Lenora Urquhart (notlenora) wrote in vrrpg, @ 2017-02-10 22:08:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | !complete, char: nora urquhart, char: roger davies, location: residence, time: 2009 02 |
Who: Roger and Nora
What: Things come to a head
Where: Roger's flat
When: February 10th, afternoon
Rating: Medium for language
Status: Complete
Nora was tired of this. And even though she was more than aware it was going to end in disaster, she wasn't going to let him avoid her anymore. That's all Roger had been doing lately - avoiding, and it was completely and utter bullshit. So, letting herself into his flat with her key, she made her way into the kitchen and within seconds, Meg and Jack were charging at her. Getting down onto the floor, she couldn't help but cuddle and love on both of them for as long as they'd allow. Meg kept giving her this look though, and she had a feeling she knew exactly what it meant.
"He's been a dick to you guys then too, huh?" she asked, raising a brow in Meg's direction. Sighing, she eventually got up, moving around the apartment and into the living room, instantly greeted with the sight of drugs. Her heart sped up in her chest, and a wave of emotion washed over her. The last time she had encountered this sight her best friend had almost died... How could he be so stupid?! Sure, she couldn't say much, she took just as many drugs, but... she was still smarter about it. She hadn't almost died.
She wanted to throw it down the drain so badly, and it took every ounce of her self control to leave it, because that would only make what was going to be a shitty encounter even shittier.
After making herself a cup of coffee, she raided his cupboard and filled over half of it with strong whiskey, and left the bottle out on the table. Moving back to the living room she sat down, crossing her legs on the couch as Jack instantly settled on her legs, Meg snuggled next to her side. Taking a breath she began nursing her mostly alcoholic coffee, waiting for when he got home. Waiting for the anger.
***
At the very least Roger hadn't been hiding away in his flat like before. He'd lost too much weight and needed to gain it back before his clothes really didn't fit. So the daily habit of running, swimming and occasional bout at a gym made an appearance once again in Roger's life. Getting out of the house helped alleviate the lack of control and loneliness that had settled over him like a the ever present English grey winter sky. That and going out to various muggle clubs, hopped up on something to elevate his mood and melt into the sea of dancing people.
Today had been swimming day. Roger stayed longer than usual by adding two additional laps and a quiet moment in the sauna trying not to think about yesterday's therapy session. How could he have lost control like that? There was no doubt Alec would call Samantha and these would stop. The notion made him feel absolutely miserable for reasons he wasn't entirely sure as to why. That was something to dwell on tomorrow during his run; the rest of the afternoon would be used for a long hot shower and bed.
Jack and Meg didn't greet him at the door and Roger paused, finding this unusual, then called out for his two pets. They didn't come. Curiously, he wandered into the living room and froze.
***
Nora heard Roger long before she saw him, and she knew it would be only a matter of moments before he came across her. Without the cats running to the door, it would alert him to something amiss rather quickly. Taking a deep breath, she smiled at Jack in her lap who was purring loudly as Roger came into his living room.
Looking up at him she smiled, nodding in his direction. "Roger.." turning back to the cats she reached next to her, scratching Meg under the chin who stared at Roger with defiance during this act. Nora had to hold back a chuckle. "They seem extra needy today. Have you been pushing them away too?" She knew it was going to get a rise, but she couldn't stop the words from slipping out.
***
The scene laid out before him froze: Nora, his best friend (perhaps?), whom he'd shut out of his life sat on his couch lavished with feline affection. At first Roger pondered just how she'd been able to enter when he remembered that she still had a key.
"No. I feed them, they have their toys. They are fine." Roger glared, mostly at Meg who seemed to purr louder at the annoyance in his voice. Dropping his bag on the floor with a heavy sigh he looked to Nora. "Why are you here?"
***
"Just because you feed them doesn't mean you're giving them what they need. They're like people, Roger. They need physical affection, and when you don't give it to them, they get upset." Sighing, she leaned back against his couch, pressing the palms of her hands to her eyes, rubbing before looking at him. Jack looked up at her concerned, before looking at Roger, unsure where to go but opting to stay in her lap.
