"I wouldn't, but you know I would for you," Dora told her. She would. She'd take pain for Nora. She didn't take pain well either, not that kind of pain. But she loved her. She worked so hard on her issues, she knew Nora had been too, they were both trying to be such better people.
"I know," she whispered back. No, it wasn't that simple. Their brains could know things but the emotion? No, the emotion would run away with it every time. Dora constantly dealt with anxiety, most days. She felt safest and calmest when Ewan was home and she was home and the lights were all on.
Dora swiped tears from her own cheeks but she knew it wouldn't keep clear long. She hurt on Nora's behalf. "You know it's been my fear from the beginning, love," she said, slowly combing her fingers through Nora's hair. "I did so much stupid shit. But I don't think it's that that determines all this, in our cases." Dora had drunk, so much, those first weeks. She was a drunk, she'd known that a long time. But now she couldn't afford to be, even though it was still hard.
"It's not you, Nora," she said firmly, her pale eyes on Nora's. "It isn't. It happens to healthy people, it happens to sick people. It happens to young women and it happens to old. It isn't your fault. It sucks, it hurts, I hate it so much for you. But it's not you. I swear, gods above and below and on my baby brother's grave, it isn't you."