RP: Alec & Nora Who: Alec & Nora When: January 25th, 2009 (evening) Where: Nora's flat What: When Nora doesn't respond to any of his texts throughout the day, he starts to get worried. Only to find that things were about as bad as he'd feared them to be. Warnings: NSFW due to drug use and sexual content; please note that this is an extremely bipolar thread-- it goes from maximum angst to ridiculously sappy (a certain something may have been said) to very NSFW… and then back to sappy. So keep that in mind if you decide to read it!
He'd texted her around lunchtime, some cute little quip about how he missed her and how much rather he'd have been eating her than the sandwich he'd packed for himself (which really, truly, paled in comparison). Later that afternoon, he tried again, sending her a quick text on his way to the Clinic to ask about whether she'd survived the work day just yet.
When he hadn't heard back from her by the time evening rolled around, Alec decided to ignore his growling stomach and instead apparated to just outside the shop's door after sending her another text to ask her if she was all right, only to receive no response. When he didn't find her there, either, he sent a quick message to Dora to ask her if Nora was with her-- no-- before promptly making his way down the street through the rain to her flat, instead, his hands shoved deep in his pockets. He knew she liked her privacy, of course, and that was something he did his utmost to respect. He was used to Katie, after all, so Nora's neuroses were nothing he exactly had to adjust to in any way.
He certainly didn't want to just barge in on her, so he took in a deep breath and knocked first.
Nothing.
Knocked again.
"Nora, love?" Quiet. "If you don't want me around right now, I'll gladly leave; I just haven't heard from you today and wanted to make sure that you were okay."
***
Nora had started out at the shop, yeah, but by about eleven o'clock, she had taken off for home. The plants were mostly taken care of at this point, and wouldn't need much work for a few more days and honestly? She was feeling a bit off. Something told her it was going to be one of those days, and whether it was all in her head or not, she wasn't liking the idea of shivering in pain in the back of the greenhouse. Claire had found her like that before, and she didn't like having to make her partner close up to take her home.
Once back at her apartment, she had stared at her phone for a while and considered texting Alec… and was just about to when the pain hit. It felt like the muscles were being torn from her bones all over again, and she dropped her phone, the screen cracking on the floor as she slumped to the ground, curled into herself in a ball as pain paralyzed her body. She sobbed into the carpet, wishing it to go away, needing it to go away. One of these days it was going to claim her sanity… she couldn't do this anymore. She didn't want to…
After a while she managed to make her way to a locked end table that sat in her living room. It really just looked like another piece of furniture, but inside was filled with potion bottles, and muggle pill containers, and ingredients that were rare and expensive and would probably get her in trouble with the ministry. But it didn't matter… There vials of liquids and several syringes.. Pretty much an addict's dream. But this wasn't about fun of pleasure, this was simply about making it through the day…
Her hands shook as she uncorked one of the bottles, downing the contents. And then a second. Alcohol was long forgotten in moments like this, because Nora knew well it didn't scratch the surface of what she was feeling right now.
Another sob wracked her body as she whimpered in pain, moving to grab a syringe, stabbing the tops of one of the glass bottles and drawing up a small amount. Not too much.. Not yet.
It didn't take long for her to find a vein, and once injected, a tiny bit of relief came to her from the mixture of magical and muggle. She could breath again, for the time being. But her feet weren't so solid as she tried to get up, tripping over the end table and knocking several bottles to the floor. They rolled away in different directions, but she didn't bother to pick them up. Instead she grabbed the blanket off of the couch and curled up on the floor.
Her lids grew heavy. Maybe she could just sleep for a while. But even then she felt the stinging pain shooting through her arm, but this time, it was at least tolerable.
She wasn't sure how long she had been out, but when she opened her eyes it was dark in her apartment. Was someone at her door? She tried to get up, managing halfway before falling down, her hand hitting a glass bottle and sent it careening over the hardwood, making a loud clattering noise.
No… she realized who it was now and fear shot through her. She wanted to tell him not to come in, that she was fine, but she couldn't find words. Instead a small cry sounded from her lips as she curled back up in her blanket, her back against the coffee table.
***
He lingered for a long moment, just… hoping she might answer the door, hoping that she might answer his messages, hoping she was still bloody well fucking alive, and was finally about to leave when he heard the cry.
Oh fuck, no.
Checking the door to find it locked, he drew out his wand to get it open, mindful of locking it again upon his entry. Did he feel particularly good about literally just barging into her space? No, not even a little bit. But he wasn't about to just let her suffer in here… or worse, the myriad of scenarios running through his head ranging anywhere from horrible to truly terrifying.
"Nora…?" Taking a few very slow steps in, he steeled himself before turning the corner.
Oh, how had he known to worry about something like this? Paranoia? Oh good, he was starting to be as bad as Katie.
Sucking in a sharp breath, he made his way over to where she was lying on the floor, kneeling down by her side as he smoothed some of her hair out of her face to tuck behind her ear.
"Hey," he said softly, doing his best to stop thinking about what he'd done in similar instances at the clinic or at St. Mungo's. He wasn't her fucking goddamn doctor, he was her boyfriend. That much at the very least was obvious judging by the feeling in his gut. "What can I do?"
***
While part of Nora was so incredibly happy he was there, because she just wanted him to hold her, the other part of her was bloody terrified. He was not supposed to see this. She had made it a point to keep all of this shit as far away from him as possible! And yet here he was…
"You shouldn't be here," she said softly, her voice sad as her face winced with pain, her entire body shaking. "I didn't want… this isn't what I wanted you to see.."