"Because I missed you, Roger," she said softly, looking into his eyes. "Because even though you block me and are a constant dick to me even though I have no idea what I did to deserve it, you're still my best friend. And I'm sick of you thinking you need to be this masochist. It's stupid."
***
An agitated hand moved restlessly through the dark hair hanging in loose, damp waves. He didn't need this right now. First the therapy sessions and now Nora bitching about the cats.
"You take them if you're so worried." The reply was cold and indifferent. Jack's yellow moon eyes seemed to widen. Kneezles were incredibly intelligent, though many doubted they could fully understand humans. Many animal lovers disagreed.
With a sigh Roger crossed the room in several strides heading toward the kitchen. He was going to need... Something... Tea perhaps, to get through this.
"You didn't do anything." He replied with frustration. She truly hadn't beyond getting too close. "Beyond coming into my flat without my permission."
***
"Shut up, you know I'm not going to take them from you. But I am going to make sure they're getting the pets they deserve, right, Meg?" she looked at the girl cat who she would have sworn, nodded, before her big eyes turned to Roger to glare. "She'll try to smother you in your sleep, you know she will." Nora shrugged though. As much as she loved Meg and Jack, they weren't hers, and she knew that.
Giving the boy cat one more good butt rub, Nora got up, following Roger into the kitchen but keeping somewhat of a distance. "Pretty sure permission is implied when you give someone a key, Roger," she told him with an eye roll. If he asked for it back, she still couldn't decide if she would give it to him. Though knowing how petty and spiteful he was, Nora knew it wouldn't matter. He'd just change the locks.
"Come on, Roger," she finally said, running a hand through her hair, pressing her face into her hands again for a moment. She looked just as tired as him, and maybe she was. "Don't bullshit a bullshitter. I don't appreciate it." Looking back to the living room, she was burning to bring the drugs up, but refrained. "You say I didn't do anything, but you block me on your phone. You bail on me after the hospital, you don't talk to me for weeks. What am I supposed to think? Yeah, I've watched you drop people like a bad habit before, that's nothing new, but… this is me, okay? We're best friends. And this isn't normal for us. Just help me out here a little, for fucks sake."
***
Great. Now his pets were turning against him. They had always had a slight bias in Nora's favor but this was ridiculous. At the very least the notion that he'd die drowned in fluff was a bit of a comfort.
His blue eyes rolled following her own annoyed eye rolling, though didn't argue her point. Roger had given her the key to his place despite the fact she seemed to never carry it around and would bang on his door to either annoy him or amuse herself; more than likely the latter. But those times he'd always been home or texted his whereabouts. In those days they were connected closer than Roger had ever realized.
Not that it mattered now.
"Well I don't appreciate you coming here when I told you I don't want to talk to you." The corners of his lips tugged downward with annoyance to display that subtle yet oh-so-classic look he used on annoying reporters, slow walkers and wailing babies in restaurants. Why didn't Nora listen? Hadn't he made it perfectly clear? "I just want to be left alone, Nora, Merlin you're worse than mum." He plopped the kettle down. "Why do you care? Did Alec send you?"
***
Nora stopped for a moment, considering his words, her own bubbling beneath the surface. Fuck it, this couldn't get any worse, right? "Well, to be completely honest, I don't give a fuck what you do and don't appreciate. Why should I care about what you want when you so clearly don't give a single fuck what I want?" She raised an eyebrow, challenging him. Of course, she knew the response wasn't going to be positive, but she didn't care. She literally was at a fucking brick wall, and couldn't go up or around it, the best she could try to do was beat against it until her knuckles were raw and bleeding. At least then, she tried.
"Fucking Merlin's tits, Roger, why would you even ask me that," she shot, clearly offended. "Just because I'm dating someone who, mind you, after the fact became your therapist, doesn't mean my motives have shit to do with him. This is me, asshole. Me. Nora Travers. Your best friend since school. The person you built pillow forts with, told every fucking secret to, fucked for years, and let closer than anyone else. The one who took you to the hospital when you almost died, the one who stayed with you, the one who still gives a shit about you even after everything. Why do I have to leave you alone? I've never had to before, and until you can give me a good, legitimate answer that isn't total fucking bullshit, I don't feel inclined to listen to your requests. And the fact… you would have.. The fucking gall to ask me why I care? Like honestly, listen to yourself. You might as well just fucking smack me in the face, because you asking me that feels exactly the same."
