hints of both teasing and challenge in her voice. She and Tate had been good together once, before the drinking had intruded on their relationship beyond what she could handle, and seeing him again, seeing him sober and so earnest about being a part of Zeke's life... it stirred some of that back up in her.
"All right," she said softly, her stomach knotting with the reality that her son would finally be meeting his father in just a little bit. She doubted Zeke would know what was going on, though the three year old was a smart little bugger. She stood up and motioned toward the picture he still had. "You can keep that." She had plenty of other pictures of Zeke, and she thought it was only right that he get to keep one while they were sorting everything out. "We'll have to take the bus down," she told him, grimacing faintly. She'd had to sell her car to help pay for things while she'd been in treatment, as she hadn't been able to work.
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Tate smirked when she challenged him, she was definitely still the same Naomi. He didn't mind one bit, he rather enjoyed seeing that she was still in there. He couldn't imagine how hard all of this had to be on her, not just telling him about their son, but having to handle knowing she would be leaving their son. He felt his heart tug, he reached a hand up to wipe under his eyes. "Shit, you're a pain in the ass," he teased then as he moved to get up from his stool. He hadn't ordered a thing, so there was no tab for him to settle up.
"Are we telling him who I am? Will he understand?" Tate was trying to think about Felix, would he understand if his father walked in the door tomorrow? He didn't think it likely, though he wondered if there was some level of understanding there. He nodded his head when she mentioned the bus, he was trying to think if he had any muggle cash on him. "I can spring for a taxi? Let me do that, please?" He slipped hands into his pockets to dig for his wallet, he was certain he kept some muggle cash in there. His father always insisted, and with as little time as he had been spending in the muggle world as of late, he was certain he had enough for the cab fair.
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Naomi laughed appreciatively, smiling unabashedly at him. "What, you didn't think something ridiculous like dying would lighten me up, did you?" she teased right back. The banter was familiar, and it felt better than she wanted to admit to be called a pain in the ass in such an affectionate way. And speaking so cavalierly about dying was something she hoped he would get used to fast. It was her way of dealing with it, and she wasn't going to sugarcoat it for anyone.
"Yeah, we're telling him. I'm not going to lie to him; that would only confuse him as he gets older. He'll understand enough. He's been talking intelligibly for, oh, about six months, I want to say, and he knows that some people have daddies." It wasn't something they'd talked about in depth yet because he wasn't quite old enough to ask yet, but she was sure he understood the basic concept of a daddy.
Although proud at times, Naomi had no problem nodding. "Yeah, sure." A taxi would be more comfortable than the bus and it would get them there faster, so she wasn't going to argue. "Let me just..." She pulled her phone out of her pocket and sent a text to her mum to let her know they were both heading over. "All right, let's go then," she said, leading the way out of the pie shop.
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"No, no, of course not. Heaven forbid." He gave her a teasing eye roll, chuckling as he slipped the picture into his pocket. He was glad that they would be telling his son, he was glad that she still had her sense of humor, he was glad for a lot of things just now. Another chuckle left him when he heard that he had been talking intelligibly for about six months. "Of course he has. He's got my genes. We're genius level smart." He flashed a wink at her, before he started towards the door.
He dug his own phone from his pocket, calling up the cab company that he kept in his phone. The last time he had made the call, he'd been extremely drunk. He had found that he could apparate small distances lately, though when he had been heavily drinking he hadn't been able to at all. If it wasn't for that, he wouldn't have had the cab number in his phone.
As the pair stepped outside of the pie shop, he had ended the call, slipping it back into his pocket. "Alright, I've got the cab on it's way. It should be here in fifteen." He bit his lower lip as he looked at his shoes a moment. "Has there been anyone else? I mean... That's rude." He sighed softly. "I've no right to ask if you've been dating."
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She rolled her eyes at his quip about his genes. "Lord help him," she said with a touch of dramatics. Aside from his issues with sobriety though, she knew Tate was a good person. She was banking on him having left alcohol behind for good now and letting that good person center shine through.
"Okay," she said as she tugged her coat on over her t-shirt. It wasn't terribly cold yet, but it was definitely cooling down. His question surprised her, and she looked at him with raised brows as she processed that he was actually asking her that. And then, she laughed, not actually minding that he'd asked. "I didn't get married, if that's what you're asking," she answered dryly. "But no, there hasn't been anyone serious. A couple of meaningless trysts," she added, a bit of mischief shining in her eyes. "You?"