Nora rarely cried in front of other people. It was saved for very rare, very emotional instances. Because she hated people seeing it, she knew that it made her look weak.. And that was the last thing she needed to be accused of, even if it was completely true.
"I just wanted the pain to stop. I'm sorry, I never meant to worry you. Or drag you into this." Her eyes welled with tears as she looked away from him, at the bottles on her floor that had fallen out of the end table when she'd stumbled. "It just hurts, Alec."
***
Fuck. It genuinely hurt to see her like this. He'd gotten so used to clinical detachment from his patients at work that it was actually catching him off guard, a million questions running through his mind simultaneously.
What the fuck had she been through? How long had this been going on? Was it all from the accident? If so, what had happened to her? Was it always this bad? Had she always combined what she just had in order to cope with this, or was this a wholly new combination that ought to worry him?
But those were questions for her doctor to be asking, and he mentally kicked himself again as he leaned down to press a kiss to her temple.
Why she thought she'd had to keep this from him was completely beyond him, even if he-- vaguely, distantly, logically and objectively-- understood the reasoning she'd likely had behind it.
"I'm just sorry you're going through this. But if you're worried that me seeing you like this is going to make me freak out and leave, I can tell you that I've seen way fucking worse than this and I'm not going anywhere. I like you. That's all of you. Even the parts that are awful. And I know that you'd do the same for me."
There was a part of him that was, beneath the surface, very distinctly, starting to panic.
And then it hit him.
Katie's accident.
Well, wasn't that just bloody wonderful. The last thing she needed was for him to start to freak out because he was having flashbacks to finding out followed by months spent in the hospital at her bedside.
Swallowing hard, he reached for a couple of the scattered bottles. He needed to figure out a way to balance the doctor in him with the boyfriend in him without losing all focus entirely. He didn't want to fuck up and hurt her in some way, but he also wanted to support her.
Baby steps, then.
"Nora, baby," he said softly as he read some of the labels, his hand moving to touch on her cheek his thumb gently stroking the skin there. "Do you feel comfortable telling me what all you took?" Then, quieter-- "Should I be worried?"
***
Nora listened to him quietly, tears still slowly falling from her eyes, even at his soft, reassuring words. In her mind it didn't matter that he had seen worse, because she didn't want him to see it in her. What if that's all he could ever see? Her fears that she had brought up to Dora the day of her move came flooding back, and part of her started to hyperventilate for a moment, but she calmed herself. Freaking out was not going to make this any better. It would only serve to make it so much worse.
His hands were so comforting, so warm though, and she couldn't help but lean into his touch, looking up at him with red, tear filled eyes. He was just so perfect, so nice, why did she have to be this way? Why did that man have to take out his anger on her? It was a game. Had it been worth ruining her life? Did he ever feel guilty? Did he ever think back and reconsider his actions? Did she even matter in the slightest?
Why did it have to be her?
But no… if it wasn't her, it might have been someone else, someone she cared about. Maybe it was for the best.
His question made her breath catch though, and she looked around, trying to swallow as she thought about if she wanted to answer that question or not. But she didn't want to lie to him either, that was the last thing in the world..
Picking up an unmarked vial of blue, iridescent liquid she gently placed it in his hands, taking a deep breath. "I made it… the basic idea of a medical pain potion but… stronger. About twice as much. Two of them and then… she toed the glass vial that was laying on it's side on her floor.
"Fentanyl… 25 micrograms. This time. I fell asleep after, even though it didn't make it all go away…" she let her blanket fall from her frame, revealing her shoulder. The skin the was extra hot to the touch, and her muscles seemed… almost wrong. Of course there was scar tissue and remnants of other surgeries, but it looked as though her skin was indented in several places. Multiple spasms. Continuous. Like the world's worse charlie horse that warped your muscles and didn't go away for days.
"They could never get it to stop… Dark magic is difficult to figure out when you don't know the spell. And sometimes the spells are… unique. Made up by the person casting it. So treating the effects is sometimes impossible…" The papers had never been explicit about what had caused her 'career ending injury' because they didn't want to admit to a fan using dark magic on a player. They were worried about ticket sales, people not coming out of fear. For the most part, it had been brushed under the rug.
"Sometimes it's fine. I can go for weeks.. Nothing. But then.." she looked around at all the drugs on her floor. "It's like it's happening all over again. And I just.. Want to die when it does. It feels like every muscle is being torn off of my bones again. Over, and over, and over.." she couldn't help it as she started crying again.
***
Running his hand down his face, he mentally catalogued what she'd taken. Thank the fucking heavens the ones strewn about hadn't been added into the mix. Although… fuck, he'd been tested on this shit. Fentanyl.
"You haven't been drinking, have you?" He didn't think she had, but if she'd made herself a drink prior to the pain setting in… "Fuck, you'd think they'd be good enough at their jobs to at least give you something to deal with the pain."
Shuddering out a long breath, he inhaled sharply at the sight of her shoulder. There had to be something-- anything-- some kind of spell--
Fuck, if he trusted himself to do it, he'd offer to help make her brain think it wasn't in pain, but at this point there was no fucking way. He'd have to call a colleague, which would be a fucking pisser, if only because he was a rare goddamn specialist in his field, but if it got worse…
If he remembered correctly, there had been someone making advancements in Sweden, maybe he could beg him to come down and help her…
Leaning in to gently kiss her shoulder, he let his hand run softly through her hair.