***
Roger shouldn't have been surprised by her response; she's never a thing like doors or tempers stop her from from getting what she wanted. It was a trait he'd always admired about Nora and wish to have in himself. Her anger broke over him in unrelenting waves smashing against the brick wall that Roger had built up to protect himself.
Every word threatened to drag him down deeper into the abyss of depression. Of course Roger wanted nothing more than to hug Nora tightly and have a proper laugh about the past few weeks but... The candle of thought burned out and he sighed deeply, unable to meet Nora's eyes.
"Because I don't want you to be my friend." Roger stated barely audible.
***
For a moment, Nora stared silently at him, his words ringing through the kitchen, her light brown eyes locked on him for a few moments following their wake. There was a war within her at that moment, and she couldn't tell if complete and utter anger would spill over, or grief. Because that, that fucking punched her in the face. How was that even fair of him to say. How could he even say something like that to her?
"Why?" She asked quietly, her tone indicating that she wouldn't be leaving until she got a sufficient answer.
***
"Why do you have to complicate the matter?" Roger sighed deeply again, feeling as though he'd aged ten years following his previous statement. His right hand gripped the handle of the kettle with white knuckles. "I just don't fit anymore. Friends... They..." Fuck. His throat burned from emotion. "They sometimes drift apart. It's natural."
***
"Roger, there is a difference between people drifting apart and someone telling the other person to fuck right off without any valid explanation. Like you honestly think that's a good reason? I asked for a real reason, and you still haven't given me one. We haven't drifted apart, you realize that, yeah? Newsflash, I haven't gone anywhere." Which was illustrated quite well in the past several weeks. Between her staying with him and then still continuing to talk to him even after he had ditched out on her? It just went to show her friendship was a lot deeper than his, apparently.
"So either give me a real reason, if you can even think of one, or get off your high horse and realize you don't have a legitimate reason to tell me to go away." Running a hand through her hair she couldn't help but step a little closer, looking up at him, her eyes completely sincere. "We've been friends for over 15 years, Roger. Sometimes you just have to accept the fact that people are going to know you, even when you don't want them too, and that's not a bad thing. So please stop acting like this? I'm still fucking furious, but I'm willing to forgive and forget you fucking bailing on me after you got released from the hospital if we can just get past all this nonsense."
***
Merlin the pain in Nora's voice was too much. He wished for her to leave to simply remove the source of discomfort even for a few moments. Trying to remove such a big part of Roger's life hadn't been easy - especially when that part kicked and screamed the whole time - but it was something needed to be done even at the cost of a great pain. She would be so much better off without him... And really, Pandora had made it very clear there would never be a place for him.
"Nora." Another sigh. Now the kettle whistled cheerfully and Roger removed it from the flame. "Look. I just don't fit anymore. Please... Just... Stop." He sounded absolutely exhausted.
***
"No. I won't stop," she said through gritted teeth, trying really, really, really hard not to let herself cry again. Merlin, she was so fucking tired of crying she could barely even function anymore. "Why is it just your decision to decide if you do or don't fit in my life. That should be my bloody decision and not yours." Her fists were clenched now, nearly white as her fingernails bit into the palms of her hands leaving painful crescent indents, threatening to break through skin.
"Is this because of something someone said to you? Because fuck that, this is between us, this is our relationship, not the rest of the bloody world. Stop reading so much into that crap. This is me, Roger!" her words were so raw during her last statement, her eyes desperate.
***
Looking over, Roger felt the overwhelming desire to gather Nora into a tight hug. She looked like a tempest of emotions but stood firm on her feet. He paused having barely reached out - thinking it so strange to not comfort her - and turned back to the kettle.
"Even then you'd have to keep me separate from... Others." Namely Pandora. And Alec. And Katie. And... Merlin the list never ended. "Just accept it. Go forward, but backward." The hot water drained into a mug filled with a satchel of lavender tea.