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Tate chuckled at her reaction, shaking his head. "Shut it, you know he's got some good genes." Though he did worry a bit about the additive part, he wondered what that would mean for their son. He just hoped that her good genes balanced it all out somehow. "What genes of yours did he get? I saw my smile on that cute little face. Did he get all your sass?" If he did, lord help him Tate was going to have a hard time being the single parent.
"Not exactly. I lost the toxic one when I left. She's blessedly left me alone." Which had been a blessing all on it's own. He had been worried before that maybe she would try to follow, but it had been almost a year without a word. He was sure she had found someone else to make miserable. He didn't want to explain Emilia, he didn't want to explain how he had an open relationship. It didn't matter right then, all that mattered was Naomi and Zeke.
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She couldn't help smirking a bit, though that was all the agreement he would get. At least she knew without a doubt that Zeke was Tate's son, and she had to give the guy credit for not calling that into question. "Oh, you know he did. And my determination. He was walking at nine months old and he's already potty trained," she said with more than a little pride. He was her pride and joy, no doubt about that.
That was a relief, that the toxic bitch had apparently left him alone. "So no one serious then who might be thrown by your three year old son suddenly being in the picture?" That was probably for the best. It was part of why she hadn't even really bothered trying to date seriously after leaving Tate. At first it was because she was pregnant, and then she had a baby and was a single working mum, and then she'd got sick. Her life just hadn't really welcomed that sort of relationship, but she didn't regret it.
She studied him for a long moment. "It's really good to see you doing so much better, Tate," she told him earnestly, reaching out a hand toward him, though she wasn't sure what she intended to do with it.
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He swelled with pride hearing that their son was already potty trained, he was excited to meet the little genius. "Well damn, he might just be going places." He chuckled and shook his head. He couldn't wait to tell Quin, the only mother figure he had left in the world. Then the question of dating, anyone who be thrown to know he had a three year old... He shook his head. "Not exactly... Do you remember the woman I had been seeing on and off for years?" He shrugged. "She's around. It isn't serious though, she's also dating someone else... I'd say she's more of a tryst." She had used the word earlier, it seemed rather perfect.
Tate flashed her that crooked smile, his arm moving to slip around her waist, hugging her without a warning. "It's really good to see you." He wished she wasn't sick, though he knew she likely thought that as well. There was no need to bring it up again, she knew it was happening.
He pulled away a moment later as a horn honked behind them, the cab had arrived. He moved away, opening the door for her. He motioned with his head, "Ladies first."
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Naomi's eyebrows shot up at the mention of the woman he'd been seeing on and off for years. She vaguely remembered some mention of the woman, but it hadn't seemed terribly relevant at the time. She just hoped that this woman wouldn't cause any trouble for Tate where Zeke was concerned. "I see," she said noncommittally. Her first priority was and always would be Zeke, but she knew that it was important for her to put a little faith in Tate now.
The hug only half-surprised her, but she returned it, sinking in his embrace with a soft sigh. Sometimes it was hard always having to be the strong one, and even though it was different than it had been four years ago, it felt good to have him holding her for just that moment.
When he pulled away, she adjusted her coat and then slipped into the cab, scooting over to the far side so he could get in through the same door. Once he'd closed it, she leaned forward to give their driver the address. It shouldn't be too long of a drive, she thought as she sat back and pulled her seat belt on. Ten short minutes later they were pulling up in front of a narrow two story home in a row of similar homes. "This is us," she told Tate when the driver parked the car at the curb. While he paid, she got out and went around to wait on the sidewalk for him.
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Tate didn't like the way she said that, I see. He had a feeling he knew what that meant, that she saw a fault in that entire situation. He didn't think that it mattered though, his son would come first. He didn't think that poking that subject just now though was important, he knew for sure though that if Emilia had an issue with his son... Well, he wouldn't be able to date her anymore. It had been an instant thing and he hadn't even noticed, he was now a packaged deal, and willing to put space between himself and anyone who didn't want to be part of his new life.