"Tell me what I can do. Anything. Even if it means helping you take more of… I don't know, something. I'll rob a fucking Muggle hospital if you need me to."
Merlin, was there anything he wouldn't do for this woman?
He wasn't sure that there was anymore.
***
At his question, Nora shook her head, knowing that was the worst of combinations when one had fentanyl in their system. She remembered, because she had tried that before. Not that she was going to tell him about that. They were currently going through enough of her shit right now, digging up old demons wasn't exactly on her to do list.
At his kiss, Nora's heart nearly melted in her chest. He was so… gentle. She could nearly feel how much he cared rolling off him, and she hoped that she could give him half of much as what he continued to give her on a daily basis. Why her? Why did he want her? Why did he put himself through all of this for her? Part of her wanted to tell him it wasn't fair to himself, but the other part couldn't bare to let him go either.
"I wish there was something someone could do. I started mixing drugs because the strongest shit they give me at the hospital doesn't do anything, and because of… safety reasons, they can't give me any more. Plus, they all look at me like I'm an addict. They've been cutting me short lately, telling me I could get better if I just tried harder. But I don't have any more money for physical therapy. All my Quidditch money was gone two years after the accident. Between the experimental procedures, the drugs, the therapy.. All of it. I have nothing left. So I do what I have to so I can get through the bad days. Maybe that makes me weak, maybe that does make me an addict. But.. it's better than being nothing at all, right?" And though she was speaking to him, she was also just speaking out loud in general. Existing was better than not existing, yeah?
"I wish I was stronger, but… it's been years, Alec. You don't know how many times they've tried to fix whatever remaining dark magic is there… but they haven't. They can't. Maybe someone else can, but.. I'm tired. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, really. But… I just, there are dark parts of my life I'm scared of showing you. Not because I don't think you won't accept them, but because I don't want you to have to. I want to be better than what I am, because you deserve it. But I just… can't."
***
All right. Listening-- now that was something he was good at, Alec just continuing to play with her hair as she talked.
"What about workman's comp? A fucking severance package? If they left you like this, I mean… fuck, Nora. An American would run to sue the place. Or at the very least go to the papers so that they could get hush money out of the company."
The last thing he wanted was to insult her pride in some way. She'd been proud enough not to tell him about this, and he considered, very seriously, how to go about saying this as delicately as humanly possible.
"And… if you're willing to take the help, you know it's always there," he sighed.
"You don't have anything you need to apologize for, Love. You haven't done anything wrong. You're managing to the best of your ability. And yeah, do I want to try and find something that could help even… ameliorate this? Of course, I do. I have some connections, I can make the calls, and I'm not nearly as tired as you are. You also shouldn't have to be doing this in the first place. I'm not going to push anything on you. I don't want you to feel like a charity case or a case file. Because you're neither of those things. If you were a case file, I might actually trust myself to be able to help you out. But I'm… way too invested at this point to even consider fucking around with that.
"My point is that… at the end of the day, I don't want you to change anything about yourself that you don't want to change. I'm happy to have you just as you are. And if that means being there for you at times like this… then that's okay. I can handle it."
Letting his fingertips ghost over her shoulder, he frowned. "Does it hurt to touch? Would it be possible to work out the tension in there, or would that be unbearable? I don't want to hurt you… but I also would quite like to curl up with you on your bed instead of watching you deal with lying on the floor on top of everything else you're dealing with right now."
***
Nora sighed, wondering once again if telling him was a good idea. But he just wanted to help, and she knew that, and was comforted in the idea that he was so willing to go the extra mile, that he was willing to do anything to make her feel better.
"I got money when I was injured, but it only lasts for so long. I had only been playing professionally for a few years, so my salary wasn't as crazy huge as some of the bigger names, you know? I was getting there. Slowly. But when it happened, they can only pay you for so long, Alec. And treatments are incredibly expensive, as is therapy. And I needed years." She sighed, pulling her knees to her chest with her good arm before she pressed her face into her knees for just a moment.
"I don't want to be that person. The one who blackmails. I love Quidditch. I love my team. They had to do what they had to do. No one would want to bring their kids to a match if they knew what had happened. The entire industry would suffer. I may not seem like I'm one of the types to give a shit about the many, but… I do. In this case." Looking back up, watched his arm move behind her back, his fingers slowly touching her skin. It felt so nice, even through the pain.
And maybe it was true, he wasn't as tired as she was. But she was also afraid to get her hopes up at the idea that someone could cure her, only for it to fall through. Her life had been one huge disappointment after the other, and she still was unsure how many more she could handle. But maybe if she went into it not believing anything good would come out of it, the entire ordeal would be easier. That was, if she agreed in the first place.
"I just… want the pain to go away. I.. I get so tired of living like this. Constant fear of when it's going to happen. I'm ruled by something I don't even understand, and I hate it." She spit the word out violently, shaking her head as the momentary spike of emotion subsided.
"It's not as bad now. Not like it was earlier," she admitted to him then, trying to address his question. "Then… I would say no. Nothing.. Nothing helps when it first starts. Now.. maybe?" She looked up at him, her face and eyes clearly showing how utterly broken and exhausted she was by the reality that she lived in.
"Can you carry me there? I don't think I can get up," she admitted, even though it was a bit of a hit to her pride. She hated asking for help.