***
Nora saw the slight waver in his resolve, and she felt hope for the slightest second until he turned away, crushing her all over again. Her breath caught in her chest, and she almost visibly deflated, crossing her arms in front of her chest and trying her best to hold it all together.
"That's not true, Roger. You're making assumptions without even actually trying. And here I didn't think you were one to just give up. Have you gone soft on me the past couple of weeks?" she asked, hoping the challenge might perk him hope. Fuck, hoping anything would bring out the Roger she had been friends with forever.
"I'm not going to listen to you feed me bullshit lines. I'm not going to just let you drop everyone like a bad habit because you're tired of putting in effort. If you want me to go away forever, you're going to have to fucking kill me, Roger Davies." And Nora Travers fucking meant that too.
***
"I'm not making assumptions!" Roger snapped, tired of this conversation. Couldn't she just go away? All he'd wanted to do was come home and go to sleep but as usual the force of nature that is Nora decided to blow in for an afternoon storm. "Merlin just fuck. off. Okay?!" Removing the mug, Roger stormed out of the kitchen, not even wanting to entertain the notion of Nora dying. She'd nearly lost her life before and it would be a cold day in hell before such a thing would happen again.
Roger shoved Jack off the couch (whose whiskers drooped and ran from the room) and flung himself down. " Just go be with Alec. Can't imagine he'd allow you to even come here."
***
"Yes you are! You're assuming stupid bullshit based off of one friend's comment to you when she was pissed off on my behalf! I would probably say terrible shit to someone if they ever hurt you! That's just fucking common sense, Roger. Don't go internalizing it so much," she said, clearly frustrated and upset now. Was he really going to end a fucking friendship because someone was mean to him? Like really? This was getting a bit ridiculous, and she was not having it.
"No! I won't just fuck off! You can't just solve all the problems in your life by telling them to fuck off!" She yelled at him, a bit of guilt creeping into her as Jack ran and cowered from her raised voice.
"And seriously, fuck you so hard for saying that because you really don't even know in the slightest. Alec wants us to fix this. He wants me to be there for you. He is not some fucking bloody monster. What is your god damn problem with him?" Aside from the fact he had the shit luck of being his therapist.
***
Pandora's words had hurt more than Roger let on. He'd been careful not to give away any emotion during their interaction at the party not wanting to give her the satisfaction of control over him. Roger didn't reply to Nora's assessment of the situation from the party, instead shrugging his shoulders and staring moodily at the table. Her rage fell on deaf ears when with sudden horror Roger realized he'd left out some sort of drug.
Fuck.
Nora hadn't said anything about it, perhaps there had been a very slim chance she hadn't seen? The fear mingled with tentative relief; there would have been no way she wouldn't have said something.
"...I just..." Roger had to get her out before she spotted the drugs. "Nora look, I'm really tired. Can we grab lunch or something when I'm a little more prepared? You just sprung this on me."
***
Pinching the bridge of her nose in exasperation, Nora closed her eyes, trying to take in a deep breath and calm herself down. But it really wasn't all that easy. And yes, she had most certainly noticed the drugs when she walked in, but she was really fucking trying to not completely alienate him, though she was starting to care less and less about that given his behavior during this particular interaction.
But that didn't stop her from noticing the sudden look of panic on his face as he realized he'd left it in full view.
"What else was I supposed to do, Roger? You blocked me. You don't want to talk to me. You've told me to fuck off, and you don't want to be my friend anymore. How else am I supposed to see you if I don't just fucking let myself in without your knowledge?" she looked at him, her voice ernest. "If I had told you, you would have told me no. Or you would have avoided me."
Shaking her head she shrugged in a defeated manner. "Fine… But I have to do one thing before I go…" sighing she brought out her wand, and as quick as a flash, accio'd the drugs he had left in plain view.
"I'm taking this…Because I can't fucking watch you nearly die on me again. It almost killed me too the first time, I don't plan on there being a second." And with that she began to walk out, knowing he would hate her even more than he already did now. She knew there was probably more somewhere, but at least cutting his supply down was better than nothing. He might have lunged for it, but she was out the door before anything else could be done.