Sliding into the cab behind her, he pulled the door shut and they were on their way. His stomach churned with nerves as the streets passed, he had no idea where they were going. Then the cab was slowing to a stop, before stopping all together. He nodded his head, moving to climb from the cab. He didn't go far though, he went to the window and paid. He wondered just how much it'd be to get him home from there, but that was a worry for later. If he saw that the fare was getting too high, he would just reroute the cab to Lance and Quin's new home. While he knew that Lancelot didn't like him too much, he knew that the man would help him out if only because he loved Quin, and knew it was something Quin would want.
With his stomach in knots, he turned around, and came over to where Naomi was waiting. "I'm supposed to have a gift, aren't I?" he suddenly asked, as hands patted his empty pockets. He would have at least brought a cupcake, why hadn't he thought to bring a cupcake? He should have something to give his son, even if the little tyke might not remember this moment.
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The look Naomi slid his way spoke volumes as to what she thought about that. No, he wasn't supposed to have a gift, and it was clear that she thought it was absurd. The fact that he was here would be gift enough, and she didn't spoil Zeke with a ton of gifts, not only because she couldn't afford to. She didn't want Zeke to grow up spoiled, and she thought quality time with him was a far more valuable gift she could give him in the little bit of time she had left.
"Trust me, there will be plenty of opportunities for gifts later," she assured him. And then, she led him up the walk to the house, opening the door with a smile, studiously ignoring any nerves she might be feeling. "Mum, we're here," she called out.
"Mama!" an excited little voice rang out just before Ezekiel came bounding down the hall and threw his little arms around Naomi. With more effort than she wanted to admit to, she scooped him up and gave him a kiss as she settled him on her hip. "Zeke, baby, this is Tate. He's your daddy," she introduced him, turning them so he was looking at Tate not quite at eye-level.
"Daddy?" Zeke repeated the word, his little head tilted and his eyes filled with all his curious little thoughts about the man before him. One hand lifted to touch his tight, dark curls before reaching between him and Tate to touch Tate's straighter hair, clearly curious about the difference.
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Tate didn't bother looking bashful when she gave him that look, he had shared enough about his life when they were together that she would know where the need to have a gift for his son came from. His family had always had money, there were always gifts. This definitely felt like a situation where he was supposed to have a gift, but he would take Naomi at her word. He knew she was right, there were going to be plenty of opportunities. Maybe he would bring something the next time he came, though he was hoping he could maybe find a gift that was personal.
He nodded at her words, just before he followed her inside. Tate fought the urge to stuff his hands in his pockets, it was a nervous habit that usually had him fiddling with the lighter in his pocket. The urge disappeared as soon as Zeke came tearing down the hallway towards them. Grey eyes were all for the little man, Tate could even see some of his father in his son's face, while he still looked so much like Naomi. He had her full lips, her gorgeous cheekbones, and he could already tell her fearlessness.
A chuckle left him as he heard the little repeat that. "Yeah, that's me, little dude." He leaned into the touch though, that crooked smile growing as he felt little hands in his hair. He watched as those little hands went to his own hair. "I love your hair, you've got Mommy's curls." He didn't know how to explain it, and for some reason the entire thing had him choking back tears. He wanted to reach out to take the boy, though he didn't think the little would come to him if he just reached out for him.
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Naomi chuckled at the interplay as well, not surprised that the hair was the first thing Zeke was drawn to. And at Tate's mention of her own curls, Zeke's hand went to touch her hair. It was finally starting to grow back and was quite short though you could tell it had tighter curls even than Zeke had inherited. Zeke beamed at her and then wiggled in her arms. "Down, please!" his little voice rang out.
"Of course, love. Do you want to show your daddy where you play?" she asked him as she set him down. Zeke nodded and reached out for Tate's hand so he could tug him back down the hallway and into the living room, half of which was dedicated to Zeke's play area. There were cars and figurines and stuffed animals as well as a whole shelf of children's books. Naomi chuckled as she followed and then settled on the couch, watching as Zeke pulled nearly every toy out one at a time to tell Tate about it.
Her mum came in then with a tea tray, setting it on the coffee table. The look she sent Tate was almost disapproving, but there was a sense of resignation in her expression as well. "Tate," she greeted him in a level tone. "It's good to see you again." Sober, it looked like, she thought with some relief.