***
He couldn't help it. He was a Slytherin. Loyalty to those he cared about was more important than anything else. Truth, justice, kindness, mercy-- none of those mattered anymore when it came to those he loved. Was it supposed to? Sure. But it wasn't the most important thing. As it stood, Nora came first, and a part of him wondered how much of the world he'd watch burn just to help keep her safe.
Watching this was torture. If he could help her…
"I want that for you," he said softly. It sounded like absolute hell, what she was going through; fuck, had been going through for god only knew how long. Years now, if he remembered correctly. It had happened fucking years ago. "There are… some strides being made in my field up in Scandinavia. I'm not… promising anything, but I'd be able to get it for free. I'm not saying that it would be easy. It would probably take several sessions at least, probably on a weekly or bi-monthly basis. And there's a bit of risk there. But… it could really help. But like I said. I'm not going to push anything on you that you don't want."
She looked so damn exhausted, and Alec sighed. "This," he said quietly, leaning in to kiss her forehead before oh-so-fucking-gently gathering her up into his arms, "is in my job description as your boyfriend. You don't even have to ask."
***
Nora couldn't help but laugh when he said it wouldn't be easy. Not because she was making fun of him, but just the very idea seemed silly to her. Nothing for her had ever been easy, after all. "Alec…" she said softly, looking at him, her arm that wasn't filled with tingling pain touching his face so he would look into her eyes. "I've never had anything to be easy, or without risk in my life. I wouldn't expect that to change now." Leaning in, she kissed him gently, revelling in the feeling of him so close. His warmth… As much as she still wished he hadn't seen this, she as happy he was here. "Whatever you want to try, as long as you're there, I'll do it," she said softly.
When she was in his arms, she couldn't help but gently kiss his neck, her fingers tracing patterns in his chest as her other arm remained clutched tightly to her chest.
Once they were in her room, in her bed, she curled up next to him, pressing her body against his.
"I'm sorry I scared you today. That was never my intent. I meant to text you back… but.. My phone," she thought for a moment before remembering. "I think it's broken. On the living room floor. I'll have to get it fixed tomorrow."
***
Fuck. A part of him was genuinely surprised she'd said yes. And yet, at the same time, he couldn't help but feel damn grateful.
He'd set her down as gently as he'd been able before joining her, his arms wrapping around her almost protectively. Christ, what would he have done if he'd come to her place to find a radically different sight on her floor? He didn't even want to fucking think about that.
"Right now, I'm just glad that you're… even remotely close to okay. Not… dead, I mean." That had been the running theme the longer the stretch became since her last text to him after he'd wished her a good morning. "I don't know what I would have done if..."
He sighed, taking in a deep breath before leaning his forehead to hers. "I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. And I'm sorry for whatever I did that made you think that you couldn't… tell me." It had been one of his more significant fears, that his profession would get in the way of her ability to trust him with… this, with anything else along the same vein. "I want to be able to support you. I don't know how good I'm going to be at that, but I'm going to do my best not to fuck up, yeah?"
***
"No, not dead," she assured him as she pressed her face into his chest, wondering if that had been an actual fear. Did she really give off that vibe? Then again… yeah, she probably did. Between the drinking and the potions and her sometimes dangerous behavior, she couldn't exactly blame him, could she?
"Look… I don't want to go anywhere, okay? Not anymore." She didn't meant to add that last part, but it was the truth. She was a different person now, and that was actually a good thing.
"Alec.." she said softly, feeling the weight behind those words. And what was even more, making him feel like he had done something when that was the furthest from the truth. "You didn't do anything, okay? This really doesn't have anything to do with you. This is… this is me. This is my fear that if everyone knew about this, they'd look at me differently. They'd feel sorry for me. They'd treat me differently. I don't want that, you know? I just.. There's still a lot of things that I'm afraid to share with anyone. That was wrong of me, and I'm sorry. Out of everyone… I know I can be honest with you. So I'm trying to be. Just.. be patient with me?" She looked up at him, her eyes apologetic as she pressed another kiss to his lips.
"I care about you so much. I really do."
***
Merlin, he didn't want to tell her that he'd fucking figured by now-- there had been before her accident, too, and the papers hadn't exactly minced words about her behavior then, either-- if only because he didn't want her to feel like that was something he saw her as. Because it wasn't. It was just a fact that he, in his profession, observant as he was, would have been stupid to overlook.
Besides. It didn't take a genius to figure out what anyone would have to do to deal with an accident like hers.
And then there was the fact that she hung around Roger, or the truly impressive liquor cabinets that both she and Dora seemed to own.
Her accidental confession seemed to roll off him, too. Even if she had, at one point, wanted to end things… she wasn't wrong about that. She was a different person from the one she'd been back then.
He shook his head. "Don't apologize. I'm just glad that you trust me. I love you; of course I'll be as patient as you need me to be."
Oh. Wait.
Fuck.
***
Everything seemed to be falling into place for the time being. He knew, and he wasn't running away. Alec actually wanted to help her. Nora supposed it could have all been worse. He could have saw her as the pathetic, broken thing she knew she was, instead of a person who was just trying to get by…
She was about to close her eyes and snuggle into him again when she heard those words. Wait… did she actually hear them right? His voice was ringing in her ears over and over and over… she couldn't be wrong.
He loved her? But… No one loved Nora. Not like that. Not after everything he'd just found out.
