Russandol (russandol) wrote in voicesinmyhead, @ 2008-03-10 15:11:00 |
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Current mood: | morose |
Prompt #31: Apology
What have you done that you wish you could apologize for?
Everything.
The whole thing, from the day my brothers and father and I swore that terrible oath, until the day I died, 500 years later, at the end of the First Age.
When my father took up a brand against the ships at Losgar and burned them, I alone stood back, realising the error of what we were doing. He looked at me that day with hate in his eyes, and said to me "If you do not stand with me, you stand with him." (meaning Morgoth). I was afraid then, afraid that he was right. Afraid of what would happen if I broke my oath and did not follow through until the bitter end.
And so I killed. My sword dripped red with the blood of other elves, and I could not stop or turn back because I dared not break the oath. Even after my father was killed I could not escape the grip of his control over me. I and my brothers were condemned as Kinslayers, and rightly so.
But what use an apology? It does not bring back those I murdered. It does not put right the wrongs I committed. I cannot apologise. All I can do is grieve.
Character: Maedhros
Fandom: The Silmarillion