Theodore Nott (nottanymore) wrote in vrrpg, @ 2017-03-23 23:59:00 |
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Entry tags: | char: blaise zabini, char: theodore nott, location: residence, time: 2009 03 |
Who: Blaise & Theo
When: 21st Tuesday, after this
Where: Blaise's place, Theo's room
What: Kitty cuddling
Warnings: Gloominess, grumpy feelings, reference/aftermath of recent assault, depression, eating issues, sleeping issues, adorable cuddling
Theo relived parts of a traumatising and brutal childhood on a nightly basis so he didn't think that being attacked again would have had the impact on him that it was. He was living in partial denial, pretending either that nothing had happened or that what had happened hadn't been so bad, but he was really circling a drain of despair.
He didn't want to end up back in the Janus Thickey ward, especially not now that his former orderly would indirectly be the one to put him there. He was still a prisoner in a way though, and it was another thing that he was trying to ignore but angry at himself for at the same time.
He hadn't been outdoors since, cloistered in his room almost the entire time. He couldn't face going back to work so he'd quit his job, although they'd told him he could have some time if he needed to and that would be a place for him when he felt he could come back.
He'd stopped eating even the meagre amount he'd forced down before and weight had been melting off him leaving him almost as bony as he'd been in St Mungo's. He hadn't been sleeping for longer than snatches of fifteen or twenty minutes at a time, jolting awake at the brush of the sheets when he moved or sounds that weren't there or the start of memories that were nightmares.
He didn't want to leave, or eat, or move; he just wanted to sleep but that offered him no peace either. He didn't want to see anyone or speak to anyone, but he couldn't refuse any of his housemates entry.
He was worried about Blaise wanting to be a cat and his uncharacteristic weariness, but he wouldn't have refused his friends request even if he hadn't been worried. He lifted the many wards and alarms in his room, leaving Blaise free to enter but also leaving him vulnerable. He didn't want that to be as problematic as it was, so he was ignoring the tension that was locking up his muscles and the way his jumpy heartbeat kicked a drum solo in his chest.