For a moment her heart froze in her chest, and she couldn't seem to look up and at him. Instead she was silent for a moment, trying to process everything, trying to take it all in. It was a lot to take in.
But it also made her have to question herself, her feelings. What if Alec had found her earlier, and left? What if he had broken up with her, and never spoken to her again? What if he told her he couldn't do this anymore, couldn't handle her? Suddenly she realized something and it absolutely terrified her. She didn't want him to go anywhere. Her heart would be shattered if he did. That could only mean one thing, right?
Looking up, she pulled his chin down and met his lips, kissing him for a lot longer than just a soft, simple peck. It was sweet, passion filled, meaningful. When she pulled away she pressed her forehead to his, closing her eyes. "I love you too," she whispered ever so softly.
***
For a very, very long moment there, he wished that it was possible to undo speaking, just… inhale the words right back again and pretend nothing had ever been said.
He'd told Dora during their little… meeting that he was falling in love with her. Hard and fucking fast. Maybe he just hadn't realized how hard and fast. Of course, it wasn't the fall that mattered all that much.
It was the landing.
And in that extremely, exceedingly pregnant pause where Alec wondered what the sweet, sweet embrace of death might feel like, he might as well have been bracing for impact. Any moment now, any number of things could happen.
She could echo his sentiment, and it would be back to the fireworks he felt whenever he kissed her.
She could tell him that she really cared about him, too, like she had just, in fact, done, and he could try and live with the fact that he had, most likely, just royally fucked up everything, because when those little words were said too soon…
Or she could tell him that she didn't know how she felt, that she'd have to think about it, or-- worse, yet-- she could simply decide to end things right then and there.
So he waited, frozen, suspended in time, and wondered what life without her in it would be like.
It really hadn't been that long, but already she meant the world to him.
And then she kissed him. Was that an answer? If it was, it certainly felt like an agreement in mind, Alec sighing softly when she pulled back, his hand moving to caress her cheek.
Oh thank Merlin.
"Yeah?" He couldn't help the smile that graced his features at that. Fuck. That had been a really, really soft landing.
***
She felt bad for making him wait so long, wondering what had gone through his mind during her silence, but at least the outcome had been a positive one? Either way, she was more sure of her answer when he smiled at her like that. He was… so incredibly sweet.
"I'm getting too old to deal in uncertainties. I don't usually have good things in my life, Alec, and you've been one of them for a bit now. I tried to think about being alone again, and… I couldn't. Not without you. So.. you're stuck with me, I guess?" she said with a small giggle, but a little bit of seriousness returned after.
"It might not be easy, you know. I'm… complicated. But.. if you want to be with me, then I want you to stay." She kissed him then again, wrapping both her arms around him even though the action made her shudder in the slightest bit. She didn't care. At all. Not right then.
***
"Good. Because I want to be with you. And I want to stay. Just... don't let me go thinking that you've gone and died on me again," he said softly, the same small smile still lingering there. "Scared me today."
Kissing her right then just felt right, the thing that he should be doing even as he felt the motion seem to ripple through her, one of his hands running up to her shoulder, as though trying desperately to calm it through touch alone.
The only thing that could get in the way now… was Roger. The thought made his stomach churn, but all the same, he couldn't help but hope that he wasn't wrong in his assumption-- little nagging fears aside-- and that, if push came to shove, she'd choose him.
He had, after all, run off to Asia. And Alec was right here. With her.
***
Nora giggled slightly, a look of guilt crossing her features at his comment. "I promise never to make you think I've gone and died on you. I don't want to go anywhere… I'm too comfortable right here, with you," she told him honestly. And perhaps he had some reason to have those fears. Her feelings for Roger were still… complicated. But Roger had his chance, right? He had years.
And they weren't getting any younger, that was just a fact. One day, Nora had to grow up. She supposed now was as good of time as any. But if Alec thought for one minute she wasn't going to continue causing a little bit of mayhem here and there, he had another thing coming.
But she honestly didn't believe that would be a problem.
"So… now I think you should help me forget the rest of the day. What do you say?" she whispered the words to him, her lips travelling down his jawline, his neck…
***
"Might have to stay over more often, in that case," he said, his smile widening as he leaned in to kiss her forehead. "Besides. I love waking up to you next to me."
He was quiet for a moment at that. "I'm sorry to have barged in on you like that. I'm normally pretty good about respecting privacy, but..." Well. He'd been sincerely worried about her safety. And… evidently not without reason, too.
Now, though, he had to admit that he liked this new idea of hers, a slow grin forming as a soft laugh escaped him. "Mmhmm… I'd like that." There was only one small question he had to ask first, his hand running slowly up her back to linger on her shoulder. "How's this feeling? Still hurt?"
***
"Do you now?" she asked sweetly. "Well, I like you being next to me. I didn't know how nice it was to sleep next to someone. Especially someone so warm," she finished with a giggle, pressing one of her cool hands to his neck. Nora, for as small as she was, tended to run a little cold. Alec was like the most attractive human heater she'd ever encountered. Of course, he was far more than that to her, but… well, it was an extra little treat.
Putting her hand up to his mouth when he apologized, Nora shook her head. "No, you had every right to. I understand it, completely. Now if you start going through my stuff for no reason, that might be different, but this? I think I'd panic if I hadn't heard from you all day either." Especially with how much they spoke lately. It would be so weird not to hear from him, and she'd probably panic as well. He had been nothing more than a doting boyfriend, and she appreciated that. It just really illuminated the fact he cared about her, and that wasn't an act..