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Tate was relieved when he seemed to have chosen the right words. He laughed as he Zeke reached out for his hand, something so simple, yet trusting. He just took the little man's hand, following after him into the living room. He paid attention to absolutely everything that Zeke was showing him with rapt attention. While he wanted to spend more time with Naomi, he only had eyes for Zeke.
It wasn't until he heard his name that he looked up from where he had been having a dinosaur "eat" Zeke's cheek, complete with playful growls coming from Tate to mouth the dinosaur. He nodded his head at her, knowing he likely wasn't one of her favorite people. "It's good to see you too." While he may not have known about the child, he knew it still spoke volumes that she hadn't trusted to tell him years ago. He knew he had been a wreck, so he couldn't defend himself against the judgement. He was just glad that no one seemed to be holding it against him, he thought he had a fighting chance.
"Should I get going?" he asked as he glanced between the two women. "I don't want to overstay my welcome."
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Naomi shot her mother a warning look, and the older woman raised her hands in protest, shaking her head. She was clearly not planning to get more involved in the situation just yet. There would be plenty of time for her to get involved later, but for tonight, it was about Zeke getting to meet his father, and it was best if that was as drama-free as possible.
Zeke's giggles from the dinosaur 'attacking' his face cut off when his daddy said something about going. "Go? No, don't go!" Zeke insisted before looking to his mum. "Mama?"
"No, baby, your daddy doesn't have to leave yet," Naomi assured her little boy, who wasted no time in turning his attention back to Tate. Her mum excused herself then, not wanting to make things uncomfortable. Naomi watched with a small smile as her baby played with his father, but before long it was time to get Zeke ready for bed. "Would you like to read him his bedtime story?" she offered once Zeke's teeth were brushed and he was in his jammies.
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While he knew that he likely deserved a long lecture from the woman, he was relieved when she walked away. His heart was hammering in his chest, a reaction that surprised him, though he tried to shake it off. He nodded his head, his attention turning back to the little man next to him. He was glad that he wouldn't have to leave just yet, there was still time.
Though time seemed to move faster. Before he knew it, it was time for the little one to go to bed. He had been ready to watch her kiss him goodnight, maybe get to hug the little guy, before he'd be leaving himself. Her question surprised him, she really was letting him be in every part of his life. At least, today she was. He had a feeling this might be a case by case basis until she knew how she felt about him. "I'd love to... Do I get to pick the story, or does he get to pick it?" He wanted to share a story from his own childhood, maybe Babbity Rabbity and her Cackling Stump.
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Before Tate even really finished asking the question, Zeke was bounding up to him with his favorite book of the week, causing Naomi to chuckle. "He goes through phases," she explained, "and we always try to let him choose his bedtime story. That usually means reading the same story at least five times in a week. I have Cat in the Hat almost entirely memorized by now, but this week's obsession has been the Mickey and Pluto story."
There was a plush chair in Zeke's room next to the twin-sized bed, and she motioned over toward it for Tate to sit and read to him. "Come on, daddy," Zeke's little voice chimed in as he held the book out to the new person in his life.
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Tate's head bobbed along, he would get the hang of this. He clearly would need to get his hands on a copy of his favorite childhood tales, slip them into the rotation if he could. He'd add them to his book corner, that was definitely something he could do. He was even betting that Quin likely had some of the books in her library, she might even be willing to part with them, once he told her who they were for.
"I'm coming, I'm coming," he called out as he made his way over to the plush chair so that he could sit close to the bedside. He even took the book, smirking as he saw Mickey and Pluto on the cover on the book. He vaguely knew who they were, only because he had a few muggle friends over the years that had had children.
"Are you going to sit with us too?" he asked Naomi, giving her that crooked smile. "Do you do voices? I can do voices." He wanted to share his magic with his son, he wanted to actually change his voice. He knew that would come however, just not tonight.
π₯
It was hard to hang back and let Tate have this moment with her son--their son--but it was important. Zeke needed to get to know Tate, to become familiar and comfortable with him as a family member not just as a friend of the family. It killed her to sacrifice any of the limited time she had left with Zeke, but Naomi knew that this was for the best.
