RP: In the middle of the night Who: Eleanor and open to Gaspard When: 6. January 2009, just after midnight Where: Cayo Espanto, Belize What: Eleanor has a lot on her mind Warnings: TBD
Eleanor didn’t know what woke her up. If it had been a screech from a nocturnal bird, a splash from a breaking wave, or maybe Gaspard had shifted in his sleep. It didn’t matter. She was awake, Gaspard was not, and that meant that there was nothing to stop her mind from spinning out of control with a myriad of thoughts, concerns and questions. The weight of his arm around her, his hand on her breast, his breath against her naked shoulder, the press of his chest against her back and his thighs against hers; for a moment she managed to feel only that.
She smiled into the dark, watching through the open doors how the moonlight danced on the waves. She watched how the mild Caribbean breeze nudged the curtain. She wondered what would happen when they went home. And just like that, her head was a chaotic mess of all the questions, qualms, hopes and dreams she had mentioned to Charlotte.
Careful not to wake up Gaspard, she slipped out from under his arm and went to the open door. They were out on the water, literally, and out of view from the island, yet modesty still bid her to cover up her naked body as she stepped out onto the porch. Gaspard’s white shirt was big on her, but it was comfortable. Foregoing the comfortable deckchairs, she instead sat down on the edge of the deck, letting her feet dangle into the water.
What would happen when they returned to London? Would it be them or just her to return? The man she had just left in the bed had opened her eyes in so many ways, or maybe she had opened his? Either way, right now, Eleanor knew that she was falling for him, and fast.
Despite her family’s claims that she lacked ambitions, she knew that wasn’t true. She had ambitions, just not professionally. Her dream was to raise a family with a man she loved. When she had started working with Gaspard she had figured she would work there until it was time for her to leave and focus on her family instead. But now things had changed. Now she was falling for the man she was going to stop working for when the time came. Was Gaspard the man she wanted to start a family with? Did he even want to start a family? If he did, then what? They had worked closely together for almost eight years. Some would say that was a decent amount of time for any couple before they moved on to the next phase. But… shouldn’t they get to spend some time in this new stage? Eleanor as still young, she had plenty of years before it was too late for her, yet though Gaspard wouldn’t grow too old to father children, he had just turned fifty and might find himself too old. So if they waited, and just dated, would she have to find another place to work? She wasn’t sure she could completely separate work and private life with him, but she didn’t like the notion behind being paid to be with him either. Gaspard would need a new assistant, and Eleanor wasn’t sure she could cope with the jealousy of someone doing the job she used to do.
What if she kept her position? Could they keep things separate? How could she be comfortable with him paying her? If they had sex during work hours – which given Gaspard’s talents in and out of the bed would be a real possibility – wouldn’t that make her a prostitute? She didn’t like that idea, and she was certain Gaspard wouldn’t either.
Then there was Gaspard himself. One small, gentle kiss at a wedding had landed them in the gossip pages. Granted, Eleanor had been ‘anonymous blonde’ which she was fine with, but Gaspard was anything but anonymous. She wasn’t sure she felt comfortable with the world knowing who she was, but how could she be with a man if she didn’t want the public to recognize her? Wouldn’t that be like saying that she didn’t accept him completely? And what would her parents say? Gaspard had been in the same year as them. He was literally old enough to be her father… his age was both an issue and an advantage.
With a sigh, Eleanor let her head fall back as she looked up at the stars. She knew she had a decision to make, as did Gaspard. Right now she just wished someone would make it for her.