"Not enough for me to not want this, want you," she said softly. "Just… be gentle?" she asked before she buried her face into his neck.
***
"What?"
He hadn't intended to just… say it, but he couldn't help his surprise at her words. Over all these years, no one had wanted to sleep next to her? No one had? Roger had never wanted to wake up to her before? Had never spent the night?
Fuck, no wonder she'd been so baffled that he wanted to take her on a date in the first place.
Smoothing her hair back, he sighed. "I have no idea how anyone could not want to wake up to this beautiful face."
He couldn't help his relief at her answer, a small smile coming over him as his fingers slowly tickled their way up and down her spine. Her mouth on his neck was a wonderful weakness of his that she loved to abuse-- something he loved for her to abuse, for that matter-- and he sighed out his delight, Alec slowly licking his lips.
"In that case… what will be the best way to keep us from hurting you, mm? You on top?"
***
Nora looked at him and tried to decipher his surprise, and for some reason… she felt like she needed to clarify. "It's… not that like, I've never been held ever. Or woken up with someone. I.. he just didn't like sharing a bed. Needed his space. I get it.." she was half mumbling under her breath, looking away from him. Because they both knew exactly who she was talking about. She just wasn't out to make him seem like a monster. He wasn't. He was just… neurotic. Like her.
But she didn't want to stay on that topic, blushing ever so slightly when he moved her hair away from her face, causing a smile to spread across her lips. She also couldn't help the slight squirm he pulled out of her as his hands moved over her spine.
"I mean…" she murmured against his skin, biting her favorite spot on his neck, sucking there softly before finishing her statement. "I could be on top. Or you could take me from behind. There are a lot of fun ways we could do this…" she teased, her nails slowly trailing down his front, already beginning to pop open the buttons of his shirt…
***
For a long while, he seemed to search for the answer in her eyes. Merlin. Roger was more fucked up than even he had thought, and that was genuinely saying something.
Tilting up her chin to get her to look at him again, he shook his head. "To me? The holding... the bed-sharing... the waking up together in the morning? It's all part of the main event."
Chuckling, he grinned like an idiot, his eyes closing at the feeling of her teeth, a soft groan leaving him. "Or we could just do it standing… away from the wall."
There were a lot of places he still wanted to make love to her. "We could bend you over the bed… get you on all fours…" Letting his hand slowly start to slip under her shirt, he smiled. "And since I still want to eat you out, we'll have to get creative about that, too. How are your thighs feeling?"
***
"Hmmm… part of me wants to call you a cheeseball, but the other part of me appreciates it, so I won't," she teased with a slight giggle, listening as he listed off all the different ways they could do it. Each one sounded as good as the other, and Merlin, did she really hate to make decisions..
"While I very much like the idea of you holding me up while I ride you," she said, arching into his touch, sighing softly at his hands on her skin. "I can't say I don't enjoy the idea of you bending me over the bed either. I was never, ever good at narrowing down something delicious for something equally delicious. Call me greedy," she teased, putting her hand over his own, leading him up to her breast.
"The question is, which one do you want to do first?"
***
"A little bit of each…?" He was more than happy to let her guide him, his hand eagerly cupping her breast, more than pleased to find her sans bra, his thumb moving to circle her nipple. "I could always hold your hips up… and then thrust up into you. That might be fun..."
For now, though, his primary goal would be to get her out of these clothes, Alec slowly sliding up her shirt, being mindful of her shoulder in the process before discarding it haphazardly beside the bed.
"I don't think that I could ever get tired of how beautiful you are," he said softly, his hands only slowly moving to start helping her out of her pants. "All of you," he added poignantly. That included her shoulder. As much as he hated the pain it caused her, he wasn't about to just write off an entire part of her. It wasn't ugly. It just needed some help.
And as flawless as she was to him, perhaps that was how she ought to come to see herself. Someone worth holding and loving-- someone worth the added effort required as a result of her past.
***
Merlin, she was already wet with the way they were talking. There was no shame in that though, at least not in her opinion. Tilting her head back a bit as his thumb moved over pert nipples, she bit back a slight moan, trying to keep the images of what he was describing out of her mind so she could focus but failing miserably.
Instead she was more than compliant, her shirt gone, and next her bottoms before she was completely naked. He was getting a little too good at getting her out of her clothes in record time…
"You're not so bad yourself, love," she added with a playful nip at his finger before she kissed him slowly, enjoying the taste of his mouth, the feeling of his tongue.
"I'm already so wet," she murmured against his mouth, wanting him to know what he could do her with minimal effort.
"I want you to feel me, and then taste me," she instructed, moving his hand down her abdomen, between her legs. "And then I want you to bend me over the bed and make me come as much as you can. Consider it a challenge," she teased, her hands running through his hair. "Thoughts?"
***
Oh fuck, his kinky little minx was getting creative, his grin only widening. "You mean… I get to feel you with my fingers… or with my cock? Because if you're asking me to eat you out after I come in you… I would be more than happy to oblige."
The making her come over and over part… that, he could handle easily enough.
"The real question is… how you'll want me to make you come first." Shedding his shirt, he tossed it behind him before letting his hand slip between her legs to start teasing at her entrance.