Still, when he asked her that, she couldn't resist crossing over to them as Zeke climbed up onto Tate's lap. Try as she might to get Zeke to lay down in his bed for the bedtime story, he'd clung to cuddling on her lap for it, and she didn't have the heart to put her foot down. If Zeke remembered nothing else about her, she wanted him to remember that he was loved deeply. She perched on the arm of the chair opposite the side Zeke was sitting on, and smiled down at them both.
"I do voices sometimes," she admitted. "I'm sure he'll enjoy hearing the different sorts of voices you can make." It was the story about how Pluto had come to be Mickey's pet, how Mickey had watched a pet shop for a friend and Pluto kept making a mess of things in his excitement. And after the shop owner returned, Mickey decided to take Pluto home instead of the pay.
π₯
As Zeke climbed into his lap, followed by Naomi taking up the arm across from him, Tate felt his heart tug. There was an ache there, he had missed three years of this. Three years that he could have had with her and their son, three years where he could have done so much. He tipped his head down to look at his lap, where the book now was in Zekeβs hands. He was trying to keep Naomi from seeing that longing and regret, he had wanted a family of his own, and here there had been on just out of his reach.
βIβm not sure just how good Iβll be,β he said with a soft chuckle, it was a forced noise, and likely gave away his own inner turmoil. He instead tried to push it all aside, as his arm slipped around Zeke. He was determined to not let his own selfish thoughts ruin the little bit of time he did get.
βAlright little man,β he said as he turned to the first page to start the book. He did his best to animate the story, doing his best Mickey voice that failed and sounded rather like someone was grabbing him by the testicles. He did gloat that his Goofy voice was however spot on, which he demonstrated for both of them. His selfish thoughts had thankfully slipped away for now, letting him enjoy this moment with his son, and Naomi.
π₯
Even if Tate thought he wasn't that great at it, Zeke was clearly having a great time, giggling at points and clapping his hands at others, and when the story ended, he pouted and turned his big brown eyes up to Tate. "Again?" he requested hopefully.
Naomi chuckled and shook her head. "No. Go put your book away, Zeke, and then tell Nana good night," she urged him, rubbing a hand over his cheek encouragingly. The little boy slid off Tate's lap and hurried out of the room to do as he was told. "You're a natural, Tate," she said softly after Zeke left the room, and she hesitated a moment before sliding off the arm of the chair, ignoring the part of her that had wanted to slip onto his lap.
"I know it's a lot to take in," she added as she crossed to Zeke's bed, turning down the covers so he could be tucked in when he came back in.
π₯
That smile had gotten to him, he almost gave in and said yes. It was only because Naomi had stepped in that he wasn't reading it again, he really needed to not be a sucker. He chuckled as he looked up at her, catching his breath as she slipped from her seat. He ridiculously enough had hoped she would fall into his lap, he had even debated for about two milliseconds to slip his arms around her waist and pull her into his lap. That wasn't allowed, especially not if Zeke would be back in the room any second.
"I'm far from a natural, you're the only reason we're not listening to how Mickey found Pluto again." He pushed himself to get up from the chair, he needed to get up from the chair, and stop looking at Naomi's ass as she went about turning down the bed. "It's a lot but..." He gave a shrug. "I missed out on more. I'll figure out how to handle the lot..." There was definitely a session with Alec in his future, the very near future. He was going to need to call to schedule one, he wondered if Naomi might want to meet with him too... Though he had no idea how he would go about getting her there, he was fairly certain that muggles weren't allowed outside the Leaky Cauldron, and even in there it was kind of iffy.
"Thank you.. For letting me come here.. See him, do all of this."
π₯
That wasn't what she'd meant, but she wasn't going to argue with him about it. Instead, she just shot him an amused smile. "You'll learn to put your foot down in time," she promised him. The first few times Zeke had asked her to reread a story, she'd given in, mostly because she was so excited to hear him using his words. And sometimes she did give him a second story, especially lately, but she put her foot down at rereading the same one in the same night.
"You will," she agreed confidently. If he was committed to staying sober, if he could do that, then he could do anything. And she'd always known he was a great guy, he'd just been in a bit of a downward spiral for a while there. She was glad to see he'd pulled himself out of it.