"Right now… with my fingers? I might not even have to touch your clit… I could just tease your g-spot until you squirm. Or I could tease you until you come from that alone. Or I could just get straight to using my tongue. If you're as wet as you say you are, you'll taste absolutely delicious."
Using his free hand to undo his belt and work his way out of his slacks, shoes and socks quickly following, he tugged his cock out of his boxer briefs, slowly starting to stroke himself.
***
While his words were certainly appealing, she couldn't help but point out, "Now.. if you do that, you wouldn't just be tasting me, now would you?" Though she'd have to store that mental picture for later…
But all that was gone when his fingers were between her legs, a small squeak escaping her lips as she squirmed against his hands, trying to thrust her hips forward for more. And his dirty talk? Merlin fucking fuck, it turned her on to no end, lit a fire beneath her skin..
Before she gave in and answered him though, she looked down at his own arousal, licking her lips in an almost hungry fashion. Because really? She wanted that too. She wanted it all.
Nora's thoughts soon became a jumble though, and she closed her eyes, pushing her head back into the pillows and groaned again.
"Your mouth. Use your mouth. Please," she begged, leaning forward to bite at his collarbone.
***
"Mmm… no," he shook his head, a playful smile on his face, "no, I would not."
A part of him was genuinely relieved that he'd told her on day one that he had a… bit of a problem with self-control when it came to sex. If that wasn't obvious to her by now, he'd have been sincerely surprised, but he'd have been lying to himself if he tried to claim that he hadn't been concerned on some level that she'd freak out.
Insatiable, kinky… there had been quite a number of dating arrangements over the years that had ended prematurely the second anything sexual entered the equation. And maybe that had also been part of the reason he'd delayed until the third date to do anything beyond kiss her.
Yes, Nora was not traditionally conventional in any sense of the word. But… she had also been sleeping with Roger, of all people. Roger, who likely only indulged in sex when he was high on… something. The SSRIs in his system were doing plenty to dull his sex drive; it wasn't as though Alec was, strictly speaking, surprised that it took substance to get him going… but it certainly carried alongside it some implications about Nora's substance use during the selfsame activities.
He wondered how many of those encounters she remembered clearly.
The point was that he was… different. He'd scared off his fair share of women on account of his… sexual proclivities, his voracious appetite. But she was also still here. And that was all that mattered.
"I so much love seeing you squirm," he chuckled, leaning in to whisper against her skin with a smile. "Especially when I whisper such filthy things into your ears..."
For now, though, he wanted to do exactly as she'd requested, Alec lifting her up from under her arms with a soft tut, tut before setting her down to kneel on the bed. "Not on your back… not taking any chances with that shoulder," he smiled, cocking his head at her almost playfully. "Which means that you should probably hold onto the headboard."
Easing her legs apart, he moved to position himself beneath her, Alec needing only to lean up somewhat-- hands at her hips to hold her in place-- to start lapping at her cunt, slowly starting to tongue-fuck her, his eyes closing only momentarily before he ran it up to her clit, his gaze fixed on hers, wanting to see her face while he was doing this to her.
***
Nora had never been the type to be afraid of her sexual side. Sure, she might have really thought she looked like a teenage boy when she was naked, on account of her small breasts and lack of any real curve to her body, but apparently that had never stopped men from wanting to sleep with her. And on some rare, very drunken occasions, women. It was one of the few things in life she still tried to thoroughly enjoy, even if sometimes she wasn't in the right mind to really be making those decisions, but the rush of endorphins that came whenever someone did manage to get her off served to put her into a good mood. She supposed that was no surprise though. She was no psychologist, but she understood hormones and other brain related chemicals to a certain degree. She wasn't completely dense in that regard.
There were very few taboos for her when it came to sexual activities, then. Sure, she wasn't much for bodily secretions, but other than that, she was mostly an open book. And she did have an appetite. Though she had a feeling hers was nothing compared to that of Alec's, yet she couldn't bring it in herself to see this as a negative thing. He certainly knew the way around a female, and not once did she have to wonder if she was going to get off or not. Hell, with him, something told her she would be okay if she didn't. Nora still felt she'd enjoy the act regardless.
Her entire body was nearly vibrating with lust and anticipation when he whispered into her ear, and the feeling almost doubled when he scooped her up. She knew she was tiny, but there was something about a man who could pick her up and move her around without any effort. It drove her absolutely wild.
Taking in a breath she reached out, grabbing the headboard as she felt his breath on her folds, her legs already half shaking before he delved into her. Groaning loudly, she bit down hard on her lower lip, her eyes closed, her brows furrowed in utmost pleasure. Within moments her grip on the wooden frame of the bed turned tight, her knuckles turning white in their effort to hang on.
"Fuck.. Alec.. my god," she moaned out, turning to bite down on her own arm, trying to stifle her noises but unable to do so. Her body shivered against him, and unable to stop herself, she thrust her hips into his mouth, wanting to reach down and smother him in her body. She was absolutely dripping for him, even aside from the moisture caused by his own mouth, and she was more than aware that even though it hadn't been long, he would bring her to the edge soon. It was just a talent of his, apparently.
"You're going to make me come… I might drown you," she teased between broken inhales of breath and soft groans. She looked down at him with a slight smirk before her face contorted in enjoyment again and she pressed her head against the headboard, body tightening.