"Of course. Tate, I-" Whatever she'd been about to say, and the way her hand hovered between them as if she wanted to reach out with more than just her words, was interrupted as Zeke came bounding back in the room. She tucked him in and gave him a kiss good night then stepped out of the way so Tate tell him good night as well before they both left the room. She was quiet as she went back downstairs, holding the railing as she started feeling lightheaded on the way.
π₯
There was something more she had wanted to say, he was itching to know just what it was, but Zeke had come back into the room, and that ended that. He had helped tuck him in, though it really was just Tate leaning in and kissing his forehead, before they both left the room. He was already wondering just when he'd be able to come back and see Zeke, he wondered if tomorrow was too soon. He knew it was selfish, especially since Naomi had such limited time. He kept coming back to that, that she had limited time.
As they headed down the stairs, he noticed something wrong with her as they started down the stairs. "Are you alright?" he asked, his arm moving to slip around her waist. The number one worry with the stairs was that she would fall down them, he didn't want her to fall, and hurt herself somehow.
Inappropriately, he wanted to ask her if he could stick around to talk. He first needed to be sure she was alright, before he went about forcing his company on her. He knew there had been a reason she had met him first, though he had wanted to see Zeke more than he had wanted the chance to ask all of the questions. Now that he had met his son, he had a plethora of questions for the woman. She seemed exhausted though, he didn't think she would be up for them just now.
π₯
It was a testament to her momentary weakness that she actually leaned into him when he slipped an arm around her waist. "Just par for the course, love." It would get worse, she knew, but she wasn't bedridden yet. She just put so much energy into being there for Zeke and not letting him see her deterioration that once he was in bed it was all but impossible for her to keep her strength up.
"Are you ready for your meds, Naomi?" her mother's voice called from the kitchen, causing her to wince.
"Yes, mum," she called back. Glancing wryly back to Tate, she said, "Now, you know this isn't easy for me to say, but can you give me a hand to the couch?" As much as she hated any sign of weakness, she'd worked hard to come to terms with her failing health and knew when to set aside her pride and ask for help.
π₯
Tate didn't like hearing that, he frowned as he held her there on the stairs a moment. He didn't like seeing her so weak, let along her asking for help. He had the urge to just lift her up and into his arms, she would be easy enough to carry to the couch. He had an inkling however that it might make her upset, rather than make her feel relieved. She didn't like asking for help, he knew, so he needed to not push his luck.
"I'll help you to the couch." He agreed, his arm that was around her waist tightened so that he was holding her against his body. He would help her walk to the couch, letting her lean her weight against him. "How bad is it?" He asked in a soft voice, as he helped her down the rest of the stairs. "I mean, I realize you only have a few months... You just... I don't know what I'm asking." He admitted finally, realizing that he was just babbling and not really asking anything.
π₯
Naomi let him take most of her weight as he got her the rest of the way down the stairs and to the couch. Despite her sudden lack of energy, she chuckled softly at his question and the following commentary on it, shaking her head a bit. "I know what you're asking, even if you don't. Trust me, I get questions all the time." Though not as much now that she couldn't work anymore. It had killed her a bit to leave her professional life behind, but there was just no way she could keep going. But she pushed that thought away as she settled on the couch, patting the spot next to her, inviting him to sit and stay for a bit.
"I'm deteriorating, basically. It's mostly extreme fatigue, moderate pain, and a seriously depleted appetite for now, but if I'm careful about getting rest and taking my meds, I can still usually do stuff with Zeke," she explained. It helped that Zeke spent part of the day at daycare and that she had her mum's help most of the time, but she knew she would keep going as long as she could for her little boy. "And as the end gets closer, I'll be less... mobile. I just won't have the energy for even some of the most basic things. I'm lucky I've been able to keep up this long, honestly."
π₯
Tate hesitated for a half a second before he slipped into the spot next to her. He nodded his head as he listened, he seemed to be doing that a lot today. It was all he could do, what could he say? Gee, that sucks, didn't seem to quite cover it somehow. He was trying to keep his thoughts from slipping into worrying about all the time he had lost again, he needed to keep himself here in the present. It wouldn't help either of them if he kept worrying about what might have been.
"Will you turn me down when I ask to spend time with you?" He didn't mean with Zeke, he meant time with just her. He wanted to do things together, even if it was just curling up on her couch to watch a movie. He couldn't bring her back to his flat, he couldn't explain magic, he had so many rules he had to follow. He supposed he could explain however if Zeke showed signs of magic, though he knew the chances of the little being able to do that so early were slim. He had no idea that the little guy had already showed a few signs.
π₯
Naomi turned her head, resting it against the back of the couch so she could look at him without expending energy into holding her head up. She wasn't stupid; she could tell what he was asking, and she didn't even have to think about the answer. "Of course not," she said with a faint smile. Why would she turn him down? He was the father of her child, and she wanted to get to know who he was now, before she died and had no control over what happened with Zeke.
"I loved you, you know," she admitted softly. A part of her still did, but she'd always chalked it up to knowing he was Zeke's father. It had just gotten too bad for her to stick with him, and there would probably always be that part of her that wondered how different things might have been if she'd stayed with him when she found out she was pregnant.
π₯
Tate felt himself relax with her of course not. That made him feel significantly better about everything, she wanted him around. Then she said that thing about having loved him, and his heart ached. It wasn't a familiar feeling, and he didn't enjoy it. He nodded his head a bit. "I loved you too. I know that it didn't seem like it, but this disease..." He sucked in a breath, wondering if they had come to that point where they needed to talk about him. There was so much more to both their sides of this story, he had been wondering which would spill first. It was looking a bit like it was him.
"When my father died, it got worse. I wanted to reach out, but things just had gotten too far out of hand." Tate held her gaze, he wanted to be honest with her. "I know I've only been sober for just under a year, I've been trying to reach out to you. I wanted to make amends, I had no idea..." His eyes slid past her just then, glancing towards the stairs. He had had no idea about their son. "I missed you, Naomi," he admitted as his eyes slid back to meet hers again. "I need to shut up, don't I?" He wondered if he needed to cut himself off before he started babbling about everything that had happened in the past few years.
π₯
Not enough to be sober, she thought but held her tongue on saying. His sobriety couldn't have been centered around her, though, and they both knew that. "I know. It sucks that I'm dying," she finished wryly. And it did. It sucked that they wouldn't have a chance to reconcile, that they wouldn't be able to raise Zeke together, whether they were together or not.
"So why didn't you?" she asked, referring to why he hadn't reached out at all since going sober. Perhaps it was unfair of her to ask, but she wanted to know. Still, her hand reached between them and held his, and she shook her head against the back of the couch. "No, you don't need to shut up. I missed you too." She'd missed having him around, missed being held by him, missed his cooking and ridiculous jokes.
Just as she was about to lift a hand to cup his cheek and pull him close, her mum came into the living room with a small cup with a variety of pills in it and a glass of water. "Thanks mum," she said as she took both and then swallowed her pills down, wincing at the discomfort of it. She'd always hated taking pills.
π₯
Tate sucked in a breath, why hadn't he? He hadn't thought about it that much, not enough to really analyze why every single time he picked up the phone to call a mutual friend, he set it right back down. He gave a useless shrug of his shoulders then. "After everything that happened, I wasn't sure if you'd even want to hear from me. It's a cop out." He sucked in a breath, steady himself as he sat up a bit straighter. "I was terrified of hearing you calling me on my shit, telling me to fuck off." Which were two options he knew likely to have happened. "To be honest, I didn't think you'd even hear me out." He had rambled, just a bit. He hadn't been able to help himself.
Hearing that she had missed him too felt fantastic, in those next few seconds he thought that he felt something. He had started to lean towards her, just as her mother came into the room with the pills. He pushed himself to sit up straighter again, he shouldn't be leaning into her like that, there was no reason for it. Yet he ridiculously felt like a teenager that had gotten caught making out on the couch, which was ridiculous.
π₯
It might have been a cop out, but it wasn't one without a grain of truth. She hadn't wanted to hear from him at first, and she'd held onto a lot of anger toward him for a long time and probably would have told him to fuck off, but once she'd gotten sick... Realizing how preciously short time is, she'd regretted shutting him out like that. But you couldn't change the past, so she rather thought it was better to set all of that aside and move forward. "Well, you're here now," she pointed out with a small smile.