"I'm almost there…"
***
Oh, like he'd ever let himself finish without making Nora come at least once. Sure, there might be the occasional quickie that wouldn't allow him to start off with making her come-- the small enclosed space of the maintenance closet at his office came to mind, the mental image of his hands wrapped around her thighs as he pushed her up against the wall seemingly seared into his mind-- but even if then he was reluctant to just make her come from sex alone-- there had always been a particular fantasy of his he might have to bring up with her later...
He might not have looked it-- chasers almost always were made up of nothing but lean muscle, after all-- but Alec was... unexpectedly strong opposite those who had the opportunity to encounter that particular side of him. It had been true during Hogwarts, of course, but he also hadn't let his body go to waste after-- first, sex had been his go-to workout (and it really was), but after that particular relationship had ended, he'd turned to exercise as an outlet for his stress.
Which also meant that Nora, tiny little thing that she was, was exceptionally easy for him to toss around.
Fuck, he loved it when she got loud, and he had half the mind to reach up and keep her from trying to stifle the sweet, sweet noises escaping her.
If her words had intended to slow him, they failed rather exceptionally, Alec just grinning against her skin as her redoubled his efforts. He hadn't been kidding; she was delicious, and he was intent on cleaning up the mess he'd made of her by the time he was done with her, Alec just barely letting his teeth draw-- infinitely gently, his fingers digging into the soft skin of her thighs to keep her in place for that moment-- over her clit before drawing it back into his mouth to suckle on the small nub, his gaze fixed on her face again.
If she didn't want him to make her come right now… she'd have to be fucking fast about her retreat, Alec evidently on a mission to make up for every bit of pain this woman had experienced earlier by replacing it with pleasure instead-- and in spades.
***
Sweet fucking Christmas, his teeth were like magic and Nora couldn't stop herself as she cried out, her legs quaking as her entire body fought her impending orgasm. Of course she could be easy and just let it happen, but she preferred to let those sorts of things build up, and of course, making him work for it. But right now it was all for naught, because she was fucking putty in his hands. That mouth of his was going to get her in real trouble one day, she just knew it.
Part of her knew he was looking at her too, but Nora wasn't really one to care about the faces she was making. And Merlin, was her facial expression a very direct sign that he was doing his job correctly. Panting with her mouth half open, her eyes closed as she cried out again, her grip on the headboard so fight that she knew her fingernails were leaving their imprint.
"Alec.. Alec.. Alec," she said, like a mantra, before hitting his name one final time and her orgasm spilling over. She cried out, pressing her forehead against her arm as she quivered, knowing he had plenty to lap up at this point as her shaking began to subside. Taking a deep breath she opened her eyes and laughed, still trying to form coherent thoughts, coherent words even, but not quite managing as her heart raced in her chest.
"I don't think I'm ever going to get used to how good you are at that. Might even be the death of me one day," she laughed, letting go of the headboard, beckoning to come up and kiss her with her pointer finger. "It's only fair if I get a little taste, don't you think?"
***
If there was one thing Alec knew for certain, it was that there were few things he wanted more than to get her in said trouble. He'd make sure of it. The slightly... exhibitionist streak in him practically demanded it, and there were a million possible places he could think of where he wanted to make it sincerely difficult for her to retain her composure.
It was easy for her to get him riled up, of course, and almost exceedingly visible when it did happen, but for her? It would be so, so easy, if, say, she was ever invited to dinner by his parents, for him to simply reach over… draw the skirt of her dress up her legs, and start teasing her under the tablecloth. The thought alone was making his-- already considerably hard-- dick twitch as he groaned into her, her orgasm absolute music to his ears as he readjusted to lap up every last drop of her.
Finally pulling back, he grabbed hold of her by her hips and lifted her for long enough that he might scoot back up the bed from where he'd been before. Licking his lips, he drew the back of his hand over his mouth and chin with a self-satisfied smile. "More than fair."
***
Of course, Alec wasn't the only one with some interesting thoughts on public displays. Of course, she wasn't going to be the type to fuck out in the open, that wasn't her style. But subtlety certainly was. Concealed toys to drive each other crazy, certain words and phrases to alert each other to the other's intention. It could all be a lot of fun..
Maybe she'd talk to him about that later. But for now, she pressed her lips to his, her tongue tangling with his so she could taste herself on his lips. Her hands found his hair, twisting into the strands and tugging gently, enough to cause a bit of tension. When she pulled away she giggled, biting his lower lip before finally letting go. "You're right, I do taste good," she agreed.
"Now, do you want to take me from behind. Pull my hair… control me? Or do you want me to ride you? Either sounds brilliant," she teased, her hands going down to circle his hard cock, pumping it in her grasp.
***
"Mmhmm," he nodded in rather obvious delight. It took a rare sort of woman to be willing to taste herself in the first place-- man, too, all things considered-- but here she was, his hands running up and down her sides and over her hips…
Merlin, he loved her face, that soft little giggle of hers, the way she liked to play the same sort of back-and-forth games as he did, giving as good as she was getting. At her question, though, his hands moved down to her ass instead to squeeze, appreciate the soft flesh even as he did his best to hold back the groan that wanted to break free from his throat at the feeling of her hand wrapped around his cock like that.
"You mean, do I want to be able to look down and see this… gorgeous ass of yours every time I thrust into you?" With a coy smile, he pulled his hand back to spank it, a resounding smack following. "Do I want… to be able to fuck you and have your delightful little tuckus there to cushion every blow?" Another smack. "I do like a spot of control, you're not wrong about that..."
Spanking her again, he grinned. "Get on all fours."