All the signals had been there, enough that she was disappointed by the interruption. Not that she had the energy for a good snog, but she couldn't help but wonder. Her mum left them with a knowing look after she hadn't the cups back, and Naomi rolled her eyes in amusement before looking back at Tate. "I am sorry you missed all this time with him," she told him then even though she still stood by her decision. He'd been in no state to be a father back then.
π₯
Tate didn't want them to both keep apologizing like this, it was something that he knew could fall into an endless loop. Not something that he wanted to waste any time on, the didn't have enough time in the world for that. He hoped they had a few months, which wasn't long enough for them to fall into that useless cycle of constantly apologizing for lost time.
"We're here now." He tweaked her words a bit, just enough that it fit the situation. His attention was only on her, as he shifted just slightly closer on the couch. It was ridiculous, he didn't need to be doing these sorts of things. He needed to be focusing on being there for their son, showing her that he was going to be staying sober, maybe even introducing her to Quin. She might like that, he thought. "Would you want to meet my stepmother soon? She and my father had two children." Which was just part of why they kept in touch. "He can meet his side of the family. I won't go through explaining the confusing points of how he's related, but I would like for him to know them."
π₯
"Yes, we are," she breathed, smiling at him and the way he'd shifted a bit closer. She did reach out then, for his hand instead of his face, slipping her smaller, thin hand into his. She'd convinced herself that she was only reaching out to him for Zeke's benefit, but having him here now, she was starting to realize that a part of her had wanted him around for her benefit too.
She hesitated at the request, though not for the reasons he might assume. It was just that the energy it took to be around groups of people or even just meeting new people was getting to be more than she could handle lately. Doing this today had taken a lot out of her, and she wasn't sure how much more she had to give. "I--umm... It's not that I don't want to, and I definitely want Zeke to, it's just... I don't know if I'll have the energy," she finally admitted, looking regretful.
π₯
Tate's hand easily took hers, lacing their fingers without a second thought. It felt off, though not bad. He knew it felt off because she was so small, she had lost so much weight. He assumed it was all in part to the cancer. He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze when she seemed hesitant about meeting Quin. "We can figure it out, when you've got the energy. She works sometimes, but I know she would work her schedule around us." This was family, it would be important to his mother in law. "Would it be easier if she came here? Am I pushing too hard?" Tate could realize when he was maybe going a little too far, now was one of those moments. He didn't have to schedule and do everything right this second.
He bit his lower lip, laughing nervously, while his head tipped down to look at his lap. "Why don't I start over? Want to watch a movie?" he asked as he lifted his head, catching her gaze.
π₯
It wasn't that he was pushing too hard, but that it was too much to focus on all at once for her. She shook her head, smiling reassuringly at him. "No, love, but we'll figure out the details another time. Soon, I promise," she assured him. Just not tonight. At his suggestion of a movie, she nodded. "Yeah, I'd like that, though don't hold it against me if I fall asleep on you." Literally, possibly, but she would try to stay awake.
π₯
Naomi was right, Tate knew that. He knew that he needed to give things some time, they'd figure out all of the piece at some point. He didn't need to sort through it all tonight. When she said that she might fall asleep though, he shook his head. "I would never hold it against you... I just want to do one thing." He turned so that he was facing her, his free hand came up to cup her cheek, and it was then that he leaned in and stole a kiss. It was quick, and as he pulled away he met her gaze. "What are you feeling? Some horror movies for the Halloween spirit, or were you hoping for something more your speed?"
π₯
She looked at him curiously when he said there was one thing he wanted to do, but when his hand rested against her cheek, realization dawned in her eyes. She barely had time to close her eyes before the kiss was over, though she had leaned toward him, returning the too-brief kiss. "I don't have a preference. You choose." She had an impressive collection of movies spanning a wide variety of genres. "Just nothing Nicholas Sparks," she warned, narrowing her eyes, though she was teasing. She didn't really expect him to choose a movie like that.
π₯
Tate chuckled when she told him to choose, his head bobbing as he got up from the couch. βWhat about murderers? I was thinking some Nightmare on Elm Street.β He was teasing, he wouldnβt force her to watch anything too terrible, he did enjoy his horror movies though. He got up from the couch then to pick a movie for the night. If anyone had told him this was how his Monday was going to go, he wouldnβt have believed them. He started out the night as a single twenty-something, he was now leaving as a young twenty-something father.